When Awards Attack!!! – Part One

One on one is a fair fight. Two on one is a serious brawl. But three on one is a dangerous and potentially deadly attack, and there’s no shame in trying to escape with your life and limb in one piece! Unless of course, we’re not really talking about bar brawls, thugs and muggers, but instead, we’re describing what happens when Awards Attack!!!

And since I’m talking about when blogging awards attack, well maybe since I’m really more of a lover than a fighter, then I should drop this whole fighting analogy, and go with the language of Love instead.

In which case, one on one is martial relations. Two on one happened only once, back on a wild night in my college daze. And three on one? Well that’s just a fantasy and delusions of grandeur in my case… unless… we’re really talking about three blogging awards accepted here on one post, in which case the analogy fits, because let’s face it, kids – there’s a lot about blogging and life in the blogosphere that is similar to fantasy, and delusions of grandeur. For example, (lowers his voice to a whisper) we actually think that we’re writers, and that we might have a future as professional writers…

See my point? But hey, in any case, it’s always nice to be recognized for our “talents” such as they are, and continuing with my “language of love” theme here, that’s why I’m going to bang out this post of sincere appreciation and gratitude for not one, not two, but three blogging awards so generously bestowed upon me.

First up, is The Kreativ Blogger Award which apparently I should have won back in high school, when I used to lose half a grade on my essays and reports just for making so many spelling mistakes. But that was then and this is now, so I’m gratefully accepting this award from Betty of Four Blue Hills (A repository, of sorts) Please check out her blog because she puts a lot of heart and soul as well as humor into her writing, and it’s well worth reading. Thank you so much for sharing this award with me, Betty. I really appreciate it.

The rules of the Kreativ Blogger Award are that I need to pick 6 other bloggers to receive the award, and I’m also supposed to share ten things about myself.

Let’s get down to the six other bloggers that I’d like to share this award with. If you’ve already received it, well then just consider yourself to be twice as deserving as before. And please note that I don’t expect you to do an acceptance post, unless you really want to. Just know that I think your blog is pretty cool, I enjoy reading it, and I know that others will enjoy reading it too.

So in no particular order, my six choices are:

A Rich, Full Life In Spite of It

Jap Rap

Heather Christena Schmidt

The Wandering Atavist

The Reluctant Monogamist

Motley News

These are all great blogs, and my advice to you, is that you check them out instead of reading the following ten things about me. If you do this, it will be time well spent, instead of time wasted.

But… if you’re just the incorrigible type, and won’t listen to reason, well just don’t say that I didn’t try to warn you! Sigh…

1. The first four cars I owned, were all totaled in crashes, but no one was seriously hurt and I was at fault in only one of the four accidents – I hydroplaned into a guard rail on a highway in heavy rain. I wasn’t in one of my cars when it was totaled, because I let my girlfriend borrow it. But she wasn’t at fault either, and no one was hurt, even though she was hit in a head on collision by a van driving the wrong way on a one way street. She was wearing a lap and shoulder belt, which saved her from harm.

2. I won’t drive around the block without wearing a seat belt. I was also wearing seat belts in all three accidents that I was in, because from age 16 on, I’ve almost never driven a car or truck without wearing a seat belt. Which is why I’m still here and able to write this post.

3. For some reason that I can’t explain, just the sight of crash test dummies makes me very anxious and I break out into a cold sweat.

4. My great grandfather was a county judge in western Pennsylvania. He was also a member of the Ku Klux Klan. We didn’t find out about his involvement in the Klan until many years after his death, when my mother found a copy of “The Constitution of The Knights of the Ku Klux Klan” pushed way back in the drawer of a desk that belonged to him. Hand written on the fly leaf in the front were the words “With responsibility and honor” My grandmother confirmed that the hand writing was unmistakably that of her father. He died when I was four, and my only memory of him, was that he was a kindly and gentle old man.

5. Both my parents raised me to believe that racism and bigotry is a terrible sin.

6. I’ve been tempted to try out bigamy, but after concluding that the logistics are too difficult, and outweigh the advantages, I gave up on that idea.

7. I am the youngest of three sons. My older brothers thought that I was an ideal subject for their “experiments” – which resulted in three different trips to the ER by the time I was 12 years old. The injuries weren’t life threatening – but I still have a couple scars to remember the results of these “experiments”, which never did go the way my brothers told me they would.

8. What were some of these “experiments”? Let’s see… when I was six, they swung me from a tree in a crudely tied rope harness that was supposed to launch me safely across an eight foot wide construction ditch. It didn’t work… When I was four, they tied the leash of our large German Shepherd dog to my belt so he could pull me down the street while I was wearing roller skates. The dog saw a cat – which he chased at full speed ahead, while dragging me bouncing down the pavement behind him for 50 yards until he stopped. I was covered with large nasty red abrasions and big bruises that soon turned dark purple. I looked like roadkill, except that I was screaming bloody murder. Which is almost what my dad did to my brothers…

9. After training for a year, in 1993 I ran and completed the Boston Marathon in 3:56:49. But “Heartbreak Hill” was a truly brutal experience, and I never wanted to run another marathon again.

10. I don’t run anymore, because between years of distance running and trail hiking, I have chronic knee problems. But I still enjoy hiking and other physically demanding recreation, so to stay in shape, I alternate swimming laps with 20 mile bike rides three times a week in good weather. In bad weather and during winter I combine swimming with riding my bike indoors using a bike trainer.

And this post is now over 1,200 words, which means that it’s time to stop, because I’m starting to bore myself, and if I’m getting bored, well I’m sure that you’re probably bored too. Or you’re just off doing something else by now, which is the smart thing to do.

The second and third awards will have to wait for part two, and hopefully the thrilling conclusion of When Awards Attack!!!


About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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8 Responses to When Awards Attack!!! – Part One

  1. mommywritervkent says:

    Woo hoo…. Congrats! Great writing as a matter of fact!!!

  2. Congratulations! And thank you!
    Yes, big brothers are always great for experimenting on their youngest sibling. I have three older bro’s myself….

  3. greatmartin says:

    That’s okay–I don’t mind being shunned, avoided, pushed to the side, forgotten—I still love you!!!

    • I still love you too, man! If I have been negligent, I now promise to change my ways! And besides… what took you so LONG to get over here and say something to show me the error of my ways, huh? Lol ;-)

  4. japrap says:

    Well a BIG mazel tov to you! And thank you:)

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