The Devil May Care, But I Definitely Don’t

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I’m in a “devil may care” kinda mood today, so this post may wander off into dangerous territory… Or more accurately, be guilty of way too much TMI. (was that redundant? lol) But for better or worse, I’m going to post whatever the hell I want to here today, and I don’t care whether anyone likes it or doesn’t like it, or thinks it’s too long or comments or doesn’t comment. (your comments are always appreciated, and yes, I’m inconsistent. lol)

I posted the photo above because for two days the WordPress photo editing option to do things like re-size and crop photos for my posts had vanished, and I wanted to see if maybe the “edit option” had returned, but it hasn’t. (It reappeared on Dec. 6th) But I had another reason for posting this photo, which is that it’s an example of the type of erotic image that I find very attractive, and as an amateur photographer, that I really admire. I have a large portfolio of my own original erotic photography, and if I had taken this one, I’d be proud of it. And no, I am not going to start posting my original erotic photography here on this blog.

But I might start posting my own erotic photography on my new WordPress blog, that I created back on November 1st. I’m not mentioning my new WP blog here to promote it. I’m not even going to link to it or reveal the name of it here. My reason for mentioning it, is that I’m in a good mood today, because after a month and a week, the new blog is suddenly starting to do well, after being lost in unknown cyberspace territory for over a month.

When it comes to my own writing, there are three subjects that I either feel very passionate about, or enjoy writing about the most. Humor, Erotica, and Politics.

Anyone familiar with this blog already knows that I love humor, and enough said. Politics is my least favorite subject to write about, because it’s the fastest way I know of to ruin a friendship. Sad but true… and now more than ever. I only write about politics when I’m driven to it, and when I am, sometimes it feels like getting drafted to fight in a war.

I’m going to say something controversial now, and it may even cost me some followers, but I don’t care. Politically, I would describe myself as a left leaning centrist Democrat, in the FDR “New Deal” tradition. But as a humorist and comedian, I have discovered an eternal truth – The fastest way to make friends with even some of the most hardcore right wingers, is to tell ‘em funny dirty jokes, and very sexy stories, in a venue where they feel safely anonymous.

I have years of experience that proves this to be true, and I have learned the hard way that many members of the Right, male and female in equal numbers, will love me as long as I keep them laughing at sexually ribald humor and titillated by seriously sexy stories, and I never say anything no matter how brief, that clashes with their right wing world view. Cause when I have, the same people who have loved me for years, will turn on me with a level of vicious hatred that is as astounding as it is horrifying. Enough said.

Erotica is obviously a potentially controversial subject, but I love writing erotica and I’ve learned to minimize the controversy by writing it online only in places where I know I’ll have a readership that enjoys it and isn’t offended by it.

I’ve been writing erotic short stories for over 10 years, and although my erotic writing needs to get much better than it currently is, recently my erotic writing has been rapidly improving; enough so that my wife has been pushing me to make a serious effort to get my erotic writing published. My wife Jean reads books constantly in a wide variety of genres, and I have a great respect for her opinion, because she has an appreciation for skillfully created writing, and little tolerance for crap.

She is also uncompromisingly honest with her opinion of my writing, and when I write crap, Jean will politely tell me it’s crap. So when Jean tells me that she thinks my erotic writing is getting good enough to be worth a try to get it published, that really tells me something worthwhile, and 2013 could be an interesting year…

But I still have no intention to reveal anything here about my new WordPress erotic blog, because I write graphic erotica, and I know that the majority of my readership here is the wrong readership for my style of erotic writing. I write graphic erotica, but I do not write porn. Some people think that graphic erotica and porn are the same thing, but there is a world of difference between the two.

Porn takes two or more people and describes in graphic detail their sexual activity, often in a way that is laughably disconnected from the reality of what real people enjoy doing sexually, in real life. Porn doesn’t waste any time boring readers and viewers with any description of who people really are, why they are who they are, and how they interact with each other in a relationship, beyond just fucking, licking and sucking.

Graphic Erotica offers a vivid description of sexuality, but also creates and describes complex characters, both male and female, who seem like real people in real life. It also takes the time and effort to explore the dynamics of how and why people interact with each other in a relationship together, often in ways that have nothing to do with sexual activity. It creates and describes the interactions and struggles of people in a relationship in a way that seems very true to real life.

Personally, I think the big advantage that well written graphic erotica has over porn, is that because the people and the relationships do seem so true to life, when people do have sex, reading about their sexual experiences is a much more powerfully vivid experience for the reader, far beyond anything ever found in porn. Especially for women, because the sexuality of most women is more complex and highly evolved, than in men. Not always, but most of the time. (Sorry guys, but I call ‘em like I see ‘em. lol)

I used to post some of my erotic stories on a site called “Literotica”. Literotica does have some standards for the writing that is allowed on their site, because every story, even stories from the best of their regular writers, has to be reviewed by their editorial staff before they will post it. But Literotica’s standards for writing are not that high, because I’ve seen some absolute crap writing they have accepted, and if I had written it, I’d hang my head in shame.

On the other hand, there are many stories on Literotica with a very high skill level of writing that makes “50 Shames of Grey” (typo intentional) look like the crap that it really is, however financially successful the crap of “50 Shames” has become.

My stories on Literotica often got hateful ranting reviews from men, who wanted to only read about fucking, licking, and sucking, and not about real life relationships, because it reminded them too much of what complete and total failures they have been, in their own attempted and failed relationships. But these hateful male reviews never bothered me, because I always considered the source, and my female readers on Literotica were much more supportive.

But I finally gave up on Literotica, because what I was hoping for, was lots of interactive dialogue with other writers, and that just doesn’t exist on Literotica. But it does on WordPress… 

This won’t surprise some of you, but there is a large and active underground community of bloggers on WordPress, who write graphic erotica, as well as more subtle erotica, which although not usually my style, I have a lot of admiration and respect for. Because I know that often less is more, and what is left to the imagination can often be much more erotic than nothing left to the imagination.

E0 The Bikini

Which is why an attractive woman in a bikini can often make a bigger impression on me, than the same woman naked at a nude beach. I would also like to mention that even though I’m apparently the WP Cleavage King of the Internet, thanks to my search terms, I find a woman with a shape like this very attractive, and while I appreciate a nice pair, I don’t have a Hugh Hefner-esque Huge Hooter Fixation. I think that small breasted women can be very attractive, as well as larger breasted women.

But getting back to the point I was beginning to make, there is a large and active underground community of bloggers on WordPress, who write graphic erotica, and I am proud to have joined them. I’m finding that once these writers get to know me enough to like and trust me, they are willing to have that interactive dialogue about writing, that I couldn’t get on my former site.

Similar to the entire WordPress blogging community, at least from my own experience, a very large majority of the bloggers who write both graphic and more subtle erotica on WordPress are women, and men are a very small minority. I’m not surprised that there are a lot of women who are into writing erotica here on WordPress. The type of erotica that these women write, was pioneered by Anais Nin in the early 20th century, when she was one of the first women to explore a wide and diverse range of sexual expression and activity in her erotic writing. She didn’t write romance novels and she bears no resemblance to Nora Roberts.

Anais Nin, who many critics rate as one of the finest female writers of erotica, was writing journals about her own real life sexual experiences and relationships in the early 1920s, although her writing wasn’t first published until 1932. She continued writing about her sexual experiences as well as erotic fiction until her death in 1977, and much of her writing was published after she died. Her most commonly well known work is Delta of Venus”; a book of her erotic short stories.

Nin was a fascinating and complex woman who was highly intelligent with a strong and independent personality, and she had a very active and diverse sex life with many different partners. She socialized with some of the most important literary figures of her time, such as Henry Miller, John Steinbeck, Edmund Wilson, and Gore Vidal, and she had a passionate love affair with Henry Miller.

She was interested in psychoanalysis, and underwent therapy with a psychoanalyst, Otto Rank, who was one of Sigmund Freud’s closest colleagues for 20 years, until he broke with Freud in part because he believed that Freud failed to understand that women were sexual beings within their own context, to the same degree as men, and the expression of sexuality was just as important in woman’s lives, as it was in the lives of men.

Her therapy with Rank helped her to understand her own sexuality and validated her freedom of sexual expression as a woman free from the repressive constraints of her time, such as sex being only for procreation, ignorance of the fact that it was natural for women to enjoy sex, and enjoy sex as much as men did, and that women were not just passively empty vessels waiting to be filled and used by men.

Nin eventually became a psychoanalyst herself and worked with patients in therapy for a time, until she discontinued her practice.

Anais Nin2

Anais Nin – A trail blazer who started her own sexual revolution for the full expression of female sexuality in the early 20th century, and the first woman to write erotica on the level of important literature that has been critically acclaimed, academically studied, and her writing is still widely read today.

Why do I love to write graphic erotica? From an early age, I’ve always been fascinated by human sexuality, and not just because I’m some perpetually horny guy. I have read extensively about human sexuality, and although I was kidding around about that on a recent post, I really have read in depth science papers on the subject and on my bookcase right now, is a college text book entitled “Our Sexuality” by Robert Crooks and Karla Baur. It’s 761 pages long and I’ve read all of it twice. Trust me when I tell you that it’s on a higher level than the Penthouse Forum. Lol – which I used to read back when I was in my mid teens.

In 1986 I almost married a very attractive woman who was an expert in the practice of Tantric sex, and she taught me some truly amazing things. But we didn’t get married because she gave me an ultimatum to convert to her religion, which was Buddhism, and I walked… I have a great deal of respect for Buddhism, but not so much for people who issue ultimatums to convert to their religion, whatever it may be.

But not marrying my Buddhist Tantric sex expert lover turned into the biggest and best blessing of my entire life, because a year later in 1987, I met my current wife, Jean, who is without a doubt, my one true Soul mate, as I am also hers.

My interest in writing graphic erotica has nothing to do with being a creeper, or some guy searching cyberspace for cheap thrills and opportunities to engage in cyber-infidelity. And I would never cheat on my wife. Because I know how incredibly rare it is for either a man or a woman to find their one true Soul mate, and that many people never do, for their entire lives. I’d rather take a chain saw and cut off my right arm than lose Jean.

I do have some common sense and enough to have learned these two eternal truths, as a man:

1. Extra-marital affairs almost always end very badly and ravage the lives of everyone involved.

2. Even the woman who truly loves you with all the capacity of her heart and soul, will probably stop loving you, hate you with a passion instead, and then leave you when she finds out you cheated with another woman. There’s almost never a second chance or any hope of being forgiven.

Forget using the chainsaw to cut off my right arm! I’d rather use the chainsaw to cut off my head, if I was ever enough of a fool do something that foolish and lose Jean as a result.

And that is just too depressing a way to end this post…

wpuA

Probably the best nude photo I have even taken – back in 1986. Professional model – no personal involvement. I don’t do nude photography of women anymore, because my wife is not comfortable with it. Hey, she’s a wonderful person and very patient with me in many ways, but she’s still only human. And from now on, I’ll keep the nude photos on that other WP blog… Lol ;-)

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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14 Responses to The Devil May Care, But I Definitely Don’t

  1. HaLin says:

    Slick click there, at the end. The lighting, angles, contrast.

    Enjoyed this read and i’m glad for you and your wife. You are right about the soul mate bit!

    • Thanks for the compliment on my photo, and yes, my wife and I are two very lucky people who were fortunate enough to have found each other. Thanks for reading and commenting on my post. :-)

  2. maryisidra says:

    Good read. I am a fan of the subtle also in words and pictures.

  3. jbw0123 says:

    Or to cut off something else that starts with a P.

    Phew, Chris. You are a man of many words. I had no idea about the plethora of erotica bloggers. Is that good or bad? Can’t decide. Anyway, good luck with your new blog! Lovely photo, even if it is of a woman and not a man (why is it sort of OK to post naked women but not naked men?). Jean is a saint, and you are right about infidelity. No hope of ever being forgiven. Cheers!

    • Uhm… Being a guy, that would be a fate worse than death, so I think that I’d still prefer to cut off my big head and NOT my little head. But it’s a moot point, since I’m never going to be in that situation to begin with.

      I am a man of TOO many words, and I’m still trying to work on cutting down my word counts for my posts to more reasonable levels.

      I had no idea either, until several months ago while searching for something unrelated on Google, I landed on an erotica blog, and I saw it was a WordPress blog. Surprise! Surprise! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people posting erotica on WP, but your question got me thinking… As a result I ended up doing a major rewrite of this post, and I cut out some stuff that was unimportant and replaced it with the fact that the vast majority of the bloggers writing erotica on WP are women, and I tied that in with Anais Nin.

      TY for the compliment on the photo. I don’t have any problem with anyone posting photos of nude men, but I think I know why it’s “not OK”. It’s because heterosexuals, both men and women, don’t want to look at penises. Straight guys don’t want to see them due to mild homophobia, and straight gals want to at least be properly introduced to a man, and have a chance to decide if he’s likeable and interesting, and if there’s any attraction with the potential for a deeper mental emotional connection, that could lead to a physical connection, instead of just suddenly seeing this naked male stranger with his penis in plain sight.

      And yes, Jean is a saint, which is why I will never stray. TY for stopping by! :-)

  4. jbw0123 says:

    Glad to know you re-wrote and added in the Anais Nin section. I flipped through this to read your reply, and there was A.N.! Where did she come from? Had kind of a spacey day yesterday, and so thought perhaps spacing that section was a sign of dementia. I read her diaries before college, and you know what? They were so discreetly written, I didn’t really GET that the main subject was her sex life, until I re-read them many years later, and was shocked at myself. Anyway. Good addition. To you and me both, from Strunk and White: Omit needless words.

    • Hi Julia, I just logged on, and your comment was locked up in spam detention so I just freed it, and I’ll have a word with the Spam cop to stop being rude to my friends, since you look nothing like spam, and he should know better! I was going to literally tell you where A.N. came from geographically, but with my chronic wordomania, you might not know I was intentionally parodying myself as a joke. ;-) (instead of my usual unintentional self parody. lol)

      The only work from Nin that I’ve read is “Delta of Venus” and it was fairly graphic. But I later read that she wrote it with Henry Miller and a couple friends as a joke, and they wrote the characters in the stories as erotic exaggerations, since Nin was being paid a dollar a page for it, by some dirty old man. I’ve also read that Nin was intentionally vague with her writing in some of her diaries, because she was writing about actual experiences involving real people, and she was trying to protect their identities – so that may explain your first impression from reading her diaries back when you were still a teenager.

      “Omit needless words”? That would probably be 60% of all my content! Lol ;-) And much more my issue than yours, since I’d describe your blog posts as “slender”, while mine look like Michael Moore! Lol ;-)

  5. Teeny Bikini says:

    Wow. This was totally fascinating. I had no idea there were so many erotica writers on WP. That’s interesting. Even more interesting, were the tidbits about your life and Interests….Humor, politics and erotica – that’s quite a combo :) I need Jean to move into my house so I can have someone to tell me if something I write is crap… must save a lot time for a writer. Does she like cats? I love how you described your wife, relationship and commitment as well. That was beautiful. I read through all of the comments as well and still no link to the other blog. Aw, come on, Chris? ;)

    • Sorry for the very late reply to your comment here, Teeny. Thanks for calling my post “totally fascinating.” That’s very high praise, and I’ll try to not let it go to my head, and end up “big headed” as a result. Lol ;-) As I think about it, when I’m really feeling “on” I enjoy writing humor much more than I enjoy writing erotica, because being funny and making other people laugh, is a much more pleasurable experience for me. Writing successful humor that really does make people laugh, is also a greater challenge for me, than writing erotica that really makes people laugh… Lol ;-)

      Uhmn… Yes, Jean does like cats, but I can tell you from first hand experience, that it does take some getting used to, to be told even gently, that something you’ve written is crap. Most of all, when the person who tells you that your writing is crap, is also the person who’s opinion matters more to you than anyone else’s opinion does… So it can be a double edged sword, that does make me a better writer… but also still “cuts” in that other direction too. But, I’m enough of a man to deal with that, so no big deal.

      Nope, still no link to that “other” blog – at least not here. But now if someone was resourceful enough… I’ll bet that he or she could figure out how and where that link might be found.

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