Cell Phone Use in the Restroom

It’s time for my afternoon coffee break so I can recaffeinate and rewordify. That’s the thing about drinking lots of coffee, it makes you run to the bathroom and also run at the mouth! Let me demonstrate… (running at the mouth – not running to the bathroom!)

So tell me, do you find it odd when you notice people carrying on cell phone conversations in the rest room? As in before… during… and after? Uhm, not to offend anyone here who may engage in this activity, but I think it’s kinda weird. What could be so all consumingly important that the conversation must not stop, even while performing very personal but necessary bodily functions?

 

Is this really necessary?

I guess people who do this aren’t bothered by it because while they can be heard, they can’t be seen. And what the other party doesn’t know, won’t gross them out. Unless of course, you fart like a Gatling gun! But even then, if asked what the noise is, it could be said that a truck is backfiring instead of you! And the truth is, that the other non excreting party is also so absorbed in the conversation that they won’t notice, or won’t care if they do…

Now maybe it’s just me, but when I hear someone yakking away in the stall next to me, I find it kinda annoying, to the point that I’m hoping this person will drop their cell phone into the toilet. Because I know that what they say next will be loud, angry, probably profane and much more satisfying to hear than whatever they were yammering about before. Lol ;-)

Now I know that some of you are wondering ‘just where does he come up with this shit???’ Why in the mens room of course! Where else would you think I’d find it?

I guess it’s on my mind (if you’re thinking ‘shit for brains!’ I forgive you.) it’s on my mind because I just saw a rather unique and extreme example of this behavior. I was in the mens room getting rid of some excess coffee, while standing up like only us guys can do, when a woman ran into the mens room while talking animatedly on her cell phone! The guy standing next to me and I exchanged confused glances, as if to ask each other, “Can we get in trouble for this?”

By now, the woman in the mens room on her cell phone, was in a stall doing what she came to do, while still talking animatedly on her cell phone. The guy next to me asked, “Should we say something? Should we tell her?” I was quick to answer “No! She’ll just scream when she sees us and call the police! Just mind your own business and pretend she’s not there!” Guy next to me suddenly looks irritated, and says “Maybe WE should call the police!”

But I was quick to answer “No! If the cops show up, they might get confused and arrest us! Just ignore her, and soon she’ll be gone!”

“It’s NOT fair!” guy next to me complains! “Life isn’t fair!” I answer back, “Just deal with it!”

And before anything else could be said, she was up and out of the stall, and headed straight for the door, cell phone still pressed to her ear, still talking animatedly. And then she was gone… apparently never knowing where she “went” and never even seeing who was in there with her. We might as well have been invisible.

“Did that just really happen?” guy next to me asked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!” I was quick to answer. “And if you’re smart, you won’t either. Never think of it or speak of it, ever! Because nothing really happened! Get that straight right now, or you won’t be able to sleep at night! We are survivors and we will recover by forever remembering to forget. You got that, Joe? Because you gotta get that! Your sanity depends on it.”

After washing our hands and blowing them dry, we turned towards each other and suddenly embraced! “Be strong my brother!” I urged my comrade, my voice choking back the intense emotion. “Be strong and be well!”

And then we turned and silently parted, disappearing back into our separate lives, but never really able to forget the experience that bound us together…

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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14 Responses to Cell Phone Use in the Restroom

  1. Martin D. Goodkin says:

    Of course it won’t be long–probably possible now–people will be able to see you when they talk to you in the bathroom!!!

    • Martin my friend! Welcome to my new home! And I’ll be looking for a new home if I spend much more time here on WP. I think my wife is already trying to have me declared legally dead because she never sees me anymore, and she wants to collect on my life insurance. Dick Tracy video phones? Well, there’s already Skype, but I’m not sure it’s available for cell phones. My cell phone is not “smart” so I wouldn’t know. Thanks for stopping by! :-)

      • Martin D. Goodkin says:

        A cell phone is only as ‘smart’ as the person who uses it–not that I am saying anything!!! LOL
        PS Your favorite site is down ‘for repairs’ LOL
        Can you subscribe to sites here?

  2. Hilarious!! And how strange… Technology really does interesting things to people. :)

    • Glad that you enjoyed it, and thanks for stopping by. Yes, technology does things to people, and seems to be a double edged sword that can cut both sharp or quite dull, depending on who is using it.

  3. Love it… And so true…

    Where would people be without their mobile phones? :( Less complicated times when we didn’t have them… Sigh…
    I remember being on a three hour train journey last year & was much looking forward to having a doze to the gentle rocking of the carriage as it rumbled along the tracks… This girl in her twenties gets on & must have called everyone in her phone book, repeating the same conversation to each of them, like she couldn’t bare the thought of not talking to someone for the duration of the journey… Pretty much drove everyone ding-dong… She even got aggressive with one guy who pointed out the ‘No cell phone’ signs that littered every window & door in the carriage… Most discourteous… :( Sad but true…
    Keep up the great work…
    Well done!!!

    • Thanks, and I appreciate the encouragement. I’m not a cell phone person. I have one, but I use it only when I need to. There’s a lot of idiocy going on with mobile phones today. People text while driving, which not only makes them idiots, but also a danger to themselves and any other driver or pedestrian in range. And there was an article recently about how in the city I live near, that increasing numbers of people are ending up in hospitals because they get injured while walking and texting! They are so oblivious that they walk into street lamp posts, fall off of curbs, and get hit by cars when they wander out into the street! Apparently “smart” phones are making some people really stupid.

    • Martin D. Goodkin says:

      Don’t have a cell phone—don’t want a cell phone—don’t need a cell phone :O)

      • Of course you don’t need a cell phone, because you are “Great”! Lol

        By the way, you asked if you can subscribe to blogs here – well you most certainly can! In the upper right hand corner of this page, where it says “Follow Blog via Email” click on the bar that says “Follow Me!” and enter your e-mail address. You’ll get an e-mail note every time I write a new post, and your life will be complete! Lol ;-)

  4. crazybunny66 says:

    brilliant!!! I think I will have to spend an entire evening going through your blog :-)

    btw: my colleague is one of those creatures that answers the phone whilst sitting on the loo – I know because I phoned him once…..

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