Ridiculosity

I’m sitting here wearing a satisfied smile, because once again, I have proven my intellectual superiority to spell check.

Yes, that false master of properly spelled vocabulary, Microsoft Word Spell Check, tried to tell me that my title for today’s post, Ridiculosity, isn’t really a proper English word. Well sorry MS WSC, but www.merriam-webster.com has proven you to be a liar and a fool once again. You, spell check, are an example of ridiculosity because you go around trying to correct everyone’s spelling mistakes, without the proper command of an adequate vocabulary.

Of course when you often fail us the most grievously, it isn’t due to your deficient vocabulary, but your often complete ignorance of the proper context for words in a sentence. When I was writing that love poem to my wife, and I described her “beautiful and perfectly formed beasts” did your red underline save me then? Huh? NO!!! You let that one slide right on through, didn’t you, spell check! Much to my humiliation and her amusement, you treacherous imposter!!!

Now just because I’m smarter than spell check, I don’t expect any wild cheering to break out, or to have a big party thrown in my honor, and then a statue unveiled for posterity to admire for the next 100 years. Hmm… posterity. Now there’s one of those words that I find interesting. It reminds me of another word – posterior, which means located behind… Posterior can also mean your behind, which makes sense, since your ass is always located behind you, and it’s always following the front of you, or your anterior.

So if two guys get into a horse costume, one will be the front of the horse, or the anterior, and the other will be the back end of the horse, or the posterior. So in this example, posterior really means “horse’s ass” and again, located behind the horse’s head… Kinda like the number one and two finishers in the Ohio Republican primary last night.

Mitt Romney finished out in front, and won a race in which he was just barely able to get his anterior ahead of his posterior. But it wasn’t until very early this morning that Romney knew for sure, whether he was a horse’s head, or a horse’s ass.

But Rick Santorum will always be a horse’s ass, no matter what place he finishes in.

Now, going back to my original word posterity, which means all future generations, it could be said that “a statue could be unveiled for all future horse’s asses to admire, for the next 100 years.” Which would be a fitting tribute to all the candidates in the 2012 Republican primaries, both those who have dropped out of the race, and those who are still in the race, but don’t know yet whether they are a horse’s head or a horse’s ass.

Somebody is going to win the Republican nomination, and even though right now, we don’t know who it will be, you can be sure that even if they finish out in front, they’ll still deserve this award, after doing so much to deserve it. Because I’ve never seen so much Ridiculosity in American politics in all my life.

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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12 Responses to Ridiculosity

  1. xdeviantonex says:

    At this point with all the idiots wanting to be president, I cannot help but think “Is it too late to go back to a monarchy?”. lol

  2. LOL… I have my own issues with spell-check too. And LOVE the trophy. All the GOP candidates deserve one.

    • Yeah, spell-check left unchecked can make fools of any of us, so vigilant proof reading is always our best defense. Thanks on the trophy, and yes I think they do all deserve one. Although now I’m thinking that the guy who’s first name rhymes with shit, might deserve this award even more:

      Because almost every time he attempts to speak clearly, all that’s clear is that he’s got his anterior stuck way up his posterior.

  3. I, too, am smarter than Spell Check. I try to ALWAYS proofread everything that I do. Of course, the Word Police are watching! http://wp.me/p1se8R-Pb

    I’ve lost all interest in the Republican primaries. At this point, I don’t care which one of these radical nutjobs loses to President Obama in November.

    • Hey, thanks for the link to your post, and hopefully you won’t be coming after me, after reading my comment about it! Lol
      While I agree with your assessment, I have to admit that I’m still interested in the Republican primaries. To roughly paraphrase some Elvis Costello lyrics:

      Oh I used to be disgusted
      But now I find myself to be amused
      Since the GOP got busted,
      for all the women’s rights they’ve abused,
      And now I know all these suckers are gonna lose!
      Gonna lose! Gonna lose! These suckers are gonna lose!
      Can’t call all the women sluts unless you’re really nuts,
      And now we know you’re all gonna lose!

  4. benzeknees says:

    I feel so left out just now with everybody moaning about the presidential elections. Sniff . . . I, for one, will be glad when November is over & done with & “we can return to our regularly scheduled “blogging!

    • Hey, look at the bright side! At least our presidential erections come only once every four years! ;-)

      • benzeknees says:

        That’s 4 years too soon! Why can’t you guys just elect a person (I almost said guy, but it’s International Women’s Day so that would be totally inappropriate) for 8 years (most of them get 2 terms anyway) & if he stinks then impeach him earlier – you’re interfering in my fun!

        • No no no no!!! Automatically letting one of these potential bozos have an eight year term could be very hazardous to our national health, because we the American people are capable of electing almost anyone president! Just recently, some people were actually taking Donald Trump seriously as a presidential candidate!!!
          And your “impeach him earlier” idea sounds too much like reverting back to a parliamentary form of government. We can’t do that! The ghost of King George the Third would show up regularly to laugh at us!!!

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