Bossman Blues

Ugh… Head is lost in heavy fog and coffee slow to rescue me. Work is really breaking my balls this morning – nothing going right. Feel like going home – feel like going back to bed. Doesn’t matter what I feel like, cause I’m stuck here…

My boss is an asshole. There’s just no denying it. He’s a walking talking case of “Little Man Blues”. He isn’t just short, he’s also small. Small minded and shallow with a little man ego that he over-inflates, to compensate for lots of raging insecurities that he’d never admit to, so instead he puffs himself way up to look much bigger. He’s mean and as vicious as a weasel, with 48 years worth of frustration combined with a two year old’s emotional level of self control.

He doesn’t really look like this, but it’s still a good likeness.

So boss, this one’s for you:

I don’t feel like goin’ to work today!
The bossman’s a pig, he makes me want to dump this gig!
And I don’t wanna work today!

He tells me “get this done by noon!”
I say but man it’s already quarter to one!
He yells “then get it done soon!
Or the next time you see me comin’, you better run!”
Aaughhh I just don’t wanna work today!!!

All he knows how to do is rant!
He doesn’t have the common sense God gave an ant!
He bellows like a bull and his face turns red
Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead!
Than goin’ to work today!

I don’t wanna go to work today!
The bossman’s a tool
He doesn’t follow his own rules!
But he lashes his whip at the rest of us fools!
Sometimes I think I’d rather live on the moon!
This guy has an ego the size of China
But it’s as fragile… as a balloon!
And I don’t wanna go to work today!!!

I said “Man why don’t you just chill?
You’d be much happier that way.”
He just gave me a look that could kill
And said “I think you’d better get away
Before I do something to give me a thrill
It would really make my day!”
Aaughhh why did I go to work today!!!

So how come the assholes are the ones who rise to the top?
This madness has gotta stop!
He lives in a state of frustration
And his specialty is character assassination
I’ve seen him drive other men mad
And then he laughs about it, the next day!
It’s worse than pathetic and sad!
And I just ain’t going to work today!!!

(Insert furious harmonica solo here)

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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6 Responses to Bossman Blues

  1. One of my favorite all time tweets is, “The only thing on my ‘bucket list’ is to get up too early and work a job I hate until I die”. Not only is it MONDAY, it was an hour earliere getting here. GREAT post!
    PKC

    • Thanks PKC. I’m sure that it being Monday combined with losing an hour’s sleep has something to do with the state I’m in right now. I wish I was in another state – like maybe Montana…

  2. It must be in the air. My Friday was identical.

  3. Furious harmonica music…the mind boggles. Sorry you’re having a shit day (or had, I guess it’ll be over by now?) Go home, pull silly faces at my wife oops your wife, drink some beer and relax. It’s an order ;)

    • Shit day is over, and I’m feeling much better now. Just got back from the gym where I was able to blow off all my frustration with a vigorously intense workout – nothing like some hot anger to really put the muscle into pumping iron. Hitting the shower, and then after dinner I think I’ll get some more exercise chasing “our” wife around the house! Lol ;-)

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