It’s a New Day!

Jean ShNow this is cool! I’ve never had my own blog before, but I do now! :-) Technically, I have half a blog, because Chris made me an author here on his blog, so now we’re a husband and wife team here on Word Play, and maybe I’ll change the drapes and redecorate the living room. ;-)

Or maybe I’ll put that off until next week and properly introduce myself here, so I can talk all about me instead of Chris, like I did on the last two posts. Because I’m a blogger now, and although I’ve never been a self absorbed person before, I am a quick study and I think I can pick it up pretty fast. lol

J/K! :-) I don’t really think that all bloggers are self absorbed, and certainly not you! Because I know that you aren’t like that at all. Whoever you are, cause I don’t really know anything about you. So let’s talk all about me, since I know 100% more about me, than I know about you.

See? I told you I’m a quick learner, and I think I’ve already got this self absorbed blogging thing down. :-)

Ok, I’ll stop being a bitch now, and start being nice for a change – So you all won’t hate me forever right from the very start of my new blogging career. And BTW how much do we get paid here? 60K could work for me. Is that a realistic figure? Or am I selling myself short? Short like a hooker who specializes in turning tricks for dwarfs?

Ok, 80K is my final offer, so take it or leave it WordPress. Cause I don’t like leaving money on the table when it should go inside my Versace purse.

Speaking of money, now here’s a fun fact for this evening. E.L. James is now worth 80 million dollars as her just reward for writing (?) “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn’t it? Because who needs real talent, when you can trend all the way to the bank getting rich with a no talent gimmick?

But hey, don’t feel all down and out about it, all you hard working WordPress bloggers! You’ve got the genuine satisfaction of knowing that you already have more real talent in your little pinky ring fingers than E.L. James will ever have! So don’t stress over not having enough money to pay your bills, because you are the real writers, and E.L. James is like the “Pet Rock” of writing compared to you! Yeah, she’s just nothing but a Pet Rock cheap fan fiction gimmick – that’s now worth 80 million dollars.

But even in this atrocious travesty, there is still some humor to be found, and check it out here in this screen shot. Notice that advertisement on the right side? Some may think it’s just a coincidence, but I suspect it’s really a covertly clever editorial comment.

Do you have these symptoms?  Well if you do, then know that you are not alone, because I’m sure many others have had the same symptoms when they found out that “Fifty Shades of Grey” made E.L. James 80 million dollars.      

E L James Symptoms

Happy Holiday WordPress bloggers!  :-)

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another Different Point of View

Hi, it’s Chris’s wife Jean again, and I hope the people who follow this blog don’t mind me posting here again. Chris will be back and blogging again soon. He’s needed an extended break from blogging for personal reasons, which he may or may not want to write about here. I’ll just say that he’s been through a lot for a long time now, but things are finally getting better for Chris, and he’s feeling happier and more like himself again these days.

I want to do another post about Chris, because even though he says he’s fine with what I previously wrote, I feel like my description of Chris was overly negative and incomplete. Although all that I wrote about him is true, and Chris himself will be the first to admit that he’s not an easy man for a woman to live with, I want to say right now that Chris is also a wonderful man for this woman to live with. He is still my one true Soul Mate and the Love of my life today just as he has always been for me, for the last 25 years.

No matter how difficult our issues with each other have been, there has never been a day that I haven’t loved Chris with all my heart for as long as we have been lovers, husband and wife, best friends, and life long companions.

Let me tell you about some of the reasons why I love this complicated and contradictory man so much.

Chris is an excellent teacher who is also patient and supportive while teaching his skills to others, and he never makes anyone feel stupid or inadequate if they are struggling to learn. And if they fail, he tries his best to make them feel better instead of feeling worse.

When I first met Chris, although I had just completed a scuba diver certification training course, compared to Chris I knew almost nothing about diving. I also suffered from a high level of anxiety before going diving. But Chris could almost always get me to relax, and no matter how many times I screwed up my gear or made mistakes while diving, Chris never got impatient with me. Instead, he would straighten out my dive gear without complaining, and cheerfully review with me whatever dive skills that I needed to relearn.

We were both members of the New England Aquarium Dive Club, and soon after I met Chris, I learned that he was one of the most popular members in the club. He was popular with the experienced divers because he was an excellent dive buddy with a very low rate of air consumption who almost never got into trouble during a dive. The veteran divers also knew that he was capable of helping them if they ever had problems of their own while diving.

Chris also frequently volunteered to dive with the newest and least capable divers on club dives, even though sometimes this resulted in a less enjoyable dive for him when rookie divers ran low on air in only half an hour, and he had to surface with them with his tank still 2/3rds full. He seldom complained when novice dive buddies ended his dive almost as soon as it started, when they couldn’t clear their ears or they panicked as soon as they were underwater. Or their rental regulators malfunctioned by “free flowing” a constant stream of fast moving air bubbles underwater at too much pressure to safely breathe.

The club Dive Masters were glad to see Chris show up for a shore dive, since they knew that he was willing to make their jobs easier by helping them with the inexperienced divers, who they knew would be safe diving with Chris.

Even the New England dive boat captains, who tended to be impatient and easily irritated, liked Chris. He kept all his gear well organized so he could suit up quickly and he was usually the first diver ready to go down. Dive boat captains liked this because they didn’t like it when divers were disorganized and too slow, since this could make them late and screw up their schedules.

But the dive boat captains wouldn’t have liked Chris so much, if they had been at a dive club party on the night that Chris did a hysterically funny parody of their sometimes less than customer friendly attitudes by yelling out dive boat commands in a German accent and sounding like a WWII Nazi. “Rause!!! Rause!!! EveryVone OUT of Das Boot REICH NOW!!! Or yoo vill AULL be SHOT! Und then VEE VILL VHIP YOO!!!” I guess you had to be there. lol :-)

Oh, and the female divers? The young female college co-ed divers??? Chris was a little too popular with them for my liking. Chris was friendly and funny, and so totally in his element with anything to do with diving, that he was like self confidence personified. There were some dives when I felt like I needed a big stick to beat those college girls with, to keep them the hell away from him!

When I first met Chris, I also had a really bad fear of heights. But since Chris loved to go hiking in the White Mountains in New Hampshire, I wanted to go with him, and enough to face my fear of heights, no matter how scared I’d get up on some of the steeper and more exposed higher elevation trails. But again, Chris was gentle and patient with me, and eventually my fear of heights wasn’t so bad anymore.

I also knew nothing about back country wilderness hiking and camping. But just like with diving, Chris taught me everything that I needed to know. He also opened up a whole new world of experience for me, and I fell in love with the wild natural beauty and serenity of the wilderness, as I was falling more deeply in love with Chris. And my heart sang when I knew that Chris was falling just as deeply in love with me.

Before I met Chris, I was in a very serious relationship that lasted for three years, but finally failed when the guy I was with tried to coerce me into marrying him by issuing me an ultimatum, telling me that it was over for us if I wouldn’t marry him. For personal reasons I didn’t believe in marriage at the time, so I broke it off with him. It was a very painful break up, both for him and for me.

I started getting frequent migraine headaches, and the pain from the worst ones was so bad that I couldn’t go to work or go anywhere at all. All I could do was lie down in a darkened room and try to stay still and not move, while my head was in extreme agony for what seemed like forever, until finally the worst of the pain went away.

But then around two months after I met Chris, something that seemed almost miraculous happened. The migraine headaches stopped and never came back. Maybe it had nothing to do with Chris, and the timing was just a coincidence.

All I know for sure, is that Chris could do something for me that no man had ever been able to do for me before. He could tell me that I was truly beautiful, and the most wonderfully beautiful woman he’d ever known in all his entire life. He could say this to me in a way so powerfully pure and genuinely sincere that I knew he really meant what he was saying to me. And when I heard him telling me that I was so beautiful, for the first time in my life, I felt like I really was a beautiful woman.

I was beautiful and I knew this was true, because I could see myself the way that Chris saw me. I no longer cared if anyone else saw me that way, because I saw my own beauty reflected back to me from the light shining in Chris’s eyes. His tone of voice and his words, so heartfelt and absolutely real, was my proof that yes, for this one man only, and the only man that mattered to me anymore, I was a truly beautiful woman.

The night that this realization became absolute truth for me, as his precious gift to me forever… came around two months after Chris and I were together, and soon after that night, the migraine headaches were gone; never to return.

Coincidence? Feel free to draw your own conclusions. I already made mine a long time ago, and that will never change.

Posted in Personal, Scuba Diving | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Different Point of View

Hi, this is not Chris here, but his wife Jean.

Jean2Chris asked me to write a description of who he is from my point of view as his wife, after 23 years of marriage.

Chris is… so many things. He’s multifaceted, complicated and also a walking talking collection of contradictions. He’s highly intelligent, but also incredibly stupid when he does impulsive things that aren’t to his advantage or well being, either because he’s in a mentally lazy mood, or he’s in a state of emotional overreaction.

Chris is very well spoken and articulate, but often to a fault when he gets obsessed by a subject and then he drones on endlessly about it, until I’m ready to scream and tear my hair out. Sometimes the only thing to do, is to just leave the house, and hope that he’s off his rant when I come back. I’ve often had dreams about Chris talking endlessly to me, and I wish that wasn’t really true, but it is.

But here’s one of those contradictions that makes Chris who he is. Chris is his boss’s official business letter writer for conflict resolution situations involving customers and business associates. This is because when business and money is involved, Chris can write short but direct and very persuasive letters, that often help to resolve a conflict in his company’s favor. Chris has also written at least three speeches for his boss to deliver at trade association meetings and business conventions. I know that the people who have followed this blog will find this hard to believe, but it’s true.

I think it’s because Chris is a money player, and he’s much more tightly focused and clear with both his written and verbal communication when there’s money on the line. So maybe I should get something like a Taxi cab meter for here at home, and when Chris starts to go into one of his endless rants, I’ll tell him that the meter is running, and he’s being charged 50 cents a word. lol :-)

Chris is also an adrenaline junkie who has a long history of getting off on endangering his own life by doing very dangerous things that could get him killed. During our honeymoon in Hawaii, I thought that Chris was going to turn me from a newlywed into a widow, when he suddenly walked off our hiking trail and ventured fifty yards out onto the very narrow three foot wide knife edge of a cliff, with 2,000 foot vertical drops on both sides. Chris spent the next 45 minutes out on that cliff taking photographs, while I hid behind a tree because I was terrified he was going to die, and I couldn’t stand to watch it happen.

But nothing bad happened, and we both went on to have a wonderful honeymoon together in Hawaii, in spite of some unpleasant weather events that weren’t Chris’s fault. Speaking of honeymoons and related topics, I will say that Chris is the most genuinely heartfelt and originally romantic man that I’ve ever known, and the things he has said and done, often coming as a surprise that I was never expecting, have made my heart just melt with love for him. But unlike Chris, I’m not going to tell you all about our sex life in more detail than you ever wanted to know, because I’m also a woman and I know better.

Fun Random True Fact About Chris: When we were hiking at the top of Franconia Ridge in New Hampshire several summers ago, we saw a large thunderstorm quickly approaching in our direction. Since Franconia Ridge is above the tree line and totally exposed to bad weather, it’s a very dangerous place to be during a thunderstorm because getting hit by lightning is very real possibility. So of course I thought that Chris would probably shout a few frustrated obscene words to curse our goddamn fucking shitty luck, and then reluctantly head back down the ridge to escape the danger from the storm.

But instead, Chris defiantly climbed up on a high rocky ledge, and began yelling directly at the thunderstorm, in a loudly obscene tirade that insulted the thunderstorm’s “masculinity”. And no, no drugs or alcohol were involved. When I told Chris to get his ass back down off that ledge and get us the hell off the ridge, he glowered scornfully down at me and sneered “Why? Because of this gutless little limp wristed pussy of a storm? No fucking way!”

Then he looked up in the sky at the darkening clouds and yelled “Cummon! Hit me! You pathetic little fake excuse for a storm! Yeah, I’m talking to you! Do you see any other storms around here? Well all I see is YOU! And you got NOTHING!!! Show me what you really got, cause I don’t think you’ve got the balls to fuck with me! Hit me with your best shot! What? Nothing? I’m already standing on the highest point up here, so what are you waiting for? Go ahead and fire away! Either show me you’re for real, or get the fuck out of here! What? Do I need to point a fucking nine iron up in your face for you to take a shot at me?

“Chris!!! This is NOT funny!” I yelled furiously at him! “Are you out of your flippin’ mind?! Get down off that ledge RIGHT NOW and hike your fucking deranged and crazy ass down off this goddamn RIDGE!!!”

But Chris just briefly looked down at me and replied “Go ahead and go on down yourself, Jean. And then you can hike your ass back up here, when this candy assed pansy of a storm blows far away from here, and veers off to the Southeast without even so much as raining on us.” Then he was glowering up at the sky again and shouting “Right, pin prick little dick storm? You don’t even have the balls to RAIN on me!!!”

I’d had enough of this dangerous insanity and started heading for the trail that led back down the ridge, but I stopped when I heard Chris yelling at the storm again. “YEAH!!! That’s right! Keep on moving and just blow your pathetic little no balls storm right on outta here! Go see if you can bluff some fools Southeast of here into thinking that you’re for real! Cause that’s not gonna happen up here and you know it! YEAH!!! You’d better run!!! And just keep on running, you pathetic little piece of shit!”

I looked out at the thunderstorm, and blinked twice when I saw that the storm really was veering off to the Southeast, just as my seemingly deranged husband had predicted that it would. ‘Did he know that all along?’ I silently wondered? ‘Or is he just bat shit crazy and very lucky?’ I decided to think that he knew the storm was going to miss us, and he was just messing with my head the whole time. Hey it might be true, and believing it was true made me feel less anxious about my husband’s state of mental health.

On several occasions before and during our marriage, I’ve seen Chris get himself into serious trouble, and then perform a minor miracle to get himself out of trouble unharmed. Like the time in 1992 when Chris impulsively went for a two mile swim out to an island in Casco Bay in coastal Maine. When I tried to warn him about the very dangerous currents that made swimming any distance out in the bay a very bad idea, Chris just blew me off, telling me that I was being overcautious, and there was nothing to worry about.

After Chris swam to the first island, he impulsively swam out to a second island farther out in the bay, and then on to a third island, where he was caught in one of those currents that I tried to warn him about. The result was that Chris spent over seven hours swimming in bone chilling cold Maine ocean water, while a U.S. Coast Guard helicopter spent all day trying to find him. But the USCG helicopter couldn’t find Chris, because he was five nautical miles out in the bay, and they never looked for him that far away from shore.

Chris was finally spotted and rescued by a sailboat in the waters between the second and third island, where he was making an almost superhuman effort trying to swim back against the current, and he had covered over two nautical miles of distance swimming against the current back towards his original starting point. Chris was rushed by an ambulance to a hospital in Brunswick Maine. The ER doctors told me that his core body temperature was 82 degrees, and he was in a severe state of hypothermia that would have caused him to become unconscious and drown, if he had been in the water for 15 minutes longer, instead of being picked up and rescued by the sailboat.

Chris still holds the unofficial record in Harpswell Maine, for being the only person to swim for over seven hours in the cold ocean waters off the coast of Harpswell Neck, and survive.

Chris almost died that day, but I was the one who suffered the most, going through endless hours of emotional anguish while thinking that I’d never see my husband alive again. Of course I was overjoyed when I finally got the call telling me that he had been found, and he was going to live. Then soon after that, I wanted to kill him myself.

But Chris has always had a flair for the dramatic, and I got a vividly unforgettable demonstration of that on the day we first met. I know he’s told this story here before, but I can verify that he really did save my life on the day we first met, during a scuba dive off the coast of Gloucester, Mass. An example of his contradictory nature, is that although Chris has done some astoundingly stupid and dangerous things, he is also a skilled and meticulously careful scuba diver who never deviates from his dive plan, and he never takes foolish risks while scuba diving.

I wouldn’t be here writing this, if Chris hadn’t been able to perform another miracle to save both my life and his own, while faced with a life threatening and nearly impossible situation involving rough seas and big waves crashing into the huge rocky ledges on the shore. But Chris is the most fearless man I have ever known, and his ability to remain calm and think clearly during a crisis is truly amazing. This is why he was able to save me from drowning, and to also save us both, when he was able to spot the only place on a two mile long shoreline, where we could get out of the water without being killed by the storm surf crashing us against the big rocks and ledges.

Chris had the presence of mind to not swim too close to the shoreline while looking for a safe place for us come in, since he knew that we could be suddenly swept into the surf zone and dashed against the rocks. But this meant that he had to keep us on the surface at least two hundred yards off shore, which made it that much harder for him to see where we could safely come in. We were also getting repeatedly buried by big waves rolling over us, which made it even more difficult for Chris to locate a safe shore exit.

Time was also working against us, because I was getting very cold to the point of going into hypothermia, and I was also breathing from Chris’s air supply using his alternate regulator, since my own tank was empty. Even though we were on the surface, we had to breathe through our regulators, because using our snorkels would have been almost impossible with the big waves rolling over us.

But in spite of all this, Chris stayed calm and focused while he held firmly onto my left arm and repeatedly kicked his fins hard enough to rise up above the crests of the waves and see the shoreline. He was able to spot a small thirty foot wide round stone beach in between two large ledges, and he knew as soon as he saw it, that this was our best hope of getting out of the water alive. But he still waited long enough to watch and time the wave sets, so he knew when to swim in for the beach while we were in between the biggest of the waves.

He looked at me and yelled “We’re going in right now, so swim as hard as you can!” With his right arm tightly held onto my left arm, we both kicked our fins hard for the shore, and as soon as our knees were on the submerged round stones of the beach, Chris grabbed me and dragged me out of the water, and he didn’t stop until we were far enough away to be out of range from the big waves racing in behind us. It was a near perfect text book diving emergency rescue, and obviously Chris made a very big impression on me that day, because we’ve been together ever since.

Maybe we really should move to a tropical diving paradise in the Caribbean, where Chris and I could go diving together every day. This would not only be a wonderful experience, but also a way to give Chris less time to do the really stupid and dangerous shit that he does, when he’s not scuba diving. ;-)

 

Posted in Adventure, Humor, Personal, Scuba Diving | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Lovely Miss Lindsey

I’ve been suffering from a very long and debilitating bout with chronic insomnia since before the end of the holiday season. But last night I was finally so exhausted that I fell into a deep sleep as soon as I got into bed.

After sleeping for almost 12 hours, today I feel like a new man!

I’ve gone from feeling like this guy here…

keith_richards_1 mod 3

 

 

To feeling like this guy instead! :-)

superman mod 1

 

 

But I’m really glad that I’m nothing like this guy!

lindseygraham 1st

US Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, who I think looks a lot like a late middle aged lesbian in drag.

 

And I’m not the first person to have a similar impression of Senator Graham.

1 - Gay-GOP-Hypocrites

While it’s true that I do have some photo-shopping skills, this level of talent is just way beyond my own humble abilities, and I found this one on Google Images.

 

The credit or blame for this one belongs to the folks at “Destino.net” and they signed their work.

2 - LG 02-12

 

Graham is a 58 year old life long bachelor, who has also frequently spoken out against gay rights and opposed gay rights legislation. Which for a Republican male politician, is an even more telling sign that he may be living in the queer closet, than being a life long bachelor.

Republicans are well known for publicly condemning other people for doing things, while secretly doing the same things themselves. Republican Senators and Congressmen have promoted and voted for legislation against doing the very same things that they are also secretly doing, and have been doing in secret for years.

Here are five bright and shining examples of this kind of Republican hypocrisy:

Mark Foley

U.S. Representative
(September 28, 2006)

The Crime: Sending sexually laced, grammatically challenged instant messages and e-mails to teenaged boys in the Congressional page program for more than 10 years.

The Hypocrisy: Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children. One of the foremost opponents of child pornography in the Senate.

The Quote: “get a ruler and measure it for me”

 

Ted Haggard

Leader of the National Association of Evangelicals
(November 2006)

The Crime: Paying male prostitutes for sex and snorting crystal meth.

The Hypocrisy: A powerful force in the evangelical movement, Haggard participated in weekly meetings with President George Bush and top advisers where he gave spiritual advice. He taught that homosexuality was an abomination and actively lobbied against gay rights.

The Quote: “I did not have a homosexual relationship with a man in Denver.”

.

Larry Craig

U.S. Senator
Senate Liason for Mitt Romney’s Presidential Campaign

(June 11, 2007)

The Crime: Soliciting sex from an undercover cop in an airport bathroom

The Hypocrisy: Craig twice voted against adding the words “sexual orientation” to the federal hate crimes law. Craig also voted to give states the right to refuse to recognize gay marriage–a right they already had, but the Senator wanted to really, really prove he didn’t like gay people.

The Quote: “I am not gay, I don’t do these kinds of things.”

 

Bob Allen

Member of the Florida House of Representatives
Florida Chairman of John McCain’s Presidential Campaign

(July 11, 2007)

The Crime: Offering an undercover cop $20 to allow Allen to blow him in a men’s room in a public park. After being arrested, Allen tried to explain that he only offered to blow the cop because the cop was a “burly black man” and he “didn’t want to become a statistic.”

The Hypocrisy: Allen was one of 21 Florida legislators to sign Gov. Jeb Bush’s friend-of-the-court brief supporting the state’s ban on gays adopting children, and he co-sponsored an unsuccessful bill that would have enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts” such as indecent exposure.

The Quote: “I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it.”

 

Glenn Murphy Jr.

National Chairman of the Young Republicans
Chairman of the Clark County Republican Party

(July 28, 2007)

The Crime: Murphy got a fellow Young Republican drunk and then spent the night at his house. The other young man woke up in the middle of the night to find Murphy giving him mouth-to-penis resuscitation. After this incident, a 1998 sexual battery report came to light in which Murphy was alleged to have done the exact same thing.

The Hypocrisy: Murphy was a well-paid political consultant for Republican candidates and often advised them to use gay marriage as a wedge issue to paint their opponents as out of touch with traditional values.

The Quote: “I was in the Sound of Music in High School…don’t ask” (from his now-defunct Myspace page.)

All of the above examples are from this link:

http://badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/

 

I know that the Democrats are not squeaky clean either, but when it comes to being outspoken activists and legislators against the same behavior in others, that these same activists and legislators are secretly engaging in themselves, the Democrats look like lightweight amateurs compared to the Republicans, who often look like the Heavyweight Champions of Hypocrisy.

 

But let’s talk more about the lovely Miss Lindsey, and I don’t mean Lohan…

 

Lovely Lindsey 1

The above work of art is courtesy of a website called Free Republic which enthusiastically calls itself “The Premier Conservative Site on the Net!” It’s also a favorite place online for members of the Tea Party to vent their hatefully toxic world views and reenforce each others delusions.

 

This online art work has gone viral on Tea Party websites all over the internet, and is usually seen along with enthusiastic praise for Nancy Mace, a Tea Party candidate who is challenging Graham in the South Carolina Republican primary.

3 - Lindsey Tea Party

Ms. Mace endeared herself to Tea Party members by calling the Republican Senator a “Nancy Boy” on Twitter. “Nancy boy” is an early 20th century term, often considered derogatory, for an effeminate or homosexual man.

 

Here’s a screen shot that is similar to what’s currently on many pro Tea Party websites.

Last Resist 2

 

If you actually want to visit this website yourself, then here’s the link:

http://lastresistance.com/2936/nancy-mace-down-with-lindsey-graham/

The truth is that unlike Republican social conservatives and Tea Party members, I don’t really care if Lindsey Graham is gay, and it wouldn’t bother me in the least if he is. It doesn’t bother me if anyone is gay, or if I find out that someone is gay, after previously thinking he or she was straight.

Okay, it would probably bother me if I found out my wife is gay. But I don’t think that’s ever gonna happen, because after over 23 years of marriage I still haven’t driven her to it. Lol ;-)

What really bothers me about Lindsey Graham is not that he looks like a lesbian in drag, but that he’s a complete and total asshole for something he’s done recently, that’s potentially even worse than the other reprehensible things he’s done before while in the US Senate.

What am I talking about? This is what I’m talking about:

The following is an excerpt from a report posted online by Reuters this past Monday, January 13th.

(Reuters) – “Big powers and Iran are likely to start talks on a final settlement to the long dispute over its nuclear ambitions in February, shortly after a six-month deal curbing its atomic activity takes effect, a diplomatic source said on Monday.

If successful, the next round of negotiations could head off the risk of lingering mistrust spiraling out of control into a wider Middle East war over the Islamic republic’s nuclear program.”

The full report can be read via this link:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/01/13/us-iran-nuclear-negotiations-idUSBREA0C0L920140113

Because vitally important diplomatic progress is being made to stop Iran from becoming a nuclear armed threat in the Middle East, without the US and/or Israel having to go to war against Iran, the Obama administration is urging the Senate to not vote on the Menendez-Kirk Iran bill. The bill would impose new sanctions on Iran at the worst possible time, with a very high probability of ruining the diplomatic progress being made with Iran.

According to a report posted online on January 14th in The Daily Beast “The Senate is stalling on bringing new Iran sanctions legislation to a vote following another diplomatic breakthrough, but pro-sanctions Senators say the House may not wait to pass the bill that the White House says could kill the talks and lead to war.”

In the same report “Sen. Lindsey Graham told The Daily Beast Tuesday he was working with (Eric) Cantor to bring up the Menendez-Kirk bill in the House, where it will surely pass, as a way to pressure (Sen. Harry) Reid to act.”

Graham is quoted in the report as saying “I am thinking of a House-first strategy. We control the House, so I believe if we don’t get any movement from our Democratic colleagues over here, I would suggest the House take up this bill. I’m talking to Cantor.”

I’m saying here, right now, that I don’t care if Sen. Lindsey Graham gets a hard on for other men.

But I absolutely do care about that fact that Graham has had a hard on for a war with Iran for a long time now, and I’m absolutely furious that he is apparently willing to do whatever it takes to start a war with Iran.

The Lovely Miss Lindsey, along with his Republican National Wrecking Crew buddies, is even willing to resort to a despicable strategy of using the US House of Representatives as a way to sabotage the current diplomatic progress that could avoid a war with Iran.

And that is what really pisses me off!!!

********************************************************************

Link for the full report from The Daily Beast: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/14/iran-sanctions-battle-heats-up.html

 

Posted in Humor, Personal, Politics | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

Happy Friday After Thanksgiving! :-)

Happy Friday After Turkey Day, my friends and followers here in the World of WordPress!!! :-) I hope it was a very good or least “relatively” tolerable holiday for you and yours…

Here’s an interesting fact that I’ll bet very few people know about the history of the Apollo Space Program, unless you’re as much of a History/Science Channel junkie as I am.

The company that submitted the design approved by NASA for the spacesuits worn by the Apollo astronauts who walked on the surface of the moon, was called ILC which stood for “International Latex Corporation”. But ILC had a division with a much higher brand name recognition for most women, called “Playtex”.

Yes, it really is a historical fact that the same company that designed and produced the Playtex Living Bra for women… 

Playtex Living Bra

 

Also designed and produced this form of apparel for men.

Spacesuit LG

Although it’s true that another company called “Hamilton Standard” designed and produced the lunar life support system for the Apollo astronauts, the lunar spacesuit itself was designed and produced by the parent corporation of Playtex, and was the winner of a competitive bid in which three different contractors submitted lunar spacesuit designs to NASA.

International Latex Corp won the contract with NASA because their lunar spacesuit was less bulky and much more flexible than the other two lunar spacesuits designed by the competition, and ILC’s spacesuit gave Apollo astronauts more freedom of movement. Because ILC’s Playtex division had many years of experience designing and producing smooth fitting and flexible undergarments for women, this gave ILC the competitive edge needed to create a better lunar spacesuit design than their competitors.

Many of the same seamstresses who sewed together Playtex bras and girdles for women, were given the new assignment of working on fabricating the Apollo lunar spacesuits. Quality control was extremely rigorous because each lunar spacesuit had to be completely sealed air tight and 100 percent leak proof while worn in a vacuum. Any leaks in the internally pressurized lunar spacesuit would be fatal to an Apollo astronaut while on the surface of the moon, out in the airless vacuum of the lunar environment, if his spacesuit became depressurized because of a leak.

But during the Apollo moon missions, a total of twelve astronauts walked on the surface of the moon wearing the spacesuits designed and produced by the company that was able to create the best design, in large part because of its experience designing Playtex bras and girdles for women, and there were never any catastrophic leaks in the spacesuits during the Apollo program.

Neil Armstrong, who was the very first human to set foot on the moon in July of 1969…

Astronaut-Neil-Armstrong-1930-2012

wore a size 36C – which is the same size as my wife’s, but I still like hers a lot better. ;-)

And that is today’s seemingly improbable but absolutely true historical fact, revealed to you here on Word Play – A Place For Pleasurable Procrastination, but also occasionally A Place For Unusual Space Exploration Information.

 

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A Funny Thing Happened…

A couple nights ago, a funny thing happened on my way to becoming a 57 year old, frequently humorless, mean and bitter old man long before my time. I saw another guy who is now 76 years old, and although he still has more talent for being funny in his little finger than I’ve ever had on my very best day or night, in all of my entire life, as I watched him the other night on Comedy Central, I could sense an undercurrent of bitterness in his comedy act, which wasn’t nearly as funny as his comedy has been in years past.

I’m talking about Bill Cosby performing in his first “stand up” comedy special in 30 years, called “Far From Finished”. If you like Bill Cosby’s humor, then please watch his new comedy special, and maybe you’ll enjoy it more than I did. Maybe it’s just me, and you won’t sense that undercurrent of bitterness that I felt coming from Cosby, as I watched him perform.

Last night, also on Comedy Central, I watched Bill Cosby performing in his comedy special from 1983 called “Bill Cosby: Himself”. I nearly died laughing back in 1983 when I watched Cosby performing in that special the first time, and I was literally rolling on the floor and laughing so hard that I was having trouble breathing.

I watched the same Cosby comedy special for the second time 20 years later in 2003, under unusual and very unexpected circumstances, while lost at sea… Okay, so I wasn’t really lost at sea; it just felt like my wife and I were lost at sea on the way back from Yarmouth Nova Scotia to Bar Harbor Maine while on board “The Cat”.

To briefly explain, “The Cat” was a 319 foot long high speed catamaran ferry boat with a top speed of over 40 knots, and able to cruise across the Gulf of Maine from Bar Harbor Maine to Yarmouth Nova Scotia in 2 -1/2 hours. More conventional ferry boats took six hours to make the same crossing. But soon after my wife and I were on board “The Cat” and returning from Yarmouth Nova Scotia to Bar Harbor Maine, leaving at around 8:30 PM that night, we and the rest of the passengers on board were told that three out of four of The Cat’s big diesel engines had stopped working, and with The Cat running on only 1/4th of it’s normal power, the trip back to Bar Harbor was going to take somewhat longer than usual. But we were not told how much longer…

In fact, the return voyage took 5 -1/2 hours, and we got back to Bar Harbor at 2:00 AM in the morning. It was a very looonnng night, and it seemed that much longer because we had no idea when we would get back to Bar Harbor, so we could only wait and wonder.

The Cat Ferry“The Cat” – A great ride with all four engines running full speed ahead, but not so great with only one engine working…

To help passengers deal with their very long night of boredom, the crew was showing movies in the cafeteria, and I found myself watching a computer animated kids movie called “Antz” which although it wasn’t the type of movie that I’d choose to watch, I liked it more than I thought I would, and hey, it took an hour and a half off the tedium clock.

But I was absolutely delighted when the next movie to play after “Antz” was “Bill Cosby: Himself” which seemed like a God send to me under the circumstances, and watching Cosby do his stand up comedy act was just as hilariously funny for me that night, as it was 20 years earlier when I saw him doing it the first time in 1983.

Last night, when I watched “Bill Cosby: Himself” on Comedy Central, I was laughing out loud again, and most of all, at Cosby’s 1983 comic riff on a visit to the dentist. Here’s that part of Cosby’s act, courtesy of YouTube.

If you like Bill Cosby, you’ve probably seen it before, but if you’re like me, and it’s been over ten years since the last time you watched this, you’ll enjoy seeing it again.

I do realize it’s not fair to negatively compare Bill Cosby’s current comedy special in 2013, that he performed at the age of 76 years old, with the show he did in 1983 at the relatively young age of 46 years old.

But more important for me personally, watching Cosby’s current show and then watching his 1983 show, got me thinking about how in the last year or so, I had allowed myself to lose much of my own sense of humor, by giving in to being frequently angry and bitter about my own personal problems, and also the deteriorating political state of our country, the constant dumbing down of popular culture in our society, and our increasingly unstable and dangerous global climate, which the human race still refuses to take seriously enough to do much of anything about, that will make a genuine difference.

All that anyone needs to do to see a glaring example of what happened to me in the last year or so, is to just look at three out of the last four previous posts here in this blog, in which humor is all but nonexistent and replaced with angry rants. The only exception to the angry rant content in three of my last four previous posts here on Word Play, is a post called “My Lover Who Loves The Magic of Light” which is really a love letter written to my wife.

So after watching Bill Cosby in 2013 at 76 years old, and then watching his 1983 show again last night, I asked myself a very direct question:

Am I happy being an almost 57 year old frequently humorless, mean and bitter old man long before my time?

I was able to almost instantly answer that very direct question I asked myself, with a very direct answer of ‘Hell NO!!! I am NOT happy at all this way, and I need to change the direction of my own state of mind right now, or become even more unhappy than I already am!!!’

Which is why this blog is getting out of the angry rant business right now and returning to it’s original purpose of being ‘A Place For Pleasurable Procrastination’ again. (within reason)

I’ll wrap this one up with a story about another favorite stand up comedian of mine, Richard Pryor, who’s style was somewhat “different” from that of Bill Cosby, and how one night his stand up comedy movie on HBO created a ridiculously awkward situation involving me, and both of my parents.

This happened back in 1984 after I had just moved out from living with my first wife, who was soon to become my ex-wife after almost six years of a marriage that to this day, often makes me think of the first line from Dickens’ classic “A Tale of Two Cities” which begins with the phrase “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” since that is an excellent summation of my first marriage.

Anyway, I was temporarily living with my parents in 1984 after leaving my first wife, and my parents were out for the evening, so I was watching Richard Pryor’s 1971 stand up comedy movie called “Live and Smokin’ “on HBO. Anyone familiar with Richard Pryor’s stand up comedy knows that Pryor used to drop more F-Bombs during his act than the Germans dropped bombs on England during The Battle of Britain in WWII. But the guy was also a comic genius in my opinion, so his constant rain of F-bombs didn’t bother me, because I knew that he wasn’t doing it just for shock value to try and support weak material like some stand up comics are guilty of doing.

But about 15 minutes into the Richard Pryor movie, my parents came home unexpectedly early, which was awkward because I knew that both my mother and father did not appreciate listening to a steady stream of profanity. But since I was watching the Pryor movie downstairs in the finished side of the basement in my parents’ home, I didn’t change the channel when I heard my parents come home. I was 28 years old at the time, and it seemed ridiculous to me at that point in my life, to automatically bail out of the Pryor movie like an 18 year old kid who was freaked out by Mom and Dad coming home early and catching him watching a movie with lots of profanity in it. So I turned the volume down slightly lower, and if either of them complained, then I would change the channel.

When my father came downstairs, I fully expected that I was about to be told that the high level of profanity coming from my choice of TV viewing was not acceptable. But then Dad threw me a totally unexpected curve ball, when he sat down in a chair and without a word spoken, he began to watch the Richard Pryor movie with me.

Now I was the one who was feeling really awkward and very uncomfortable, because this was just plain weird! But my father seemed completely relaxed, and very interested in watching Richard Pryor’s stand up comedy act, without any negative reaction at all, to all the F-bombs that Pryor was dropping. But Dad wasn’t laughing at Pryor’s humor, and he seemed more interested in watching Pryor as though he was an interesting study in cultural sociology. But my problem soon became that I felt so weird about watching Richard Pryor with my Dad, who although he was clearly very interested in watching Pryor, he never laughed or even cracked a smile at any of Pryor’s comedy, which made me feel too uncomfortable to be able to enjoy Pryor’s humor enough to laugh at him myself.

Then things got twice as awkward when my mother came downstairs because she was curious to see what my father and I were watching on TV together. Mom lasted less than 10 minutes when the onslaught of Pryor’s profanity drove her back upstairs, and I could tell that she was even more confused than I was, about why my father and her husband seemed fine with watching a TV show with such a steady stream of foul language.

Less than 10 minutes later, I also went upstairs because by that point, I had given up on trying to watch Pryor with my father sitting close by and watching Pryor very closely, but without ever laughing or even smiling at any of Pryor’s stand up comedy act, with the end result being that I couldn’t enjoy watching Pryor’s stand up comedy act with Dad.

So now my Dad was watching Richard Pryor downstairs by himself, and my Mom was upstairs watching another movie far more to her liking on the TV upstairs. Mom’s movie looked somewhat interesting to me, so I sat down to watch it with her. And then things turned totally surreal, when my mother glared at me with an expression of anger mixed with hurt feelings, and she exclaimed “You don’t have to do this, Chris! So just go back downstairs and watch Richard Pryor with your father!”

But instead I went up to my room and read a book, so my Dad was the only one in the house that night who watched almost all of Richard Pryor: Live and Smokin’ right to the very end.

Less than 10 days later, I moved out of my parents’ house and into an apartment with a single guy who was a good friend of mine. Because by then I knew for sure that 28 years old is just too old for a guy to be living at home with his parents, and most of all, when his Dad inexplicably wants to watch Richard Pryor with him, and then his mother gets upset when he doesn’t… Yep, definitely time to get out of Dodge!

 

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Meaningless E-Mail Message

This is a totally meaningless e-mail message intended to cause mindless yahoo software to think that I’m currently using this yahoo e-mail account for any reasons beyond only using this yahoo account as a requirement for keeping my Flickr photograph page active.

I’m also very interested in spending a lot of money this Christmas to shop online and buy very expensive stainless steel bras, solid brass negligees, titanium thongs and other highly radioactive lingerie for every player on the NFL football New York Giants team roster.

Shove those keywords up your inhuman, non living software ass for advertising spam, yahoo!!!

Very Contemptuously Yours,

Chris Sheridan

 

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Very Safe Sex

 

 

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Maine_Coon_Kittens

Twin Boiled Kittens!!! They’re what’s for dinner at our house tonight! Yum!!!

 

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