Nowhere Man on WP

My stats are nowhere today, and so is my mind. This post may go nowhere, and after finishing it, I may just trash it. We’ll see…

WordPress is becoming a problem for me. I love it here, but I love too much. The word “addiction” has become appropriate to describe my relationship with WP these days. One of my favorite bloggers wrote a post called Addiction. I enjoyed reading it, but it struck a little too close to home. But what creeped me out more than the blog post about WP addiction, was all the people who commented on it and almost gleefully admitted that they too, are WP addicts. There was one comment that bothered me the most, because it was like taking a harsh and unflattering look at myself in a mirror.

This person said that often upon waking, that the very first thing they do, is run to their computer, log onto WP and check their stats. I’ve been doing the same thing lately, and this is not healthy behavior. Let me qualify that. There would be nothing wrong with it, if you then pulled yourself away from WP and went on to do other things that lead to living a productive, healthy and happy life.

But it’s not healthy at all, when your mood is either good or bad, depending on how high or low your stats are on WP. It’s even worse, when you neglect activities and loved ones, because you go on an all consuming crusade on WP, to drive your stats back up, when they are low, so you can feel good again.

The worst thing is, that my wife, whom I love dearly, has come to the point that she resents WP, because it takes away the time that I should be spending with her. She’s not a needy or clingy type at all, and she has her own very interesting and active life. So all the more reason that I should take heed when she starts frequently complaining about feeling abandoned by me, because of all the time I’m spending on WP, while leaving her feeling like she’s less important to me.

Her reaction to my increasingly obsessive involvement with WP, is the most serious indication that I need to change my ways. Not that I need to completely give up my involvement here on WordPress, but that I need to put it on a more appropriate priority level in relation to what should matter the most in my life. And my wife belongs at the top of the list, because trust me when I say that the woman is an absolute gem, and easily the best thing to ever happen to me, in all my life. She should never feel like she matters less to me, than WP does.

But enough on that… I’m not usually one to write a “get emotionally naked” blog like this one. But this time I felt like it was necessary to help me get my priorities straight again.

Here’s a good place to put a video. I’m not a total Beatles freak, and the truth is that I still listen to The Rolling Stones far more than I listen to The Beatles. But I will always have a great deal of respect for John Lennon. He’s not my patron saint, and I don’t worship him, but I do have a lot respect for Lennon, because of his ability to get painfully and brutally honest with himself at times, when he realized that he needed to be.

Years after the fact, Lennon admitted that when he wrote Nowhere Man, that he wrote it about himself. Amazingly insightful, for a guy who at the time, was at the height of his fame and public adoration. To this day, I still think that Nowhere Man is a great song with great music and painfully honest lyrics that still manage to convey a message of hope that personal change for the better is always possible if we make the effort to really try and change.

I may need a few days away from WordPress, just to “get back to where I once belonged”. But I’ll be back, and hopefully after finding that elusive state of balance that can make all the difference in our lives.

And let’s end this thing on a more positive note, because after a lyric from “Get Back” comes to mind, why not play that one too? Those four guys from Liverpool, England were pretty damn good!


About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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23 Responses to Nowhere Man on WP

  1. maryfollowsthelamb says:

    Interesting insights.

  2. benzeknees says:

    Oh, oh – make sure you pay your wife the attention she deserves! I’m glad you realized it before it became a real problem. We will miss your witticisms every day, but like good chocolate, we will appreciate them more when we get them.

    • Hi there, and TY for stopping by. :-) And thanks for the high praise, but I seriously doubt that I could ever really compete with good chocolate. I mean now just consider this – you have a choice of two things you can do today, but you can do only one of them today – either enjoy good chocolate OR read my latest blog post. We both know that you’re going for the good chocolate, and that’s okay, because I understand! Lol ;-)

  3. Oh, I am completely 1,000% addicted. However, I am divorced, no children, two dogs, and my health no longer allows me to be a weekend warrior that I used to be. Therefore, I am grateful for my addiction – but it’s not just to WP, it is to the internet as a whole. I love creating, I love building, and I love sharing. And I refuse to rot away in front of the TV. I’ve learned more about politics these past several months than I think I ever did in school. However… those are my circumstance.

    You, my dear WP friend, do have a wife that loves you dearly as you do her. Cherish that. I never found that love – or perhaps it’s just not my cup-of-tea. Balancing the two may be tough, but I have all the faith in you. We all look forward to your next post. Is your wife interested at all in blogging? Perhaps a hubbie/wife team effort here? Just a thought…. Take care!

  4. Devina says:

    Ouch. Yes I can relate, I’m currently a student and, I too, spend unhealthy amount of time on WP that it’s scary and I don’t get my work done. Maybe you should take baby steps in putting some distance between WP and yourself, like say, for every one day you blog skip the next day. So the day after you log in again and so on. That sounds easier than actually getting it done, but I’m going to give it a try. I wish you luck with everything :)

    • All I can say, is TG there was NO internet when I was a student, because I would have never gotten anything done! There were already enough things to distract me away from doing my work as it was, without the internet!
      But I’m wishing you the very best of success in keeping your time on WP in check enough that you can still enjoy blogging and get the work done that you need to do, to get the most out of your education. Good luck with that, and thanks for stopping by. :-)

  5. Remember, an addiction to WP beats an addiction to FaceBook any day of the week ;)
    If you are overwhelmed with blog emails -as is often the case for me- just do the unimaginable… and delete them.
    Start again.
    Had the same problem with my daughter several years ago that you’ve mentioned with your wife. Between that, and the unexpected loss of my father, I backed off WP for almost two years.
    Funny about the stats though. Never even think about them until WP sends out the year-end aggregate. Then I forget they’re even extant again.
    Maybe there’s hope for the both of us -smile-.

    • Hey! I’m also addicted to FB! But it’s a lower priority for me. :D

      • ha! was for a while. my misanthropy eventually took over and it was just too much to deal with. the inane banter -and waste of my small amount of wit on cretins- kind of broke that. Hi, my name is Rachael and I have not logged on to Face Book in seven days…
        not promising there won’t be a slip though

      • Michelle, I know that you use FB as a useful tool to find material for your blog, instead of becoming a useless tool on FB, like so many others do.

        • Yes, that is true. I always have it up, but just come and go for a few minutes. More to see if there’s anything interesting, then to post stuff. WordPress and graphics definitely take up about 90% of my computer time (when not at work). I do manage to focus most of the time with work when at work. A mental break to catch up on emails.

    • Couldn’t agree with you more about FB, which is why FB is not a problem for me. If I’m going to allow myself to become involved in an orgy of third partying my personal info, I’ll save that for a real life orgy, and I’ll bring my wife with me, because we try to maintain the closeness and intimacy of our relationship by doing everything (and everyone) together. (Kidding!)
      Funny that you should mention being overwhelmed by WP e-mails, because I was just thinking earlier today about deleting them all and starting over, so TY for the push.

      I guess I’m not the first to encounter the resentment of loved ones who feel like they are competing with the time I spend in my virtual life and they’re getting the short end. But we’re already working that out, and as long as I use some common sense and keep things in the proper balance, we’ll be fine.
      And I’m now all done with WP statomania – it’s just taking things way too seriously, when this is supposed to be about having fun and enjoying it with others, and not obsessing about keeping score.
      Thanks for stopping by, and yes, I think there’s most definitely hope for both of us! :-)

  6. Elyse says:

    Well you hit that nail pretty hard — and, of course, right smack on the head. I too am addicted, but trying to wean myself somewhat. To check less frequently at work, to do things other than blog, to not get annoyed at my husband when he suggests we go OUT. I think the bloom is off for me, and after 6 months that’s good. I am trying to enjoy it more, and feel the committment less. And I no longer hit “follow” every time I like a blog!

    This was a very eloquent post. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Elyse. I guess internet addiction has been around for as long as there’s been an internet, but now there’s just so many more levels to be tempted by, that it’s easier than ever to get hooked. I was writing stories, humorous and otherwise, back in grade school for the sheer fun of it and sharing my writing with friends, so no surprise for me, like you, that blogging would become irresistible. But it’s nothing that we can’t work out with a little discipline and common sense.

  7. I wouldn’t mistreat your wife, when are you gonna give her my number you dirty stop out!!!!!!??

    (which is my oh so not appropriate way of saying I miss you but love that you’ve gotten busy with my lover .. grins)

    • Am I allowed to describe the kind of visuals that I’m now enjoying after reading your comment? No, best to leave them where they belong, right here in my sweet imagination. Let’s just say that I can see you doing a really good job of not mistreating my wife, and she’s being pretty good to you too! Lol ;-) Why, it’s enough to make me really want to get extra busy with our lover!!! Lol (big grins)

  8. Terrific insights. I think we all, WP, Tumblr, FB, Twitter and all other types of communication have the same thing happen. I know I do. Sad to say. You have a great post here. I hope your wife is feeling much happier now. :) Two great songs!

    • Thanks! Yeah, there’s just so much out there online now, and so many different ways to lose yourself, that people getting lost in it all is pretty common these days. But my wife and I are on the same page now, and we’re both happier for it. Thanks again, and glad that you liked the music! :-)

      • Glad you are on the same page! That is a good thing. I get very wrapped up in the net. I am single so it doesn’t affect anyone else. It does affect me. I have gained weight and that is not good as I already have health issues. I am trying to get a better perspective on it. Hard sometimes too as I live in a very rural area. Nothing out here. I hope you and your wife are having a wonderful time together! :)

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