Happy Friday After Turkey Day, my friends and followers here in the World of WordPress!!! :-) I hope it was a very good or least “relatively” tolerable holiday for you and yours…
Here’s an interesting fact that I’ll bet very few people know about the history of the Apollo Space Program, unless you’re as much of a History/Science Channel junkie as I am.
The company that submitted the design approved by NASA for the spacesuits worn by the Apollo astronauts who walked on the surface of the moon, was called ILC which stood for “International Latex Corporation”. But ILC had a division with a much higher brand name recognition for most women, called “Playtex”.
Yes, it really is a historical fact that the same company that designed and produced the Playtex Living Bra for women…
Also designed and produced this form of apparel for men.
Although it’s true that another company called “Hamilton Standard” designed and produced the lunar life support system for the Apollo astronauts, the lunar spacesuit itself was designed and produced by the parent corporation of Playtex, and was the winner of a competitive bid in which three different contractors submitted lunar spacesuit designs to NASA.
International Latex Corp won the contract with NASA because their lunar spacesuit was less bulky and much more flexible than the other two lunar spacesuits designed by the competition, and ILC’s spacesuit gave Apollo astronauts more freedom of movement. Because ILC’s Playtex division had many years of experience designing and producing smooth fitting and flexible undergarments for women, this gave ILC the competitive edge needed to create a better lunar spacesuit design than their competitors.
Many of the same seamstresses who sewed together Playtex bras and girdles for women, were given the new assignment of working on fabricating the Apollo lunar spacesuits. Quality control was extremely rigorous because each lunar spacesuit had to be completely sealed air tight and 100 percent leak proof while worn in a vacuum. Any leaks in the internally pressurized lunar spacesuit would be fatal to an Apollo astronaut while on the surface of the moon, out in the airless vacuum of the lunar environment, if his spacesuit became depressurized because of a leak.
But during the Apollo moon missions, a total of twelve astronauts walked on the surface of the moon wearing the spacesuits designed and produced by the company that was able to create the best design, in large part because of its experience designing Playtex bras and girdles for women, and there were never any catastrophic leaks in the spacesuits during the Apollo program.
And that is today’s seemingly improbable but absolutely true historical fact, revealed to you here on Word Play – A Place For Pleasurable Procrastination, but also occasionally A Place For Unusual Space Exploration Information.
Neil Armstrong, who was the very first human to set foot on the moon in July of 1969…
wore a size 36C – which is the same size as my wife’s, but I still like hers a lot better. ;-)
Oh, cummon Jean! Turn around!
That’s better. :-)
Speaking of my wife, some of you may remember that she works as a photography editor for a company that sells the commercial use rights for photographs to both print and online media. Late this Spring, she was on a business trip to New York City to meet with some of her clients. Soon after she came home, I found a business card on the floor of our bedroom, and my eyes kinda popped when I picked up the business card and saw who it belonged to…
Of course I immediately showed Jean what I had found, and while wearing a wise assed smirk on my face, I asked her if the card was hers, since I sure as hell knew that it wasn’t mine.
She quickly snatched the business card away from me, as she told me that yes, it was one of the business cards she had been given while she was meeting clients in NYC. My bemused smile grew broader as I asked my wife if she was actually doing business with Playboy, and that if she was, well I had a few questions for her, and I’d be very interested to hear her answers.
1. How come she never told me that the Senior Photography Editor for “Entertainment” at Playboy Magazine is one of her customers?
2. Is she doing a lot of business with Playboy?
3. And if she is doing a lot of business with Playboy, could I please see the portfolio of photos that she has sold the usage rights for, to Playboy?
Jean tried to answer my first question by telling me that she’d already told me before, that Playboy Magazine was one of her clients, to which I immediately responded by exclaiming “No WAY you already told me that, Jean! Cause that’s just something I wouldn’t forget!”
Jean shot me back a look of exasperation as she quickly admitted that No, she probably hadn’t told me, and the reason why she hadn’t told me, was because she knew that if she did, I’d start to act exactly the way that I was already acting right now. I’d tease her about it, and then I’d start acting like a 16 year old horny guy in high school!
Undeterred by her sharply critical but admittedly accurate reply, I quickly asked her “Well, then can I see that portfolio now? Because I know you’ve either got it right here at home on your Mac laptop, or you’ve got access to it on your company’s website.
Jean glared back at me as she exclaimed “Why don’t you just go look at Playboy Online? It’s not like I’m your one and only source for Playboy photos, and you’ll never get to see any if I don’t show you mine!”
I laughed loudly as I quickly answered back “No, but you are my one and only source for Playboy Magazine photos, who is also my one and only wife, and that just puts the entire issue in a whole new and very different light for me, Jean. In it’s own unique and very unexpected way, it’s kinda Hot for me to know that my professional photo editor wife is selling usage rights for photos to Playboy. So cummon and show me what ya got, Babe. I’ll even make it worth your while, by doing something for you in a very special way that I know you’ll never forget, because you’ll enjoy it so much.” I told her, my voice low and deeper after inhaling deeply, then exhaling slowly, as I smiled at her with a mischievous grin and a brightly hot twinkle in my eye.
Jean stared very directly back at me, as she replied “Okay, so if I go ahead and show ya what I got… does this mean that you’ll vacuum all the carpets and scrub the kitchen floor? Because now that would make it worth my while in a way that I’d really enjoy, Chris… So are you man enough to give me what I really want? Huh, Chris?”
I smiled back at her, as I answered “I think that’s an arrangement I could work with… even though it wasn’t what I had in mind. But maybe you’ll be all the more inclined to really want what I originally had in mind, after I do all that for you. So yeah, I think it’s “showtime” right now Babe, cause you’ve got yourself a deal. So let’s get a move on it here, and get things moving with your end of the bargain.”
I should have known as soon as I saw that very subtle but still obvious self satisfied little closed lipped smile on her face, that I’d been had… Oh, she had lots of photos to show me that she’d spent many hours selecting for Playboy Magazine, and then selling Playboy the commercial usage rights for…
But none of those photos looked anything like this:
In fact, almost all of the photographs that my wife had selected and then sold the commercial use rights for to Playboy… were pictures of men!!! Guys that were cowboys riding bulls at rodeos… Guys that were race car drivers in NASCAR races… Guys who were playing professional baseball and football… Guys drinking beer and grilling lots of meat at tailgate parties in the parking lot of a football stadium before the big game. Guys out on a boat sport fishing… Lots of Guys! Then More Guys!! And then even MORE F’ing GUYS!!!
Now it was my wife’s turn to laugh, and believe me when I tell you that she made the most of it!!! She was laughing so hard that she was starting to cry! But her tears were caused by her hilarious laughter at me, and when she finally calmed down enough to speak, her words were a well aimed shot that scored a direct hit on my humiliating disappointment.
Her smile was a mile wide as she looked at me with devilish female delight and exclaimed “Hey Chris! So after all those issues of Playboy that you’ve looked at for so many years, did you really never notice how on the cover of Playboy in the upper right hand corner, it says ‘Entertainment for Men’ ??? And see, that’s why they come to me, Chris! They come to me for pictures of men who are engaged in manly forms of entertainment for men, that often doesn’t even include women at all!”
Jean laughed again, her eyes brightly dancing and sparkling with her hilarious delight, as she continued “Did you really think that Playboy Magazine would need me as a source for photos of hot naked babes? They’ve got lots of their own photographers to take those types of photos, and Chris, you of all people, should know that!“
My ears burned as my face turned red, because I knew that what my wife had just said was just as perfectly logical, as much as I was completely nonsensical to ever think that even if my wife had Playboy Magazine for a client, she would have a big portfolio of naked Playmate photos of Ms. January through December, and an extensive nude pictorial of “The Girls of The Universities of California.”
There was only one thing left for me to do at that point, and that was to get up and start vacuuming!!! Because I was all too aware of the fact that I had missed the full meaning of all the ways that Playboy was “Entertainment for Men” when I became the guy who was hilarious entertainment for my wife! And probably for lots of other women too, soon after I hit “Publish” for this post.