Philosophy, Porn, and The Fishing Channel

I guess I’m in a philosophical mood today, and I feel like contemplating the question of “Which Came First, the Chicken or the Egg?”

Actually, I don’t need to contemplate for very long, because the answer is neither, because the Rooster came first!

The chicken didn’t come at all, because Roosters come in about less than 5 seconds, and I sure don’t know what all that crowing is about!

You sure wouldn’t hear ME crowing, if I came in less than 5 seconds! So the answer is that The Rooster came first, the egg came from the chicken next, and eventually a chick came from the egg. Unless someone ate the egg…

Philosophy can be pretty silly! I told my Philosophy professor that, and he gave me an answer that was almost a half hour long, when he should have just said “Shut up, kid… unless you want a bummer of a grade for this class!” I guess some Philosophy professors are silly too, but I didn’t tell him that, because I didn’t want to hear another half hour long answer!

I mean, really! Here’s another real beaut of a philosophical question: “If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?”

I’ll answer this question with another question. “If you are all alone in your living room when the power goes out, and you hit your shin hard on the coffee table, do YOU still make a sound?” I’m gonna bet that you not only make a sound, but that it’s very LOUD and probably punctuated with some profanity!

But nothing is conclusive without proof, so I think that we should test this one out… on some Philosophy professors! My bet is that we wouldn’t hear any more mental meanderings about the possibility of trees falling silently in empty forests!

***********************

The other night while I was watching TV, I was switching back and forth between the fishing channel and the porn channel, and I noticed some similarities and differences…

1. On both channels, all the men had really long poles, but the guys on the fishing channel had better lines.

2. On both channels, people liked to dress up in rubber.

3. On both channels, they were doing it while standing up, and while sitting in a chair.

4. On both channels, they used fish nets, but women wore them on their legs on the porn channel.

5. On the fishing channel “the one that got away” didn’t cause a big mess!

6. On the fishing channel they were doing “catch and release”, but on the porn channel, it was more like “snatch and release.”

7. On both channels, someone shouted “Wow! What a whopper!”

8. On the fishing channel, 12 inches was small and disappointing… but on the porn channel 12 inches caused women to gasp OMG!!!

9. On both channels, guys like to eat what they catch.

10. On the fishing channel, when the guy’s rod suddenly bent way over with the tip down, it was very exciting! But when this happened on the porn channel, it was time to change the channel, and watch something else.

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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2 Responses to Philosophy, Porn, and The Fishing Channel

  1. I Am Writers Block says:

    This is brilliant. The chicken and the egg was genius. I have never seen it explained in that way before.

    Some of the points on the porn and fishing comparisons had me chuckling to myself, while the others had me laughing out loud. 1 and 10 are the best. Very entertaining.

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