It’s time for my afternoon coffee break so I can recaffeinate and rewordify. That’s the thing about drinking lots of coffee, it makes you run to the bathroom and also run at the mouth! Let me demonstrate… (running at the mouth – not running to the bathroom!)
So tell me, do you find it odd when you notice people carrying on cell phone conversations in the rest room? As in before… during… and after? Uhm, not to offend anyone here who may engage in this activity, but I think it’s kinda weird. What could be so all consumingly important that the conversation must not stop, even while performing very personal but necessary bodily functions?
Is this really necessary?
I guess people who do this aren’t bothered by it because while they can be heard, they can’t be seen. And what the other party doesn’t know, won’t gross them out. Unless of course, you fart like a Gatling gun! But even then, if asked what the noise is, it could be said that a truck is backfiring instead of you! And the truth is, that the other non excreting party is also so absorbed in the conversation that they won’t notice, or won’t care if they do…
Now maybe it’s just me, but when I hear someone yakking away in the stall next to me, I find it kinda annoying, to the point that I’m hoping this person will drop their cell phone into the toilet. Because I know that what they say next will be loud, angry, probably profane and much more satisfying to hear than whatever they were yammering about before. Lol ;-)
Now I know that some of you are wondering ‘just where does he come up with this shit???’ Why in the mens room of course! Where else would you think I’d find it?
I guess it’s on my mind (if you’re thinking ‘shit for brains!’ I forgive you.) it’s on my mind because I just saw a rather unique and extreme example of this behavior. I was in the mens room getting rid of some excess coffee, while standing up like only us guys can do, when a woman ran into the mens room while talking animatedly on her cell phone! The guy standing next to me and I exchanged confused glances, as if to ask each other, “Can we get in trouble for this?”
By now, the woman in the mens room on her cell phone, was in a stall doing what she came to do, while still talking animatedly on her cell phone. The guy next to me asked, “Should we say something? Should we tell her?” I was quick to answer “No! She’ll just scream when she sees us and call the police! Just mind your own business and pretend she’s not there!” Guy next to me suddenly looks irritated, and says “Maybe WE should call the police!”
But I was quick to answer “No! If the cops show up, they might get confused and arrest us! Just ignore her, and soon she’ll be gone!”
“It’s NOT fair!” guy next to me complains! “Life isn’t fair!” I answer back, “Just deal with it!”
And before anything else could be said, she was up and out of the stall, and headed straight for the door, cell phone still pressed to her ear, still talking animatedly. And then she was gone… apparently never knowing where she “went” and never even seeing who was in there with her. We might as well have been invisible.
“Did that just really happen?” guy next to me asked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!” I was quick to answer. “And if you’re smart, you won’t either. Never think of it or speak of it, ever! Because nothing really happened! Get that straight right now, or you won’t be able to sleep at night! We are survivors and we will recover by forever remembering to forget. You got that, Joe? Because you gotta get that! Your sanity depends on it.”
After washing our hands and blowing them dry, we turned towards each other and suddenly embraced! “Be strong my brother!” I urged my comrade, my voice choking back the intense emotion. “Be strong and be well!”
And then we turned and silently parted, disappearing back into our separate lives, but never really able to forget the experience that bound us together…