16 Year Old Rebel Without a Clue to Become Grandfather!

I got some big news this morning. In less than nine months, if all goes well, my daughter is going to have a baby, and I’m going to be a grandfather! This news makes me very happy, but it also leaves me in a state of stunned amazement that this could ever possibly happen. Sure, other guys become grandfathers all the time, but not me! No way!

This was never part of the plan, and it seems so unlikely that it’s actually happening, that it seems far more surreal than it does an actual real world reality. Me a grandfather? I must be dreaming. Yeah, I’m probably not even really writing this post, because I’m obviously dreaming, and any minute now the alarm clock will go off, and this ridiculous notion that I’m going to be a grandfather will go away.

But until the alarm clock wakes me up and out of this dream, I might as well keep on writing…

Me a grandfather? How on earth did I get here? Well, sometimes when we are trying to figure out how we ended up where we are, it helps to take a look back to see where we’ve been. So I’m going to do that right now.

If I’m really gonna become a grandfather, well it’s all because of this guy here. He’s the one who at 16 years old, starting fooling around with girls and even having sex, instead of taking that vow of celibacy and joining the priesthood, as he had originally planned to do.

And if you believe that, well have I got a great deal for you on a certain bridge in Brooklyn! But I need a commitment fast, cause this deal is so unbelievable that I can guarantee you it won’t last the rest of this weekend, and he who hesitates is lost, so let’s get this thing done right now!

As you have probably guessed, that kid in the picture is me when I was 16 years old, and me ever seriously thinking for one nano second about taking a vow of celibacy and joining the priesthood, is about as likely as a cow becoming a brain surgeon, or Rush Limbaugh becoming an activist for womens rights.

It’s true that after the arrival of puberty, I had to endure almost four years of involuntary celibacy, and it’s one of the darkest chapters of my life. But thank God that those almost four years of the cruel and unusual punishment of forced celibacy hell finally ended when I was 16, and after that I never had a losing streak that long again, for the rest of my life right up to the present day.

But my 16 year old self isn’t directly responsible for why I’m now on the way to being a Gran Dad; he just got things headed in that direction. It was my 22 year old self who actually planted the seed that turned into a daughter, who has now turned me into a soon to be grandfather. Unless that alarm clock goes off and wakes me up out of this dream, and what’s taking the damn thing so long? It never hesitates to ruin my sleep when I don’t want it to, which is always every early working morning, so it just figures that this would be the time that my alarm clock would decide to take some time off!

I can’t help but laugh when I think about how if becoming a grandfather now at age 55 seems almost incomprehensible to me, how would my 16 year old self have reacted, if someone tried to tell him that one day he would become a grandfather?

Since I know that kid pretty well, since he used to be me, I’m certain that he would have reacted by laughing hysterically and then asking “What kinda shit are you smoking, and can I try it? Cause what you just said is really fuckin’ funny man!  What kinda weed is that anyway? Old Colombian Gran Dad?” More hysterical laughter… “Seriously man, let me try that shit, and maybe I’ll get so wasted that I’ll start thinking that you’re gonna turn into MY grandfather!”

More hysterical laughter, as my 16 year old me and his “High Times” imagination suddenly pictures this image in his stoner head:

Stoner friend morphed into grandfather…

But that 16 year old rebel without a clue, is now a 55 year old somewhat shock worn veteran of the roller coaster ride of life, with all it’s rises, sudden steep falls and often violent and unexpected turns. And as I now think about becoming a grandfather, I may not be laughing like a hyena, but I am smiling, and it’s a smile of happiness, satisfaction and contentment.

It’s still kinda hard for me to believe, but that alarm clock still hasn’t gone off and blown away this dream, so maybe it’s not a dream at all, but a joyous new chapter in my life, and most of all, in the life of my little girl, who is now a beautiful young woman, and an expectant mother.

I guess what is really incredible and hard for me to believe, is that my baby girl…

who was this little baby back then, is now going to have a baby of her own. This is what seems truly miraculous to me, and the real reason why I’m in a state of wonder and amazement.  Me becoming a grandfather? That’s just common and ordinary, and not the real story here at all.

Besides, I’m just gonna grow older and end up being an old man anyway. So why not have some fun with it, and fully enjoy the joy of becoming a grandfather? That 16 year old rebel without a clue that I used to be, would never believe this could happen, and if challenged on it, he’d probably say something stupid, like “Hope I die before I grow old!”

Who put that silly notion in his head anyway?

I think it was this old geezer, and a few of his friends, back when they were young and clueless, and as so often happens, life has the last laugh, and is laughing a lot right now.

I’m now 55,  glad to be alive, and delighted that my daughter is going to make me a grandfather! :-)

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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22 Responses to 16 Year Old Rebel Without a Clue to Become Grandfather!

  1. greatmartin says:

    I’ve always said you were older than you admitted to—OMG!!! I can see76 blogs about your grandchild being posted!!!

    • Well I suppose that could happen, but after many years of being bored by the “Let me tell you all about my grandchildren!” types, I’ll try to not become one of them. Lol ;-)

  2. susielindau says:

    Oh man. Let the blog fodder begin!
    CONGRATULATIONS!!!
    So will you be putting on some extra placebo baby weight along with your daughter? Ice cream and burritos in the middle of the night?
    You will have so much fun with the spoiling part of being a grandparent. My parents were so strict with me and so liberal with my kids! So funny and frustrating. No really funny!

    • Thanks Susie! I think I’ll try to avoid gaining sympathy baby weight along with my daughter, since I already have a big appetite and a love of eating, and I need to work out regularly to keep the extra weight off. But thanks for your suggestion, cause thinking about eating ice cream and burritos together could help to lessen my appetite!

      But then again, I might get curious and actually try your serving suggestion craving, and even end up liking it. This would not be good, since unwanted extra pounds would probably follow…

      Sometimes I think that the universal tendency of grandparents to spoil their grand kids, is a subtle way to get even with their own children for all the trouble these kids caused them while growing up. Those kindly old grandpas and grandmas might be acting out some passive aggressive behavior, as they get secret revenge on their own offspring, by spoiling their kids. But I’m sure that I’m probably wrong about all this – unless I start doing it too! Lol ;-)

      • susielindau says:

        I think grandparents do it because they don’t live with them and they can! They usually have the time and the money.They aren’t uptight about the outcome since it is their kid’s responsibility now! Muahahaha! Back atcha is right!

        • “It is their kid’s responsibility now…” Yep, I think just that one phrase can sum it all up, as an answer to why grandparents are so free and easy, while having lots of fun with their darling grand kids. And yes, when the visit is over, the little darlings don’t go home with grammy & grandpappy; they go home with mom & dad.

          I knew I was exaggerating when I said that grammy & grandpappy are into being passive aggressive as they secretly try to sabotage their kid’s kids, as a way to get their revenge… It’s just the sort of thing that I enjoy writing to amuse my own somewhat twisted and mildly depraved sense of humor, and I’m sure that comes as no surprise to you by now. Lol ;-) Thanks for stopping by and coming back for more, Susie. :-)

  3. crazybunny66 says:

    Well congratulations!! :-) I hope we hear more abou your grandchild to be as the pregnancy goes on and I am looking forward to seeing some pictures once he/she is born. It´s going to be a looker judging by the baby pictures of your daughter :-)

    • Thanks for the congratulations, and I’m sure that there will be some grandchild post updates and then some photos after birth. And thanks for the compliment on the baby pics of my little girl. :-)

  4. Elliot says:

    Congratulations, I’m sure there will be lots of fun!

    • Thanks for the congratulations, Elliot. I’m sure that there will be lots of fun, because I will get to play with the baby when he or she visits, and then my daughter and her husband will get to take the baby home, and deal with caring for the little darling. Just kidding… maybe. Lol ;-)

  5. GOF says:

    Grandfatherhood is all good Chris. Unbelievable, but good. One day we can cry on each others shoulders recalling that 4-year post-16 period of celibacy. ;-)

    • Well GOF, that’s the state of mind that I want to bring into this new phase of my life – that being a grandfather is all good, even if unbelievable.

      Instead of being a Godfather, which can also be good, unless it means that you are the head of the family business, with a reputation for a ruthless approach to wiping out the competition, and putting horse heads in the beds of those you want to make a vivid impression on.

      Shared emotional support while recalling a 4 year post 16 period of celibacy? While I’m genuinely appreciative of your offer, GOF, I do have an alternate proposal – Let’s do all that we can to prevent this personal ice age from ever happening, and failing that, let’s forget it ever happened at all.

      Since guys like us, as we get increasingly older, tend to get increasingly forgetful as well, let’s also get selectively forgetful for that chilling scenario! Let’s not forget that we still have Elle, Nicole, Tina, Ms Pneumatic, various uncovered delectables I have yet to discover in your blog, and Margaret Thatcher to help us!

      Wait a minute GOF… Forget any mention whatsoever of Margaret Thatcher right now! I have NO idea how her name came up, and I don’t want to ever know, so I’m forgetting this ever happened!

  6. What wonderful news and blog fodder, indeed! Congratulations. One of the best things I did for my dad was to make him a grandfather. He was70 before he became a grandfather, but embraced it like there was no tomorrow. He’d play horsey with the boys, get down on the floor with them and play with cars and balls, buy them bad things to eat like icecream and chocolate and would then give them back to me to deal with the sugar rush. The joys that await you are boundless and will keep you youthful. I say thank goodness we get to move on from being 16. Both our skin quality and fashion sense most certainly improve :).

    • Thanks so much for the congratulations, and yes this is wonderful news. That’s great how your dad had so much fun with your kids. I think that playing children’s games with a small child can help keep a person young, especially as a grandparent who no longer has the full responsibility of raising children.

      I agree that it’s a very good thing that we do move on past being 16, and I know that my own photo in this post proves that our fashion sense can improve dramatically. Lol :-)

  7. Elyse says:

    Wonderful news. Congratulations, Chris. You will be a great grand dad.

    • Thanks so much for the congratulations, Elyse. Yes, it really is wonderful news, and the more I think about it, the more wonderful it seems to me. And I say this without any ego or boasting, but I also think that I will be a great grand dad. :-) But thanks for saying so.

  8. JAC says:

    Congratulations! That baby is lucky to have a cool grandad like you.

    • Thanks for the congratulations, Summer. :-) Right now I’m feeling lucky to be on the way to becoming a grandad, and the baby will be lucky cause I love babies and kids. I was thinking about this last night, how except for the occasional visit with relatives, that I seldom get to watch babies and all the cool things they do, or have fun playing games with kids. I’m looking forward to enjoying that experience again, after being away from it for so many years.

  9. Congratulations, GRANDPA!!!!

    • Thanks! :-) Still have some moments when I just don’t know how it all ever came to this… ME a GRANDPA??? Can’t be true!!!

      I learned a long time ago that a major potential side effect of having sex, is having children… But even though I’d heard all the stories, and seen lots of evidence, I thought that surely I must be immune to the associated side effect of Grandparenthood. Well guess again, and I guess not!

      But the nice thing is that those brief minutes of shock and disbelief soon pass, and the more that I think about becoming a GRANDPA, the more I’m looking forward to it. :-)

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