I’m sitting here wearing a satisfied smile, because once again, I have proven my intellectual superiority to spell check.
Yes, that false master of properly spelled vocabulary, Microsoft Word Spell Check, tried to tell me that my title for today’s post, Ridiculosity, isn’t really a proper English word. Well sorry MS WSC, but www.merriam-webster.com has proven you to be a liar and a fool once again. You, spell check, are an example of ridiculosity because you go around trying to correct everyone’s spelling mistakes, without the proper command of an adequate vocabulary.
Of course when you often fail us the most grievously, it isn’t due to your deficient vocabulary, but your often complete ignorance of the proper context for words in a sentence. When I was writing that love poem to my wife, and I described her “beautiful and perfectly formed beasts” did your red underline save me then? Huh? NO!!! You let that one slide right on through, didn’t you, spell check! Much to my humiliation and her amusement, you treacherous imposter!!!
Now just because I’m smarter than spell check, I don’t expect any wild cheering to break out, or to have a big party thrown in my honor, and then a statue unveiled for posterity to admire for the next 100 years. Hmm… posterity. Now there’s one of those words that I find interesting. It reminds me of another word – posterior, which means located behind… Posterior can also mean your behind, which makes sense, since your ass is always located behind you, and it’s always following the front of you, or your anterior.
So if two guys get into a horse costume, one will be the front of the horse, or the anterior, and the other will be the back end of the horse, or the posterior. So in this example, posterior really means “horse’s ass” and again, located behind the horse’s head… Kinda like the number one and two finishers in the Ohio Republican primary last night.
Mitt Romney finished out in front, and won a race in which he was just barely able to get his anterior ahead of his posterior. But it wasn’t until very early this morning that Romney knew for sure, whether he was a horse’s head, or a horse’s ass.
But Rick Santorum will always be a horse’s ass, no matter what place he finishes in.
Now, going back to my original word posterity, which means all future generations, it could be said that “a statue could be unveiled for all future horse’s asses to admire, for the next 100 years.” Which would be a fitting tribute to all the candidates in the 2012 Republican primaries, both those who have dropped out of the race, and those who are still in the race, but don’t know yet whether they are a horse’s head or a horse’s ass.
Somebody is going to win the Republican nomination, and even though right now, we don’t know who it will be, you can be sure that even if they finish out in front, they’ll still deserve this award, after doing so much to deserve it. Because I’ve never seen so much Ridiculosity in American politics in all my life.