Honesty in Advertising – Billboard Signs

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This is a good one for me right now. Because although I haven’t smoked pot since the 1980s, I feel like I totally forgot where I put my brain today.

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Maybe a little too brutally honest. And some folks just don’t need to be encouraged when it comes to eating lots of donuts.

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Thank God for hardware stores! Because they’re the only place where some faithfully married men can still find a good screw!

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So true, for so many… Roses are red, violets are blue, let Hallmark say something boring and cliched for you. However tired and lame, it’s still tried and true, and still much better than what you can do.

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Apparently the sentiment of wives married to the guys who are looking for a good screw at Ace Hardware.

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Which in some cases, is better than looking at it.

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The same thing you did the night before, with your mother’s sister. Please drink responsibly, or God only knows what you’ll end up being responsible for!

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  And then find someone to play with them.

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                       Because you can order those raw too.

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Well, so am I… But if I’m gonna give it a nick name, I’m sure not gonna call it Hammond. “Big Jim and the Twins” is much better!

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They’re available in salted and also unsalted, if you want them washed first.

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And because we often use models who look half starved, we encourage anorexia too.

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And if you don’t believe it, Mrs. Barry Bonds testified to it in court under oath.

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                                                         And proof that in some cases, there is really IS such a thing as Indecent Exposure!

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And in his case, that’s really the truth!

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But at least they don’t have to keep shoveling it against the tide five days a week!

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       Now let’s be fair here… Many very skilled and talented people come from Canada. How do I know? Because they become rich and famous in the USA.

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             Ever wonder why some people go out and buy shit when they can produce their own for free?

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I’m not on board with this one. I would have gone with “No panties? CORVETTE”

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Yep. Reality TV – With a badly written script and a preplanned lame ass plot too. What? Now you’re all upset because you thought it was real? Then time for us to have a little talk about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny too.

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I thought this was a great employment opportunity and I was very excited, until my wife told me to stop beating around the bush and get a real job!

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How come these people weren’t around when my ex and I were planning our wedding?

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And you put the lard in your ass, when you eat an entire box of these in one sitting!

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Which just goes to show that some businesses and professions go hand in hand. Like car companies and law firms, and car salesmen and lawyers. One filthy hand washes the other, after spreading the bullshit.

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About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Honesty in Advertising – Billboard Signs

  1. Martin D. Goodkin says:

    Regarding your first paragraph sir–when did you get a brain???? First time I heard of that!!

  2. Martin D. Goodkin says:

    Okay where do you find the list of topics????? LOL

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