I’ve developed this curious habit during the last several days… I keep blogging on other people’s blogs here on WordPress. If you happen to be one of those WP bloggers who’s blog I’ve been blogging on, and I’m starting to really bug ya with it, to the point you start thinking ‘Why doesn’t he just post on his own goddamn blog?!?!’ well I am sincerely sorry, and I’ll try not to do it again.
If you happen to be one of those WP bloggers who’s blog I haven’t been blogging on, and you feel resentful and hurt about it, well drop me an e-mail and we’ll work something out. Other bloggers will think very highly of you for wanting me to blog on your blog, because you will help keep me from blogging on their blogs, and stop bothering them by doing it. Instead of feeling resentful and hurt, you can feel the satisfaction of performing a valuable WP community service; namely that of keeping me away from the other bloggers who are getting sick of me, and my 1,500 word “comments”.
It’s not like I’m a premeditated “blog on other people’s blog” blogger, because I never plan to do it in advance – it just happens… I read a blog that I enjoy, and I go to make a comment, and a thousand or more words later, I’m like ‘Oh shit! I did it again.’ Lately for me, commenting on other folks’ blogs is like lighting a match and getting distracted, then dropping the match into a field of tall dry grass, and soon the whole thing’s on fire! Again. Somebody call the WP Fire Dept so they can put Chris’s out of control comment out!
Another Chris Sheridan blog comment burning out of control!
I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t smoke… I gave up smoking in 1980. Maybe I should give up typing for a while too.
Now I know what a lot of you are thinking. (besides ‘what a self absorbed asshole!’) You are thinking ‘Why don’t you just edit the comment to a more reasonable length, or just delete it altogether, if it gets too long and out of control?’
I think my self editing gene is missing, and I was born without it, or this wouldn’t keep happening. Or maybe I used to have it, but my mind is going and I lost it. Meaning that I lost my editing gene because I’m losing my mind, but maybe I’ve already lost my mind too. I dunno… It does seem to be getting worse, so maybe it is some sort of creeping “serial commenting out of control” dementia. Oh well, I think sanity is overrated anyway. I just don’t want to be a chronic pain in the ass for my fellow bloggers.
Which is why at least I do try to stay on topic with my comments, and I think that I manage to succeed in doing that. I just do it for WAY too long. The content of my comments is not rude or abusive, and sometimes even entertaining, but I think it’s also bad form if I write a comment that is more amusing and entertaining than the blog that I’m commenting on. And it’s really bad form when my comment is longer than the blog I’m commenting on!
But I’m probably just imagining how amusing and entertaining my comments are, in a delusional sort of way. If I substitute the words “annoying and irritating” for “amusing and entertaining” well then I probably just had a brief encounter with reality, and I should try to do that more often.
As far as the idea of just deleting a ridiculously long comment, well why don’t you just ask me to shoot my dog too! Sorry… that was uncalled for. I do put a lot of thought and effort into what I write, and it’s just very hard for me to think about it all just suddenly ceasing to exist. Sorry, but if you think that my marathon comments should just be euthanized, you’ll have to be the one to shoot the dog, and if you do, well I don’t know how you sleep at night!
What kind of monster are you?!
Sorry… again, that was uncalled for. This is my problem and not yours, and I need to keep my emotions in control and right sized. I also need to keep my comments on your blog in control and right sized, or about 1,000 words less than some of them have been lately.
But I do sincerely want to change, and I’m going to work on it. Really work on it and try to do so much more by doing so much less, when I comment on your blog. I don’t want to be forever known as ‘that f*cking guy who keeps blogging on my blog!!!’ So I am going to change by making the changes I need to make, starting right now.
The first change I’m going to make, is that I’m going to stop hanging out so much with Bill Clinton. I mean, I really like the guy, he’s really fun to be around, and Bill and I have a lot of laughs together. But the guy makes my wife nervous when he’s around, and she’s on the edge of an anxiety attack when Bill and I go out for a night on the town.
The guy just makes my wife anxious…
I try to reassure my wife that just cause I’m goin’ out with Clinton, I would never, ever “Monica” her… and maybe I should use a better choice of words to calm her fears, but with a guy like Bill and his reputation, I know that no matter what I say, she just isn’t gonna be okay with me n’ Willy hanging out.
But the real reason that I need to spend far less time with Bill Clinton, is that I know he’s a bad influence on me in another way, that not only affects my wife, but all of you as well. I mean let’s face it – the guy is the King of Long winded! Did you read his book? I mean, I may be bad, but I’ll never be that bad!
Your life may not be long enough to read this book.
As much as I really like Bill, I still gotta remember that this is the guy, who when he gave that ridiculously long key note address at the 1988 Democratic National Convention, he nearly caused the delegates to riot in revolt from having to listen to him go on forever. The biggest and loudest cheer he got during that speech, was when he spoke the words “In closing…”
Bill drives ’em wild in 1988
So in closing, I think that I need some time away from Bill… And hopefully as a result, my comments on your blogs will get shorter, and we’ll all be happier.
Thank you my fellow bloggers! God bless you all, and God bless WordPress!
Word Play 
You don’t blog on my blog—-boo hoo, boo hoo :o( :O( :O(
Careful what you wish for, my friend. Lol
I have never read your blog before. You’re hilarious! I’ll be back to read more, believe me.
Well then welcome to the party, and thanks for showing up! :-) Thanks also for calling me hilarious, because it’s my favorite compliment. Just to let you know, my more recent posts have been more serious, because while I love being a clown, I also have a very serious side.
But if you want to read the funny stuff, just dig a little deeper into my previous posts and I’m pretty sure you’ll find some laughs. :-)
I guess I fall somewhere in the middle because I did get one long blog comment (actually it was in 2 parts because you came back & gave another long comment after already giving a long comment), so I won’t complain I don’t get any & I won’t complain I get too much. You’re just right Chris (as far a my blog comments goes anyway, the rest you have to check with your wife).
Now here is a perfect example of what I’m talking about! On your blog, Lynda, I did it not once but twice! And you are being very nice to me, to not complain.
My wife? They say that charity begins at home, but in our home, so does verbosity… My wife has told me that she literally has dreams of me, talking to her endlessly. At least she can never say that she feels neglected… But maybe she’d appreciate some benign neglect from me at certain times when she can’t hear herself think, because all she can hear is me talking…
My only saving grace, is that I’m also a good listener, and I listen very intently to what others say, so I can reply with understanding, perception, and when needed, lots of compassion. And no one feels like they have to carry the burden of knowing what to say, when carrying on a conversation with me. They just need to remember to keep an eye on their watches, because I think I lead the league in making other people late for work and late for getting to meetings on time. Lol ;-)
So now I have 2 of you? My husband could sell ice to Eskimos he is such a good talker. Works kind of good around here because I don’t have a whole lot to say & in social situations I am quite shy. I just wish he would get the hint (me falling asleep/getting up & leaving the room,/etc.) when I’m tired of listening to him ramble on & on.
Well if my wife and I wander north of the border, maybe we’ll look you up and we can get together for a night of socializing. Your hubby and I will talk all night long and endlessly until it’s so late, it becomes very early. You and Jean can join in the fun until both of you can no longer stand it, and then you two can escape from our non stop chatter and commiserate with each other – about the trials of being married to a man who can never shut up! Lol ;-)
Sounds like an excellent plan! I’m sure hubby & you would get along famously if you could each get a word in edgewise while Jean & I could go sit on the balcony & enjoy some peace & quiet for a change!
Run while you can!!! Fast! No, FASTER!!!!
Just kidding. Naw Chris and I have been going back and forth for a while now. He’ll do the same thing to me. Comment, then think of more to say and comment again. I just had to yell at him that I don’t mind. But I may not reply addressing everything he’s said. And when I’m done, I will either keep it short and simply or just not reply. But everyone does that, for the most part. I think he’s just being too sensitive. (HA, Chris, yeah… too sensitive). He has a great mind and great thinkers just can’t turn it off, and who am I to stop one from expressing themselves?
Great mind? Great thinker??? Michelle, now you’ve done it! My head is swelling up to the size of a weather balloon, and soon I’ll be last seen floating away somewhere high over Newfoundland! Lol :-)
Thanks Michelle. I think you know that my admiration of you is just as much, and even much greater than that, and you deserve it!
Oh, ppphttthphhphhhh
Was that the sound of you trying to save me, with a well aimed puncture of my dangerously inflated and flying away head?
Thanks, and wish me a safe landing! Although that could be tough, cause according to my GPS, I’m now close to where the Titanic went down, and those North Atlantic waters are very cold!
Wait a minute… I think I’m going to be saved! I just saw James Cameron’s boat down below, and looks like he’s spending another day out here obsessing over the Titanic. If I can get his attention off the wreck for just a minute, I’m sure he’ll send someone over to fish me out, and my heart will go on… ;-)
Wish me luck! :-)
That was me sticking my tongue out at you.
Oh… and the places I could go with that… ;-) But for once I won’t, and be a gentleman instead. Besides, sometimes my wife reads this blog, and holding MY tongue every now and then, is just good survival instincts. Lol :-)
I hope your comment on my blog (about what constitutes an asshole) wasn’t the/one-of-the inspiration(s) for this post.
I sometimes write really long comments, but catch myself before I hit “Post” — because if they’re really long I use it for a post of my own.
But feel free to be long-winded on my blog whenever the mood strikes you!
Well, to be honest, your blog is one of the blogs I was thinking of, after my extended burn on BMW drivers comment, but the truth is that I’ve been spreading my run of excessive verbiage on numerous blogs lately.
My wife keeps telling me that fresh asparagus is really good for me, so we’ve been eating it frequently, which is okay because I like asparagus. But I’m just hoping that medical research doesn’t soon prove that for certain people, eating lots of asparagus can cause an outbreak of Asparagus Related Asperger’s Syndrome, (ARAS) while commenting on other folks’ blogs.
I’ve always had a deep seated distrust of eating lots of green vegetables, even though I like eating them. I think we underestimate the capabilities of plants, and more specifically, we underestimate their capability to plan and execute revenge for all the ways we have wronged them.
I think I’ll write a childrens book about it… maybe call it “The Green Giant Avenger – Cruel Vegetable Killers Must Pay!” Nah, that sounds too much like a computer game for teens… How about “Your Asparagus Silently Screams as Mommy Steams It”? That’s more like it, and how to get the target market targeted!
Wow… this is a really long and quite lame comment! But at least this time, it’s on my own blog instead of yours, Elyse. But thanks for your patience and also your permission to be long winded on your blog! :-)
I really don’t care what you do or write on my blog…..I just appreciate your company and that of all my blog friends..
Thanks for your generosity, my friend. You are a very good neighbor; even from almost 11,000 miles away.
I can’t see why people should have a problem with anyone leaving lengthy comments. If they do, well, they’re not ‘nice’ [in a nice way]. I love chatting too and sometimes my comments [esp in the beginning] were getting quite lengthy. If you know the blogger, you will also know if the person will/will not appreciate your 1000+ words comments. I’ve learnt to down-size my comments on ‘some’ blogs, but with others, I know I can ramble on without an ‘issue’. Sometimes the blogger has something interesting that links with your experience and that’s when I like it when people share common experiences/thoughts etc. Wow, I’m droning now…off I go! :)
Good point about it being better to be familiar with the blogger, as well as he or she being familiar with you, before going ahead with making long comments on posts. I do have some self control, so I don’t leave long winded comments on blog posts if the writer doesn’t already “know” me.
My bursts of long windedness on blog comments seem to come and go, so at least it’s not a constant issue with me, and no one has even subtly complained about it, yet… So I appreciate the patience of my blogging friends, but still don’t want to wear out my welcome.
Thanks for your comment here, and it’s good to know that at least someone else out there also “rambles on” sometimes. As far as you droning on? Well, feel free to do that here anytime, because I’d be the last one to ever complain, or get bothered by someone else doing the same thing that I have a tendency to also do. Hope you are having a nice day or evening, and thanks for stopping by. :-)
Hi Chris,
I got notice of a spam comment for you on this post. I thought I would stop by and say I hope you are well.
Elyse
Well now that’s weird, Elyse. This morning I did move a comment left on this post to the spam file, but it wasn’t from you. It was from the ISPA World Conference Site, and the comment read:
Iranian women tend to have noses on the straight and strong side, so you are creating. In other more obvious places, we finally decided on 35 sq.
Replacing the front door of your haunted Halloween abode.
Always make sure that it fits with the atmosphere or
in other words it complements the entire look of the cabinets.
It was scary, still is sometimes, to put my house and life out for
public viewing and comments. If there’s a chance you may be better off traveling than pouring money into an already-functional room.
Elyse, I think that two things are obvious here, and the first thing is that you have nothing to do with the ISPA World Conference Site, (but correct me if I’m wrong) and the second thing is that the above comment has absolutely nothing to do with my post. Which is why I marked it as spam… But what is NOT obvious at all, is why WP sent YOU a notice for a spam comment that you obviously had nothing to do with.
Just for the fun of it, I paid a visit to the ISPA World Conference Site, and guess what? The site is a WordPress site, and imagine that! Seems to me that in the WP TOS, it makes clear that spamming other sites is a reason for WP management to ban any WP blogs that engage in spamming any other WP blogs.
I thought about reporting the ISPA World Conference Site to WP management for being in violation of the WordPress no spamming rule, but I decided NOT to do that. Why?
Because WP management (?) might ban your blog as a result, since apparently WP thinks that you are the offending site – instead of having the capability to know who you really are, and having no clue that you are NOT the WP site that spammed my post.
Since I like and respect you, Elyse, I think that I made a wise choice on your behalf.
Thanks for hoping I am well, Elyse, and I hope someday that will be true. I also hope that you are well. But if you’re not, I know that you are doing your very best to deal with it, and that you are doing it with intelligence, grace, style, and a very funny and entertaining sense of humor.
Which is why you’ll always be a better man than me, Elyse, but at least I’m man enough to admit that’s true. :-)
A better man than you, Chris? Oy vey!
I must have clicked on the email me comments on this post — because I got that very comment that you mentioned, which is what led me to comment in the first place.
I’m getting by, thanks. Sounds like you are too, but I hope you are doing better than it sounded above.
Take care!
Yeah, I know… “Oy vey!” is right, and maybe someone I know will finally learn to leave being funny to the people who actually ARE funny in a humorous way, instead of funny in a strange way. But I won’t mention anyone specifically by name of course, because that would be mean, or in this case, personally embarrassing. (insert canned laugh track here – because that long silence can be very awkward and uncomfortable, and don’t ask me how I know.)
You clicked “email me comments” on one of MY posts? Now that HAD to be a mistake, Elyse, because I know you didn’t mean to do that. Lol ;-) Not that you’d ever get buried by multiple comments by many different people, because that’s not likely to happen here. But just a handful of my somewhat long winded replies would still equal or surpass the word count of multiple comments by many different people, and maybe instead of “Word Play” I should rename this blog “Word Count – A Place For Immeasurable Word Proliferation”.
But at least with just a handful of my long winded replies, however high the combined word count may be, you still only have to delete just a handful of e-mails, instead of deleting multiple e-mails, and you don’t even have to read the damn things either. So if you’re gonna make that mistake, at least when you make it here on my blog, solving the problem will never be labor intensive for you, and I’m glad. :-)
Glad you can say that you’re getting by, and yes, I’m getting by too, and other than the fact that I’m still me, life is good! :-) I was just feeling kinda cranky when I wrote my earlier reply, because I just found out that a good friend of mine was very upset.
She was so upset that she was in tears, when she found out early yesterday morning that although Expedia.com had charged her credit card back in May for the full cost of round trip airfare for BOTH her and her husband, as part of an all inclusive vacation package, that Expedia had reserved only ONE seat on the Delta Airlines flight that she and her husband were supposed to take yesterday to their tropical vacation destination.
And so what did customer service at Expedia.com offer to do, to make things right? They offered to get her another seat on the flight, for an additional 1,600 dollars she had to pay Expedia.com immediately, that would be refunded back to her on some indefinite date in the future. When she asked how long it would take for her to get her refund for the additional 1.600 dollars she had pay now, because of Expedia’s mistake, they wouldn’t even give her a ballpark estimate.
And when my friend told Expedia that since it was their mistake, that they should pay the additional 1,600 dollars now for a seat that she had already paid for three months ago, but that Expedia had failed to reserve for her… she was told that only “Corporate” had the authority to do that, and no one who could make that decision was available, because it was the weekend.
And what was the final outcome of this conflict? My friend is on vacation at home, instead of in the tropics, and she’s trying to get all of her money back via a credit card dispute, that she paid Expedia.com for an “all inclusive vacation package” that didn’t include a way for her husband to go on vacation with her.
Which inspires me to add that sometimes I really wish that as Mitt Romney claimed, Corporations are people… because then I could walk right up to some of these “people” and break their noses, and I’d really enjoy being able to do that.
You have not mellowed in your absence, Chris. Sorry the vacation was ruined. Yours, I’m thinking. Or our evil twin’s.