Another Post That Shouldn’t See the Light of Day?

Not sure what I’m going to write here… In fact, I have no idea what I’m going to write here. I just know that for whatever reason, I need to write, so I’m going to write, because it’s what I do.

Is it just me? Or ever since the beginning of July, has WordPress gone from being a scene like this…

to one like this…?

Anyone else feeling this way on WordPress these days? Just wondering… Yeah, I know… I know it’s summer, I know that people go outside and do fun things in summer, and lots of folks go away on vacation in summer.

But did ya have to all go away at once? Couldn’t we have set things up in advance, so that some of us would leave WP at different times, so that some of us would still be here?  It’s not that hard. We could have arranged for all bloggers with blog titles beginning with the letters A through E to go off and have their summer fun the first week of July, and then blogger group F through K could leave the next week, and so on… We could have worked it out!

And hey, I’m not hard to get along with… If you feel that leaving in alphabetical order isn’t to your advantage, we could have arranged for a coin toss, so that if the coin comes up tails, we could leave in reverse alphabetical order, i.e. Bloggers with Blog Names Z through V get to leave in the first week of July.

Or maybe some entirely different plan to stagger our summer departures, so that it didn’t turn into a mass exodus! I’m reasonable; I’m flexible… Anybody want to talk about how we can avoid the same fate in August? Or are we already too late? Sigh!

This next photo has nothing to do with anything.

 

It just helps me to feel a little bit better to look at a beautiful woman, when I’m feeling depressed…

Looking at well endowed and very curvacious women helps me to feel better too…

I have never been one of those guys who tries to claim that I get Playboy Magazine to read the articles. I looked at the those wonderful photos of the women in Playboy first, and then I read the articles – which actually were very good, and that’s the truth.

Here’s something else that is the truth: I never had a subscription to Playboy before… until my first wife gave me a subscription to Playboy for my birthday. The reasons why she gave me Playboy for my B-day are not important… Well, that’s not really true – it’s more like I know that most of you won’t want to read those reasons, and for once, I’ll keep that in mind, and keep TMI off my post.

My next post? All bets are off… Maybe this new trend of keeping TMI off my posts will continue, or maybe I’ll write all about the night my wife and I learned how to make a “butterfly” together, complete with step by step “how to do it” photos. We’ll see…

But for now…

 

This is the only type of butterfly you’ll see here on this post. Beautiful women aren’t the only creatures that help me feel a little better, when I’m feeling down.

My wife wants me to go for a hike with her in a wooded area nearby, before it gets dark – and I have a feeling that if I don’t get off this computer and go with her, that she’s gonna tell me to take a hike, and one that I won’t enjoy.

So maybe I’ll continue this mental wandering in the wilderness of my mind later…

A few hours later…

My wife’s idea to go hiking was a very good idea, since I’m feeling a lot better now. Although we left too late to avoid the “before it gets dark” issue, and we hiked the last 20 minutes of the wooded and rocky trail in the dark, without flashlights. But since we know that trail very well, there were no consequences, and I really enjoyed hiking in the dark, cause I’m just weird like that. And those of you who are familiar with my blog will not be surprised.

It also helped my mood to get some comments from several of you, and thanks so much for that. During these very lean readership times, your comments are really appreciated, and I’ll be sure to get over to your blogs soon and do likewise for you.

I’d also like to try and do a favor for one of my blogging friends, who mentioned a certain issue to do with some pictures I posted earlier, and I’m hoping what I do here next, will help with that issue for her, and maybe for a few of my other female/alternative life style readers as well.

I’ve come to think that Johnny Depp should be proclaimed “The Universally Hot Guy” because I have yet to meet a woman who says she doesn’t find him attractive. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but please try to refrain from being one, unless you really are one, and are not just trying to bust my chops here. Lol

For the next few, I’m flying blind… because women often really surprise me when they tell me which guys they think are hot, and which are not. Except of course, when they tell me that I’m hot, because I already know that I’m hot, and maybe I should go back to writing like I’m depressed again, cause I’m less annoying that way??? LOL :-)

Anyway, here’s some shots in the dark, that I hope will score.

I’ve heard some female rave reviews of Hugh Jackman, so I figured that he’d be a potentially good pick.

And of course, after my bikini shot of very curvacious Kelly Brook, I thought it only fair to also include a photo of Hugh Jackman showing off what he’s got.

I know that women don’t relate to men showing some skin in quite the same way as guys do when they admire women, but hey, I’m trying my best here…

And while we’re on that subject, which of the following two choices do you ladies prefer?

The Chippendales guys?

 

Or Chip and Dale?

Now this is just my opinion, but I think that Chip and Dale look happy… and those Chippendales guys look gay! But what do I know? Lol ;-)

 

Paul Newman, of course. The photos of him when he was younger, were heavily retouched to the point of looking unnatural, but I think this is a guy who really aged well, and in addition to being handsome, I’ve heard he was a genuinely decent man.

 

George Clooney – He’s come a long way from his ER TV days, and I’ve also read that he is one of the most friendliest and unpretentious men in Hollywood. I also have a great deal of admiration for his sense of compassion for other human beings who are in a state of misery and horror beyond anything that most of us can even begin to imagine. I respect his genuine efforts to do something to try and help these people, as well as raise awareness in the world about the ongoing nightmare of human tragedy in Darfur.

So Judy in particular, and ladies in general… How did I do? Lol ;-)

And now, for something completely different…

WordPress stato-mania can be a very strange trip, and not only because we bloggers, myself included, tend to be obsessed with our WP stats in varying degrees of severity. Because at least in my case, my stats are just plain weird. Those of you who are thinking ‘Well that might have something to do with the author, and what he writes’ are forgiven, and yes, I admit that might be a factor.

Why are my stats weird? Consider the following:

Click on screen shot to see in large size.

From when I first started my blog on December 1st of last year up until the end of today July 23rd, 2012, I have a total of over 36,000 hits and counting. I know that some of you have numbers that blow mine away, but I still feel like I’ve done well with my totals.

BUT… the truth is that my total of over 36,000 hits in seven months and three weeks, is skewered way up high by only two posts… out of the 109 posts that I’ve written.

Check it out:

Click on screen shot to see in large size.

Notice how my top two posts, (not including Home page/Archives) currently account for 19,132 of my 36,058 total hits?

As you can see, my all time most “successful” post is Tina Fey, Naked Mole Rats, and Our Breast Obsessed World currently at 11,741 hits, followed by Staring at Her Elephant now at 7,391 hits.

Yet if you look at both of these posts, you will not see a large number of comments by readers. My Tina Fey post currently has a total of 40 responses and half of that number are my replies. “Staring at her Elephant” has a total of only 27 responses and again, about half of those are my replies.

So I think it’s obvious that the number of hits for both of my top two posts, has little to do with views from WordPress readers.

The vast majority of the hits for these posts are coming from “people” (almost all men, I am certain) from all over the world, who are finding these two posts because they are searching for something on the internet. And what are they looking for?

They are looking for three things, and in this order:

1. Tina Fey – preferably naked. Seriously. I’m too embarrassed to show you all the search terms that I get every single day, to prove this is true. And just for the record, I have never posted any photos of Tina Fey naked, and for two very good reasons – I wouldn’t want to even if I could, and I can’t anyway, because there are no photos of Tina Fey naked on the internet. Unless you count the photo shopped fake ones, and I just don’t want to talk about that… I love and respect Tina Fey, whom I think is highly intelligent, as well as very attractive, talented and very funny. So I find the whole idea of fake photos of Tina Fey naked down right offensive.

They don’t deserve you, Tina…

I am not sexually obsessed with Tina Fey, in the way that apparently thousands of other guys out there on the internet are, and I would have never even come close to imagining that there’s a raging Tina Fey fetish out there, until my blog revealed this is true. This does not make me very proud of my gender, and what a bizarre world it really is out there in cyberspace.

But back to the other two things that people are searching for on the web that lead them to my top two posts.

2. Information about an incident involving Princess Mary of Denmark and Dr. Pentti Arajarvi, husband of former President Tarja Halonen of Finland, and a GIF showing the incident, in which Dr. Arajarvi appears to be very directly staring down the front of Princess Mary’s dress, while sitting next to her at a dinner.

The GIF went viral all over the world, and yes, I posted it on my 2nd all time most viewed post, “Staring at Her Elephant”. But I posted it back on February 6th of this year, when the world obsession with the GIF was just starting to heat up and then go crazy. The hit count for the post was very high for around two months, and then finally the numbers began to go down much lower. I was still getting a lot of hits on the post every day, but nothing like the much higher numbers when they were at their peak.

Then, out of the blue, for almost an entire week starting on July 6th, the number of hits went crazy again, before going back down. I have no idea why… I could have searched the internet to try and find out what brought the feeding frenzy back, but honestly, at this point I’m just tired of the whole thing, so I didn’t bother.

And what might it be, that is the third biggest search leading people (men!) to my blog?

3. Women with well endowed breasts and exceptional cleavage. Because we really do live in a breast obsessed world.

Yes, it is true that there have been a handful of times when I have posted photos of women who are well endowed. But with God and my most frequent readers as my witnesses, I could count on one hand the total number of times I have posted photos of well endowed women (that would be no more than five times) and I have never posted topless or nude photos. Not one single time.

It’s true that I often write humor in my posts that is quite bawdy and sexually risque with the intention of making my readers laugh. And maybe 6 times in 109 posts, I have written more serious erotica, but always with respect and class, without being sexually graphic, because I think that so often what is more subtly implied, is far more erotic than graphic descriptions.

Yet to look at my search terms, you’d think my blog was either Playboy Magazine Online, or even a flippin’ porn site! And I get a ton of these types of search terms every single day. No wonder my number of hits is very high and way out of proportion to my relatively low number of comments! Because there’s thousands of guys out there online searching for sexual content on the internet, and their search engines are bringing them to my blog – where they will almost never find what they are looking for!

I think that without ever intending to, I have become one of the world’s biggest causes of male sexual frustration!!!

And ya know what? It serves ‘em right! Bunch of pervs looking for Tina Fey naked here on my blog! When they come here, and that’s what they’re looking for, they get just what they deserve – Nothing!

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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23 Responses to Another Post That Shouldn’t See the Light of Day?

  1. speaker7 says:

    Hello! hello…hello…hello
    Echo! echo…echo…echo..

    • Thank you S-7. I appreciate your comment because it shows me that there is still some life on WordPress, and in your case, intelligent life too. :-) And I’ve always really liked echoes… Seriously. Years ago a buddy and I climbed to the top of Mt Katahdin in Maine, and since we got a late start, we were the only people at the summit, late in the afternoon. The weather was perfect, with unlimited visibility, and we saw astounding views of “Cathedral Ridge” which was truly worthy of the name. And… we discovered that if we yelled, the most amazingly long and multi-repeated series of echoes would result.

      I think that most people would find these echoes rather amazing, but being a pair of 20 year old guys who were both going on 14, we were just delighted with our stir of many echoes summit experience, and we soon put it to good use.

      There was a park ranger who became a nuisance for us a few times that week, and writing us a ticket for canoeing on a small, very calm flat water lake w/o life jackets was just one example, among others. So we disparagingly nicknamed our pain-in-the-ass park ranger, “Ranger Rick”, after a character in childrens books we both disliked reading when we were in early grade school. (masters of devastating sarcasm we were not… at least not back then)

      So when we both yelled “RANGER RICK SUCKS!!!” and heard it repeated to near perfection as a crystal clear and long string of echoes, just as good as any recording studio reverb, we both burst into hysterical laughter, like the fools we really were. Lol :-)

      And as Jon Stewart would say, “Man, that was a long way around!”. Which in the humor business is not a good thing. Lol

  2. Hi Chris, I’ve nominated you for the Sunshine Award, hope you don’t mind (and if you’ve already got it, you could always offload it on someone else you like!). I love your stuff. Here’s the link – http://livinginfairyland.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/all-sunshiny-for-once/ PS – cheer up! Must be just the June summer hols or something (it’s winter here, maybe you should grow your antipodean audience!)

    • Well thank you Rose! :-) Congratulations for your award, and thanks for sharing it with me. I’m very long overdue for doing an awards post, and I think it’s time for me to show some appreciation for the people like you, who have shown some appreciation for me. So I’m actually going to DO an awards post, for my next post.

      And thanks for the encouragement to cheer up. I’m feeling better now, after going hiking with my wife, and doing the latter part of the wooded and rocky trail in the dark, without flashlights. Yes, I know that this is an unusual way to lift one’s spirits, but it works for us. Lol :-)

  3. Just goes to show you what a super-power the US is. The US goes on vacation and all of us feel it. Some of us even have to suffer the exodus in Winter when we could be pumping out some red hot blogging content and are only met with silence.

    As for your girl pictures, they don’t do anything for me. There seems to something missing, maybe a staple or two…

    • Please accept my apology on behalf of the USA, and try to forgive my superpower country for being a super drag on your blogging experience in the land down under, and during a time when your winter has the potential for producing red hot blogging content, but our USA summer exodus takes away almost all of your readership.

      As far as my “missing staple” girls not helping you… well check back on this post later on, and you’ll see that I’ve tried to set things right. Lol ;-)

    • Hey, you might want to take a second look at this post now, since I’ve added some pictures that you might like a lot more… I realize that most women aren’t used to this coming from a man, but when a woman makes a point, not only do I pay attention, but I also try to act in a positive way pertaining to the point that she has made. I know… very radical behavior, huh? Lol ;-)

      • You have outdone yourself with the revision! Glad I inspired something, even if it is only beefcake. But you nailed it with Hugh Jackman – no staples required there. He is THE bomb, complete package whatever you want to call it. And I am all for equal opportunity window dressing. You guys can’t have all the fun :)

        • I’m very happy that Hugh Jackman’s appearance here was a big success for you, since that was just the reaction I was hoping for. :-)

          Yep, equal opportunity for all, and what’s good for the gander is good for the goose as well. And at least now you know that I don’t want all the fun, because I like to share. Lol :-)

          Thanks for coming back and taking that second look, and for showing your appreciation.

  4. Elyse says:

    It’s true. We can all get together around a campfire and sing “Where have all the bloggers gone” to the tune of, oh, shit you know the tune.

    • Thanks for confirming that I’m not the only one, Elyse. I kinda like your singing around the campfire idea! :-) And yes, shit, I DO know that tune. We used to sing it in Glee Club in 7th grade, and I can’t believe that I just admitted that I was in flippin’ Glee Club!!! LOL

      Yes, I do know that tune, and it was often performed by a trio called “Peter, Paul, and Larry” Larry was a real bad ass, cause he had really long blonde hair, and liked to get up on stage wearing women’s clothes – long before Peter Gabriel thought he was just so cutting edge, when he came out on stage wearing that clingy long red dress and a full fox head mask. Cheap Poser! He was just ripping off Larry’s act!!!

  5. alundeberg says:

    I’ve been wondering if there was a huge blogging convention going on and everyone else was invited, but NOT me! *sniff* I’m so glad (sob) I’m not alone… *sniff*

    • Well, actually you are alone… But you’re not alone in being alone, and yes, I think it helps when you are feeling alone, to know that it’s not just you alone. Lol – Okay, I’ll stop now, and just say THANK YOU for making me feel less alone by stopping by and commenting on my post. I will definitely be headed your way to return the favor. :-)

  6. I bought my husband a subscription to Playboy.

    • Well, now EX husband, but when we were married I did.

      • Well, now my ex-wife too – because polygamy is not only illegal in Massachusetts, but also socially frowned upon – unlike in certain parts of Utah and Arizona… So I had to choose, since I couldn’t have both wife number one and wife number two. It was either that or move to Utah, cause I sure as hell wasn’t moving to flippin’ right wing nut case Arizona!!!

        And of course, none of this is the real reason why my first wife is now my ex-wife… It was just fun to write, and a hell of a lot more fun than the truth, which was no fun at all.

        Interestingly enough (and this is true) when my first wife and I were no longer married after six years, I let my Playboy subscription lapse and I never renewed it. It just wouldn’t have been the same without her… and I was also tired of looking at large and out of proportion silicone fake boobs, which became a rapidly increasing trend, and also women with faces and bodies so airbrushed to perfection, that they no longer looked like real women at all. Playboy women and photography used to be the very best, and then for some reason in later years, Playboy wrecked it – at least for me.

    • Were you testing him to see if he’d really just read the articles? Kidding!!! Lol ;-) I’m sure that you had a much better reason than that, just like my first wife did…

  7. RFL says:

    I’d rather see the cartoon Chip and Dale too. They make me smile, but I’m all sunshine and rainbows like that :) Enjoyed your post, and I’m intrigued by the idea of night hiking, and how many bones I could break getting caught out on a trail after dark!

    • Lol – All sunshine and rainbows, huh? :-) Glad that you enjoyed the post, but please use a flashlight if you go night hiking, and leave the stupid and ridiculously irrational risk taking to veterans like us, who have many years of experience doing it.

      And how do we do it? Well, ya gotta learn to feel it deep down in your very sole. And no, that is not a typo, cause the secret to hiking like a blind idiot in the dark, is to go into this almost Zen like state of ultra focused awareness, in which although your eyes can no longer see the trail, or various rocks, exposed tree roots, holes, and other potentially disastrous tripping and ankle twisting/breaking hazards on the trail… you can now feel the trail and all features on the trail, through the soles of your hiking boots, and you let your soles be your guide to deliverance from darkness and serious injury or worse.

      Or you just manage your time better, so that you don’t end up hiking in the dark to begin with, and always bring TWO flashlights with you, if it’s looking like you may be running behind schedule.

      But still I must ask…Where’s the challenge in that? Where’s the thrill of imminent danger followed by that flooding rush of adrenalin surging through your body and heightening all your senses, to compensate for your dumb ass brain? Where’s the sense of adventure, and the suspense of not knowing if you’ll make it out of there without a serious or even life threatening injury?

      And then the soaring exaltation of beating the odds when you DO make it, despite being a blind idiot, and all your best efforts to put yourself in a needlessly dangerous and pointless situation that could have resulted in your death, or being crippled for life… But it was WORTH IT!!!

      And lest we forget, then there’s the intense satisfaction of blogging about it… and letting your blogging buddies know just what kind of person you really are… A blind idiot who hikes in the dark, somehow gets away with it unharmed, and then brags about it. Oh yes! They will truly know what you’re all about! And they will never forget it…

  8. Nikita says:

    Long time no visit! Since it’s holiday, I might pop-in more, but moving house too, busy packing – other times just too busy with school stuff and new year [starting Sept], going to continue studies, so even worse!

    • Hey there! Nice to see you again! :-) I just checked, and it’s around 3 am where you are right now, so you can read my reply in the morning. I’d be quite delighted if you popped in more, so please do.

      Moving is always a huge undertaking and you have my sympathy for having to go through all that is involved, and having to do all that work. I hope you have some help with your move.

      Yes, you sound very busy with all that you’ve got going on, but I’m glad that you stopped by and I hope to see you again soon. I’ll also be heading over to visit your blog soon as
      well.

      • Nikita says:

        And it’s exactly 7am now! :) I wanted to say – Hugh looks great – but not in swimming wear, he needs much more sun before he can show some skin! lol! – and Paul Newman – hey! character showing in that face. :) No thanks to the Chippendales – really for the 14 yr old girls giggling giggling giggling all the time. hehe

        • Glad that I was able to make Hugh Jackman a pleasing part of your morning, even if only in photo image form. Arranging a date for you with him would be more complicated, but hey, I’m a generous guy, and if I had the power I’d do it! :-)

          But first, I’d tell him to work on his tan… Lol ;-)

          Even as a guy who isn’t into guys (well, at least not THAT way) I still think that is a very impressive picture of Paul Newman.

          And I got a real laugh out of your no thanks to the Chippendales, and your impression that 14 year old girls are the ones most impressed by them, while doing all that giggling. Lol :-)

          Thanks for stopping by, and for brightening my day. :-)

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