A Public Confession and an Apology

There’s something troubling on my mind today, and I’m just having a hard time shaking it. I’m feeling guilty about something I did, even though what I did happened 30 years ago.

But since my remorse seems relentless, I’ve decided that I must make a public confession of my wrong doing, and then make an apology for it.

I wasn’t going to make this public confession, and it is still against my better judgment to do so, because it doesn’t make me look very good. But what happened was a long time ago, and I was different then, than I am now.

Two years after our graduation, a group of guys that I knew in college organized a trip to Daytona Beach, Florida, and they invited me to go with them. In addition to lots of time on the beaches and enjoying the nightlife in the clubs, we also made a trip to Orlando and went to Disney World just for kicks.

We were there on the day of my 25th birthday, so as an outrageous joke to bust my balls, they set up a kids style surprise Disney World birthday party for me. I was quite drunk at the time, and even though the joke was on me, I just rolled with it and enjoyed it.

At one point during the party, Minnie Mouse came in and sat on my lap while putting her arms around me. In my quite drunken state, I began to wonder if this person wearing the red and white polka dot dress, black tights, and a giant mouse head, was actually a female. I was more curious than concerned, but I was curious enough to use my hand to try and verify Minnie’s true gender, so I gave her (?) a little squeeze in the chest area.

My hand found what felt like familiar female anatomy, and at almost at the very same instant, Minnie Mouse’s white gloved hand gave me a quick slap across my face. But at least I knew that Minnie Mouse was most definitely female, as she jumped off my lap and hurried out of the room. In hind sight, maybe I should have just asked her…

I still think that some of the blame is on my friends for poor planning, because when looking like this, how could I really know if Minnie Mouse was actually a female?

 

If my friends had really wanted me to have a happy birthday, and also leave no doubts in my mind about her true gender, they would have made arrangements for Minnie Mouse to be dressed like this.

Even with the giant mouse head, the question of whether or not this Minnie Mouse was female, would have never even crossed my mind, and all this unpleasantness could have been avoided.

Ten minutes later, Disney security was on the scene and they told us the party was over, and it was time for us to leave. We were being booted out of their Magic Kingdom, because I had groped Minnie Mouse, and I’m sure that if we hadn’t left right away, that Mickey would have burst through the doorway and furiously kicked my ass!

 

Disney tried to keep it a secret that Mickey had a serious problem with steroid abuse and “Roid Rage” but the truth eventually leaked out, and The National Enquirer broke the story wide open. 

So if through some miracle of probability, and against incredibly high odds, the woman who was Minnie Mouse that day when I offended her, if you are reading this… I want you to know that I am genuinely sorry for what I did.

I wish that instead of sending you in as Minnie Mouse to sit on my drunken lap, it had been a guy dressed up as Porky Pig, because that’s what I really deserved, and you deserved so much better than me!

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
This entry was posted in Humor, Travel and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to A Public Confession and an Apology

  1. Karen says:

    So is it wrong that I snickered like a 14-year-old boy when I read this??? What a great story. You felt up Minnie Mouse. Bwahahahahaha! Now there’s a story for the grandkids. Am I right?? You pervert. :)

    • Well having been a 14 year old boy and done lots of snickering, it would be hard for me to say that it’s wrong when you do it, so no it is not wrong that you snickered. Yes, I felt up Minnie Mouse, and to this day, in spite of wishing I hadn’t done it, I still laugh when I think about it. But no, this won’t be a story for the grandkids, and yes, I am a pervert. Lol :-)

      Thanks for reading, and even more, for having a sense of humor.

      • Karen says:

        LOL you’re quite welcome. I just think the whole thing is freakin’ hilarious!! I swear, if you ever write your memoirs, this story MUST have it’s own chapter, entitled “How I Got Kicked Out of Disneyworld” LMAO!!!

        • Our minds must move in similar directions, Karen, because yesterday as I was writing this, I was thinking of using almost that exact same title. But then I decided to go with something that sounded a little more serious and mysterious… But as I think about it, I like our first choice better, so if there are memoirs written, that will be the title of this chapter. Thanks again for being able to enjoy the humor here, despite the dishonorable circumstances.

  2. RFL says:

    That is hilarious! Great story!

    • Thanks! I knew that I could count on you to appreciate the humor of such a ridiculous situation, even though what I did was the wrong thing to do. That’s why I’ll always be one of your most loyal followers and read all your posts – because I admire someone who really understands humor, enough to be able to recognize the wrongness of a situation, but still be able to find the humor in it as well.

      • RFL says:

        Well, sure it wasn’t the right choice, but maybe somewhere on Blogger.com an ex-Minnie is telling the same story. It’s funny!
        I definitely followed your logic and reasoning for why you needed to find out what was under the dress :)

    • Muhammad says:

      yes you are right RFL yeah………..

  3. This is the funniest thing, Chris. I have been to Disneyland/Disneyworld about 4 times in my life. No easy feat considering where I live. But the second last time I was at Disneyland in LA, we did the obligatory photo op with Mickey thing and I put my arm around his waste. I swear he had a female wasteline and I found myself questioning whether the Mickey I had hugged was in fact a Minnie in disguise. I never did the grope thing, never took it further… but am not sure about the roids, maybe more a case of hormone supplements :). Your colourful past is the gift that keeps on giving!

    • Wow! I am truly amazed at the extent of your travel, and your number of Disneyland/Disney World pilgrimages. So you also had an experience in which you weren’t sure whether a person wearing a giant mouse head and making body contact with you, was a he or a she, and I don’t find that surprising. But you “handled” your situation far better than I did. Hormone supplements? Always a possibility… Lol ;-)

      Thanks for reading, and thanks for having a sense of humor! :-)

  4. benzeknees says:

    I was quite outraged by your tactics in the top half of your blog, but you won me over with your apology. I still think Porky Pig would have been better too!

    • Outraged? You’d think that my tactics involved planning and executing an axe murder. But I’m so glad that I won you over with my apology, though winning over the woman who was actually wronged by my piggish behavior of 30 years ago, would make me feel much better.

  5. Elliot says:

    Could you not tell? Surely she was wearing a dress?

  6. Roly says:

    LOL Funny even though it shouldn’t be. At least you had the courage to own up and not hide behind the “I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing” excuse. Even if it’s 30 years down the line

    • That’s just it, Roly. Funny even though it shouldn’t be, and there is often humor in a situation that is wrong, where someone with less of a sense of humor will be unable to find it. And no, I have never used that weak excuse for my own bad drunken behavior, which now no longer happens 30 years later, and hasn’t happened for many years.

      Thanks for reading and appreciating, Roly. I’m always glad to see you here. :-)

  7. GOF says:

    Where would the world be without youthful inquisitiveness and the yearning to discover truth.
    No need to feel guilty Chris…..well perhaps just a teeny weeny bit. :-)

    • Thanks GOF. And yes, where would such a world be? I’m guessing it would be in Disney World, instead of on Daytona Beach, which is where my friends and I should have stayed at the time, instead of upsetting the folks in The Magic Kingdom, by setting up an ill-advised kids birthday party to be attended by rowdy young men. Not sure why we didn’t also invite some Marines and Sailors on liberty, to make it a complete disaster… Lol

      Thanks for your comment, but yes, I still feel some guilt and regret, and I can say with 100% honesty, that it’s the only time I ever made any unwelcome physical contact with a member of the fair sex, without first getting her consent.

  8. You could have got into worse trouble groping a guy to see what sort he was! Seriously, doesn’t it take just a LITTLE bit off the sexiness when your bikini clad kitten has a big Disney mouse head on?

    • Now what you say is true, Rose. Had that been a guy that I groped, I could have been punched hard in the face instead of getting slapped, and then gawd only knows what would have happened next! I might have retaliated and slugged that cross dressing SOB “Minnie Mouse-Man” hard back, and then me ‘n him could have really gone at it, in a very nasty Magic Kingdom barroom brawl, and instead of Disney security, it could have been the Orlando Police showing up to slap on the cuffs and throw us in the slammer!

      And if it had gone down that way, well it would be a good thing that this was 30 years ago, because today, somebody would have digitally recorded the whole ugly incident, and then me and a guy dressed in a dress and wearing a giant mouse head, brawling it out, and then getting tazed by the Orlando PD, would be going viral on YouTube!!!

      Oh, and yes, bikini clad sex kittens are much sexier when NOT wearing giant mouse heads… Are there any other questions? LOL :-)

  9. jensine says:

    at least we all now know … I am always confused about goofy what is that? A cow, a dog?

    • Yes, and knowing in this case is a good thing! Goofy? I’m leaning towards Goofy being a dog, but you never know what lurks in the dark inner recesses of the minds of Disney Imagineers, so for all we know, Goofy could be some bizarre and asexual mutation of a dog/cow hybrid. One can only wonder…

  10. So you openly fessed up. Good for you! Like I said, she may never see it, but the Karma is in the air.

    • It sure is… which is why I wanted to come clean, cause I didn’t want my Karma to run over my dogma, and most of all cause I’ve been known to be a “dog” myself – but only rarely, and this was a rare example of it.

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