I was looking at my search terms this morning, and for the very first time since I started blogging on WordPress last December 1st, I looked at my all time most frequent search terms that have led to views of my blog.
So what is my number one all time search term?
tina fey hot
No, I’m not kidding. That’s really what it is. This makes me happy! :-) Because I love Tina Fey and I think that she deserves to be my all time number one search term, and yes I think she’s hot, and apparently I’m not the only one… I think that women in general should find this encouraging. It shows that yes, intelligence, creativity, talent, an awesome sense of humor, and the ability to make us laugh goes a long way with many of us guys out there.
Congratulations Ms. Fey! You deserve it.
But the curious thing here, is that until today, out of 68 posts on WP, I have written a grand total of one post about Tina Fey. To look at my search terms, you’d think that my entire blog is about Tina Fey.
But nope… only one post. It’s true that my one and only Tina Fey post included several photos of Ms. Fey that are very sexy and alluring, so maybe that had something to do with it. Yep, I guess that lots of guys out there, and maybe some women too, are searching the internet for sexy pix of Tina Fey. Liz Lemon, you’re really a vixen in nerdy sheeps clothing, and you’re not fooling us.
My second all time most frequent search term doesn’t make me nearly as happy as my first one. What is it?
Before I write another word, consider the following:
Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchett, Michelle Pffeifer, Charlize Theron, Eva Longoria, Kate Hudson, and also her mom, Goldie Hawn. There’s also Danica Patrick, Evan Rachel Wood, and Jodi Foster, among many others.
What do all these women have in common, besides being beautiful, sexy and famous? They are all small breasted.
So how did I get stuck with “best cleavage” as my second all time most frequent search term? Again, it’s all because of only one post.
The post included this gif:
If you don’t know the story behind this gif, please read my post Staring at Her Elephant because at this point I’m just really tired of the whole thing, and I don’t feel like wasting time here today writing another word about it.
The same post also included a certain photo. Before I show you the photo, please keep in mind that I put the photo there to make a point, and yes, also for the sake of a little bit of shock value. But the point I was trying to make, in a humorous way, is the importance of making eye contact when speaking to a woman, even more so, with a woman who looks like this:
So the end result of this one post, is that I’m now the Cleavage King of the internet. Thousands of “people” from many different countries have landed on my blog, because they’re looking for the “best cleavage” and they continue to do so every day.
I have only one comment, which is that it’s not my fault that the world is breast obsessed, and thank God that Tina Fey is still number one! There may be hope for humanity after all.
So going back to the title of this post, you may wonder what naked mole rats have to do with anything. Well, “naked mole rat” is my 6th all time most frequent search term. Not nearly as hot as “tina fey hot” or “best cleavage” but still way up there.
And yes, once again, I wrote only one post that briefly mentioned naked mole rats. What is a naked mole rat, besides a much sought for search on the web?
This is a Naked Mole Rat, and yes, some people actually keep them for pets. To me, they look like an old man’s penis with feet and a nasty set of fangs. The stuff of nightmares…
But apparently, naked mole rats are an internet sensation and maybe because they are the “anti-kittens” of the online world. Thinking of it in this way, I guess I can respect that. We need “anti-kittens” online, or otherwise we’ll all just go into a cyber-sugar coma of deadly cuteness overdose.
Like most of us here on WordPress, every now and then, I get a truly sick search term that makes me shake my head and really wonder about the true extent of the depravity and mental illness out there. I’m not going to bother with giving an example here, but if the day ever comes when I look at my search terms and see “tina fey hot sex with naked mole rat with the best cleavage” well I may have to take a break from blogging for a while. I just don’t want to be an enabler for that kind of sick and twisted mind…
Happy Friday WordPress! :-)