Frankly Scarlet…

Note to WordPress Readers: The following was never intended to be a post here on WP, but is the result of an instant messenger meeting that I was supposed to have with a certain someone who shall forever remain nameless – just as long as she doesn’t do something to piss me off again – like get me to cancel my plans for my Sunday morning, so we could have our IM meeting… and then pull a no show on me.

So, while I waited for this certain someone, I amused myself by having an IM meeting with me and myself, since me and myself hold each other in such high regard – while thinking that my intended contact would show up any minute now…

But “any minute now” turned into many minutes later, and still no appearance from my wayward contact. But I still tried to maintain my good humor by continuing to amuse myself by having a solo chat with me, as I continued to wait, wait, and wait even longer…

Finally, after over an hour later, I’d had enough and bailed out. But then in an impulsive moment, I thought that instead of deleting my solo chat with me and myself, that I’d throw it up here on my blog for better or worse. As to whether it is better or worse, well, Frankly Scarlet, I don’t give a damn… Lol

Awaken thou that sleepest… there’s been a change in plans here.

walkoffwin  ( Mar 31 9:44 AM ) :‎  Maybe if I keep banging on the keys here, you’ll hear me… I’d rather be banging you, but that’s kinda hard to do when you’re not here. Sigh!

walkoffwin  ( Mar 31 9:46 AM ) :‎  Let me guess – you’re not around because you’ve signed up for pole dancing lessons, but first you need to find a pole to jump on! Lol

walkoffwin  ( Mar 31 9:49 AM ) :‎  I’ve got a big pole that I’d love you to jump on – but it might not reach to beyond the other side of the world where you are, cause it’s not quite 11,000 miles long – even when fully erect. Close, but not quite…

walkoffwin  ( Mar 31 9:52 AM ) :‎  And… here we GO again. You keep this up, and you’re gonna give me an abandonment complex – which I hear you can buy pretty cheap these days, since no one can live in the complex until it’s brought up to code.

walkoffwin  ( Mar 31 9:54 AM ) :‎  And the one I have is a fixer upper, but I know that you could fix me upper just real fine. Lol

walkoffwin  ( Mar 31 9:59 AM ) :‎  Wow… why I’m starting to feel the beast beginning to stir down there… and you’re not even here! This could be a BIG first – as in the first time that I’ve ever cybered with myself. But the truth is, that I’ve always been kinda hot for me, so this is an idea for which the time has now come – or shall be cumming soon – unless I’m in the mood to take it nice and slow and easy with me… yeah…. Ohhh… now that does feel real fine. Mmmm…

Stay tuned for previews of coming erections…

walkoffwin  ( Mar 31 10:08 AM ) :‎  So don’t touch that dial! Unless you’ve got some tissue ready in your other hand. Lol ;-)

walkoffwin  ( Mar 31 10:17 AM ) :‎  Wow… this is just sooo intense. Right now, why somehow I feel like I’ve known me all my life. Or maybe I’ve known me in another life… back when I had Windows 98. Bill Gates is a smart guy, but all that monopoly business stunted his marketing skills. I mean, instead of Microsoft, he could have named his business MEGA-HARD! And he also really missed the marketing boat by not coming out with Windows 69 – Voyeurs Edition 8.5″ (Drapes and Blinds not included.) Lol ;-)

Someone was trying to tell me that women are like computers – because the current models don’t accept floppy drives. (Yeah, yeah… let’s see you get up here and do this!) But I’m not so sure about how much women are really like computers – except for that Dell I used to have, that went down more often than a California porn star, but the experience wasn’t nearly as satisfying to watch. It did really suck, but not in a good way.

But now I do know a way that women are definitely not like computers… When you click on a woman’s start button, it usually doesn’t shut her down – unless you’re just really doing it all wrong! But… now if you want to restart your computer OR your woman, that start button is the place to start. After lots of fondling of the software of course – but remember that one night stands, as well as male adolescent owned PCs – may need some debugging, and better safe than sorry, when you don’t know where that software has been…

Just make sure that your mouse (or gerbil?) has the proper skills and technique when clicking start to restart. And if she’s a wild and crazy babe who likes it rough, you can reboot her too! (Don’t forget that your password is her safe word – and if you forget her safe word, well you better remember to retain a good lawyer!

Just hope that she’s happy with going back to all her default settings – cause it’s gonna be all your fault if she isn’t…

Well now isn’t this just the way things tend to go in life! I’ve got some good material again, and here I am playing to an empty room – which normally only happens when my material sucks! Fuckin’ Murphy’s Law fucking around with me again!

walkoffwin  ( Mar 31 10:53 AM ) :‎  Well, this has been… great – as in a great disappointment, and I just want to tell me that I’ve been a beautiful audience tonight, and it’s been a real pleasure to perform for me. I really hope to see me all again, when I’m back in town. Good night every-me!

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
This entry was posted in Humor, Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Frankly Scarlet…

  1. lmao ..

    I once dated a guy who could get me to shut down if he touched my button but we won’t dwell on those dark daze!!

    • Nope – No need to… And hey, congrats on having the rare courage or whatever you’ve got, to actually comment on this particular post! Lol ;-) I thought I was gonna pitch a shut out here – against my own team. Lol

  2. heehee… you said “gerbil”

  3. Pingback: And a big thank you to Nomadic Angel! « butimbeautiful

  4. Hi there, I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, hope you don’t mind – because your blog makes me laugh and think about things a bit! Happy blogging – and if you want to accept the award, please go to http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/and-a-big-thank-you-to-nomadic-angel/ for the Rules, the picture and all that jazz.

  5. OMG! This was fantastic! Truly.

    • Thanks! :-) Left to my own devices, I usually will find some vices to keep me amused. If you are amused too, then all the better, and thanks for stopping by. :-)

      Hey… I was gonna head over your way too – It’s been a crazy day and 10:00 AM is long past. I could use some strong coffee and the relaxation of stimulation, and no, that ain’t no paradox, or even a pair a ducks… Yep, definitely time for coffee with something special added, cuz that last joke was fowl. ;-)

  6. Pingback: Adventures in Chat Part 5 – The Naked Truth! | Word Play

  7. Pingback: Feeling Left Behind and Out in the Cold? This One’s for You. | Word Play

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