NEWS FLASH!!! BOSTON MAN’S HEAD RECOVERED AFTER HARROWING FLIGHT!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
BOSTON, MA: A Boston man was recovered yesterday, after his head swelled up to 100 times it’s normal size, and floated away from where he was staying in Stamford, CT, to an altitude of over 40,000 feet high. On Thursday Dec 15th, Christopher Sheridan was reading some comments in “The Writers Lounge” which showered him with praise for his contributions. Mr. Sheridan’s head suddenly and uncontrollably began to swell to gargantuan proportions, and soon became lighter than air, to the point that it quickly burst out of his hotel room and floated away.
Sheridan’s head was responsible for a rash of UFO sightings as he gained an increasingly high altitude. Eventually he drifted high enough to reach the flight routes of numerous commercial jet liners, some of which had to take evasive action to avoid causing a sudden catastrophic deflation of the high flying head.
But apparently, around noon time on Friday, Sheridan encountered a severe downdraft in a thunderstorm and experienced an extreme drop in altitude. He was soon spotted over a park near Boston Ma, flying just above the tree tops. At this point, Sheridan soon became entangled in the string of a kite being flown by 5 year old Melissa Roberts, who began laughing and giggling while hauling the big head down to earth.
“Daddy! Daddy!! I caught a funny face! I caught a big funny face!!!” shouted a laughing Melissa, as she pulled Sheridan over to her father, Paul Roberts. At this point, Mr. Roberts notified the authorities and Sheridan was handed over to their safe keeping.
Melissa Roberts demonstrates for reporters
how she “caught a big funny face!”
Friday Dec 16th, at 12:30 pm EST, a tearful yet joyful Mrs. Sheridan arrived at the park in Boston to reclaim her wayward husband. “I’m just so glad that he finally came back down to earth. God only knows where he would have gone, had he been allowed to just drift away!” exclaimed the shaken but relieved wife. “I’m afraid that from now on, I’m going to have to keep him on a firm tether.” she added.
In the end, everyone agreed that while “pride goeth before a fall” all’s well that ends well.