My stats are nowhere today, and so is my mind. This post may go nowhere, and after finishing it, I may just trash it. We’ll see…
WordPress is becoming a problem for me. I love it here, but I love too much. The word “addiction” has become appropriate to describe my relationship with WP these days. One of my favorite bloggers wrote a post called Addiction. I enjoyed reading it, but it struck a little too close to home. But what creeped me out more than the blog post about WP addiction, was all the people who commented on it and almost gleefully admitted that they too, are WP addicts. There was one comment that bothered me the most, because it was like taking a harsh and unflattering look at myself in a mirror.
This person said that often upon waking, that the very first thing they do, is run to their computer, log onto WP and check their stats. I’ve been doing the same thing lately, and this is not healthy behavior. Let me qualify that. There would be nothing wrong with it, if you then pulled yourself away from WP and went on to do other things that lead to living a productive, healthy and happy life.
But it’s not healthy at all, when your mood is either good or bad, depending on how high or low your stats are on WP. It’s even worse, when you neglect activities and loved ones, because you go on an all consuming crusade on WP, to drive your stats back up, when they are low, so you can feel good again.
The worst thing is, that my wife, whom I love dearly, has come to the point that she resents WP, because it takes away the time that I should be spending with her. She’s not a needy or clingy type at all, and she has her own very interesting and active life. So all the more reason that I should take heed when she starts frequently complaining about feeling abandoned by me, because of all the time I’m spending on WP, while leaving her feeling like she’s less important to me.
Her reaction to my increasingly obsessive involvement with WP, is the most serious indication that I need to change my ways. Not that I need to completely give up my involvement here on WordPress, but that I need to put it on a more appropriate priority level in relation to what should matter the most in my life. And my wife belongs at the top of the list, because trust me when I say that the woman is an absolute gem, and easily the best thing to ever happen to me, in all my life. She should never feel like she matters less to me, than WP does.
But enough on that… I’m not usually one to write a “get emotionally naked” blog like this one. But this time I felt like it was necessary to help me get my priorities straight again.
Here’s a good place to put a video. I’m not a total Beatles freak, and the truth is that I still listen to The Rolling Stones far more than I listen to The Beatles. But I will always have a great deal of respect for John Lennon. He’s not my patron saint, and I don’t worship him, but I do have a lot respect for Lennon, because of his ability to get painfully and brutally honest with himself at times, when he realized that he needed to be.
Years after the fact, Lennon admitted that when he wrote Nowhere Man, that he wrote it about himself. Amazingly insightful, for a guy who at the time, was at the height of his fame and public adoration. To this day, I still think that Nowhere Man is a great song with great music and painfully honest lyrics that still manage to convey a message of hope that personal change for the better is always possible if we make the effort to really try and change.
I may need a few days away from WordPress, just to “get back to where I once belonged”. But I’ll be back, and hopefully after finding that elusive state of balance that can make all the difference in our lives.
And let’s end this thing on a more positive note, because after a lyric from “Get Back” comes to mind, why not play that one too? Those four guys from Liverpool, England were pretty damn good!