Party Out of Bounds!

Went to a party last night and got really hammered. No other way to describe it. I haven’t been that drunk in years. I just stumbled outta bed and I’ve got a big mug of coffee in one hand and a bottle of Pepto Bismol in the other. One is to revive my pickled brain, and the other is to keep my stomach from rejecting the treatment. Also took a few Advil to try and remove the railroad spike that seems to be lodged deep in my skull. Ugh!

Not really sure that I remember much about all that happened last night, but I’m gonna try and use some pictures here to bring back my recall.

I know that I wasn’t the only one for whom things got way out of control last night.

At least I didn’t end up like this… Although probably highly unlikely that I would, because no matter how drunk I get, I’m just not that kinda guy.

Some people just lose all sense of subtlety when they drink too much.

 

I seldom drink much anymore, and last night is a big reminder of why. I knew I was pretty far gone when some of the people around me started to look like this.

But at least I’m still a nice guy when I get very drunk, and I’d never be so rude as to call her “four eyes”, because after all, she’s not wearing glasses…

There were some guys at the party that I hadn’t seen in years. They were old friends of mine from back when I was single, and I probably wouldn’t have got so hammered if I hadn’t started doing shots with them.

I should have just stuck with the beer, because beer is always better than drinking the hard stuff…

But that’s not always true, I guess…

There were some very pretty young women there at the party last night, and they seemed to have a playful sense of humor.

But they also got very drunk, and late that night I saw two of them leaving with these two guys.

Sometimes people just make some really bad decisions when they get drunk.

 

I know that they do this sort of thing at discos, but our party was at the home of some friends. I heard that some guy threw up on his shirt and went down in the basement to put it in the washer. Looks like he used way too much soap!

 

The weird thing is that I don’t remember anything about the party last night being a wedding reception. Maybe it was just another one of those spur of the moment decisions that people make when they drink a lot.

Or maybe I got so drunk that I got lost and wandered into someone else’s party…

Cause this sure looks like a wedding reception to me. Although I think that the groom got a little carried away when he removed her garter… But I recognize that guy without a shirt – he’s my next door neighbor and he went to the same party I did. Then again, maybe he just followed me and he ended up at someone else’s party too.

But at least I had enough sense to finally realize that it was time to go home, and I also called a cab to drive me home. I went outside to get some fresh air while I waited for my cab to show up.

Now this is just really sad… Guess this Santa here just couldn’t deal with Christmas being over 5 months away, and lost all sense of purpose in his life… And then this extreme heat wave probably just drove him right over the edge. Sure glad it wasn’t me, and thank God I made it safely home!

Well, between the strong coffee and the Pepto Bismol, I’m beginning to feel a little better now, and I better wrap this up so I can get myself together for polite company. But before I head for the shower, I’m going to call my next door neighbor and tell him that he better wash his car, because he got it pretty dirty last night at the party…

 

It might not be a good thing for him, if his wife goes out and sees it looking like this…

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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8 Responses to Party Out of Bounds!

  1. ROFL! Biggest laugh of the day!

  2. RFL says:

    The older I get, the more I would rather not be hung over than tie a good one on. Funny post though. I hope you feel better soon.

    • Same here, Rachelle. But glad you enjoyed the humor, and thanks for wishing me a rapid return to good health. I’m feeling a lot better now – and that’s only because I seldom go off the dial to this extent anymore.

  3. GOF says:

    My place, same time again next year Chris?

    • Would love to GOF! I’ve heard this rumor that people where you live really know how to party, and I’d love to check that scene out for myself, so thanks for the invitation! :-)

  4. Elyse says:

    You made my head spin just reading this, Chris!

    • Thanks Elyse! :-) You have just confirmed that my mission was accomplished – Which is what, in a very different way… I used to say to my wife, after an exceptionally exceptional shared experience… Until GW Bush ruined “Mission Accomplished!” for us forever, by making us think of it as “Mission Prematurely Accomplished!” 9-1/2 years too soon! Lol

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