Tina Fey, Naked Mole Rats, and Our Breast Obsessed World

I was looking at my search terms this morning, and for the very first time since I started blogging on WordPress last December 1st, I looked at my all time most frequent search terms that have led to views of my blog.

So what is my number one all time search term?

tina fey hot

No, I’m not kidding. That’s really what it is. This makes me happy! :-) Because I love Tina Fey and I think that she deserves to be my all time number one search term, and yes I think she’s hot, and apparently I’m not the only one… I think that women in general should find this encouraging. It shows that yes, intelligence, creativity, talent, an awesome sense of humor, and the ability to make us laugh goes a long way with many of us guys out there.

Congratulations Ms. Fey! You deserve it.

But the curious thing here, is that until today, out of 68 posts on WP, I have written a grand total of one post about Tina Fey. To look at my search terms, you’d think that my entire blog is about Tina Fey.

But nope… only one post. It’s true that my one and only Tina Fey post included several photos of Ms. Fey that are very sexy and alluring, so maybe that had something to do with it. Yep, I guess that lots of guys out there, and maybe some women too, are searching the internet for sexy pix of Tina Fey. Liz Lemon, you’re really a vixen in nerdy sheeps clothing, and you’re not fooling us.

My second all time most frequent search term doesn’t make me nearly as happy as my first one. What is it?

best cleavage

Before I write another word, consider the following:

Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchett, Michelle Pffeifer, Charlize Theron, Eva Longoria, Kate Hudson, and also her mom, Goldie Hawn. There’s also Danica Patrick, Evan Rachel Wood, and Jodi Foster, among many others.

What do all these women have in common, besides being beautiful, sexy and famous? They are all small breasted.

So how did I get stuck with “best cleavage” as my second all time most frequent search term? Again, it’s all because of only one post.

The post included this gif:

If you don’t know the story behind this gif, please read my post Staring at Her Elephant because at this point I’m just really tired of the whole thing, and I don’t feel like wasting time here today writing another word about it.

The same post also included a certain photo. Before I show you the photo, please keep in mind that I put the photo there to make a point, and yes, also for the sake of a little bit of shock value. But the point I was trying to make, in a humorous way, is the importance of making eye contact when speaking to a woman, even more so, with a woman who looks like this:

So the end result of this one post, is that I’m now the Cleavage King of the internet. Thousands of “people” from many different countries have landed on my blog, because they’re looking for the “best cleavage” and they continue to do so every day.

I have only one comment, which is that it’s not my fault that the world is breast obsessed, and thank God that Tina Fey is still number one! There may be hope for humanity after all.

So going back to the title of this post, you may wonder what naked mole rats have to do with anything. Well, “naked mole rat” is my 6th  all time most frequent search term. Not nearly as hot as “tina fey hot” or “best cleavage” but still way up there.

And yes, once again, I wrote only one post that briefly mentioned naked mole rats. What is a naked mole rat, besides a much sought for search on the web?

This is a Naked Mole Rat, and yes, some people actually keep them for pets. To me, they look like an old man’s penis with feet and a nasty set of fangs. The stuff of nightmares…

But apparently, naked mole rats are an internet sensation and maybe because they are the “anti-kittens” of the online world. Thinking of it in this way, I guess I can respect that. We need “anti-kittens” online, or otherwise we’ll all just go into a cyber-sugar coma of deadly cuteness overdose.

Like most of us here on WordPress, every now and then, I get a truly sick search term that makes me shake my head and really wonder about the true extent of the depravity and mental illness out there. I’m not going to bother with giving an example here, but if the day ever comes when I look at my search terms and see “tina fey hot sex with naked mole rat with the best cleavage” well I may have to take a break from blogging for a while. I just don’t want to be an enabler for that kind of sick and twisted mind…

Happy Friday WordPress! :-)

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to Tina Fey, Naked Mole Rats, and Our Breast Obsessed World

  1. That is the best gif EVER! EVER!

    And naked mole rats are awesome. By the time they are 8 weeks old, they already have jobs. I could get on board with that!

  2. LOVE Tina Fey…Searched once for “small BUT INTERESTING breasts” that reaped some rewards, and never looked for mole rats. One tag that has stuck with me was a search I did for a photo for a post. I Googled “sexy sheep”…yeah…my mother would be so proud. GREAT post! MORE, MORE, MORE!!! Happy week end Chris!
    PKC

    • Yeah, she’s a real gem of a woman, and I mean that. “Sexy sheep”, huh? Lol – I can run with that, because of the classic scene from the Woody Allen movie with Gene Wilder down and out and drinking a bottle of Woolite, because he lost his beloved “Daisy”. Lol :-)
      Thanks for the enthusiastic comment PKC! And a happy weekend to you as well!
      If you’ll excuse me now, I’m going to google “small but interesting breasts” because I find that search term intellectually stimulating as well as physically exciting. ;-)

  3. LOL… My top three are
    #1) Funny pictures with captions
    #2) Costa concordia
    #3) Insomnia
    That’s because I always name all my photos exactly what they’re about. People google “funny pictures captions” all the time – hell, that’s what I search for. And I learned that the photo names really add a ton of hits to a site. And the Insomnia was posted on January 3rd, 2012, when I was having a horrible night of insomnia. I googled funny insomnia images and captions, cartoons, etc. and posted them – each one having “insomnia” in the name. And every morning when I get it, it’s always in the top 3 hits of the night – so obviously there are many others suffering from insomnia.

    • Hi Michelle! As one of your most loyal and frequent readers, I really enjoy your funny pictures with captions, so I’m not surprised. The Costa Concordia photos were great too, and speaking of “funny pictures with captions” I still laugh when I remember the one you had that was captioned “Cruise ship preparing to breastfeed her young” Lol :-)
      I’m guessing that the percentage of people who spend a lot of time online, and who also have insomnia is very high, so that one’s no surprise either. Especially since I’m one of them. I remember your “Insomnia” post well because it was very funny and one of my favorites.
      I’m sure I’ll be headed your way sometime soon, but in any case, have a great weekend Michelle!

  4. RFL says:

    This is so funny! I have had some sick ones on my Dashboard too, but without a doubt, my most searched term is Thurman Merman because of a Bad Santa post I did early on. Have a great weekend!

    • Thanks! :-) Yep… there’s some folks out there in cyberspace that we can only hope will continue to stay light years away from us. Thurman Merman and Bad Santa, huh? When I do my “once a day, everyday” stop by your blog, I’ll have to check that one out.
      Thanks for stopping by, and wishing you a great weekend too!

  5. mrbrainsplat says:

    Tina Fey is great, and a real hard worker. Have you read her biography book?

    Funny those are the most popular search terms.

    • You mean “Bossypants”? Nope, but I love the cover! It’s just sooo HER! Lol :-) Haven’t read it yet, but “Bossypants” is definitely on my list of required reading.
      Yes that selection is funny, isn’t it… Funny and surprising – well at least in two out of three examples. Lol
      Thanks for stopping by, and Happy Weekend!

  6. Just came across your blog and this post made me laugh. (I’ve read “Bossypants” and think Tina Fey’s a hoot.) Your “Staring at Her Elephant” post is hilarious. I’m new to blogging so don’t have any interesting search terms leading to my blog. Perhaps I need to borrow a page out of your book and work terms like “breasts”, “cleavage” and “naked” into my posts, maybe something like “Ruminating about breasts” but my wife and daughter likely won’t approve. Thanks for sharing you blogging talents!

  7. sparklebumps says:

    Amazingly, cleavage and boobs is not a high-volume search term on my site. Quite surprising, considering the triple DDD’s that reside there….

  8. Ankur Mithal says:

    You could write a book on increasing eyeballs to your Blog. All the folks promising SEO optimisation, paid eyeballs, etc. have nothing on you.

    • Sorry for the very late reply Ankur, but I guess that I missed it back in March. I suppose that I could write a book on increasing eyeballs, but the truth is that this post was more of a happy accident, than a premeditated and well planned effort on my part to increase SEO optimization. But thanks for your comment, because maybe I have talents that I’m unaware of, and these talents could be turned into a financially rewarding career change! Lol ;-)

  9. HaLin says:

    I doff my hat to the canary of the mammary!

    Glad to have discovered you, Chris. I look forward to revisiting (no, it isn’t the mammaries alone).

    • Thanks and now likewise! And no it’s never the mammaries alone, since I try to uncover the full body of work (as in sublime work of art, and I mean hers) in the explorations chronicled in my writing here. Figuratively speaking of course, and I do often. ;-)
      Thanks for stopping by, and I’ll be swinging by your place too.

  10. Found it! Here ya go!!! http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/4385839.Tina_Fey I don’t know if it’s any good (the site), but saved it in my browser for you to peruse at your leisure.

    • Thanks Michelle! Haven’t hit the link yet, but your timing couldn’t have been better! :-) I’m gonna check it out right now.

      • I read the entire first page. It’s all quotes from her recent book, which inexplicably, I haven’t read yet. I think that it’s better to read the book as one flowing and complete work of writing, instead of jumping around with 50 quotes pulled from the book randomly, so this is a good reminder for me to BUY THE BOOK!!! Which I am going to do right now.

        Thanks again, Michelle. :-)

  11. drangedinaz says:

    Omg, just found this and am crying from laughter….thank you, thank you, thank you!

    • You are very welcome and thanks so much for enjoying it. I just finished commenting on one of your posts that really moved me, so thanks for your efforts as well.

  12. lynnkelleyauthor says:

    Oh yes, Chris! This was a great post for you to share the link on Susie’s blog. Thanks for the laughs!

  13. susielindau says:

    This is so FUNNY! I Love, ” I get a truly sick search term that makes me shake my head and really wonder about the true extent of the depravity and mental illness out there.” That pretty much sums it up!

    • Susie, you have NO idea just how much that sums it up, and I’m not going to get into the sordid details of some of my search terms, because they shock even me, and yes that IS possible. Lol

      Thanks so much for stopping by and reading my post, and extra thanks for thinking it’s FUNNY! :-D

  14. Emily says:

    I’m glad I strolled over here from Susie’s blog party because this post is awesome! Very funny!

  15. The Guat says:

    This was a great post. Very funny. I like Tina Fey too … she cracks me up. I imagine myself to be a Guat version of Tina, but only end up like Ugly Betty :) I’m glad you posted this on Susie’s website otherwise I would have never found you. Any other can’t miss posts from you?

    • Thanks for reading it and enjoying it! :-) Yeah, Tina is great and no doubt about it. And you’ll probably find this a shock, but I don’t really know that much about Ugly Betty. Maybe I’d like her too, as well as your imaginary version of Tina that turns into UB. That sounds kinda surreal and I like surreality because it’s much more fun than reality, and I know that it won’t expect me to do yard work.

      Another can’t miss post? Hmm… well I suppose that I should mention that I have some experience as a stand up comic playing gigs in local bars and clubs in the greater Boston area, and some of my posts are based on my stand up routine. This means that there’s a lot of 1:00 am nightclub humor containing sexual innuendo and occasional dropping of F-bombs. But not carpet F-bombing, because unless it’s clever and really funny in a Richard Pryor or Chris Rock way, I think that overuse of the F-bomb means that a comic is trying to make up for weak material with shock value, and I think that’s boring.

      Speaking of boring, are you still awake? Still with me? Cause I’ve been rambling on here, and let’s get to the point. Here’s a link to a post that you might like, and I don’t think it would offend most people. http://wp.me/p221lH-8f Try it out and let me know what you think, and I’ll be paying a visit to your blog soon.

  16. Coleen Patrick says:

    Hi! Stopping by from Susie’s blog–thanks for the laugh (love Tina Fey!) :)

  17. greatmartin says:

    All you nongay guys do id think of sex–no wonder the world is in such a mess!!!

    • LOL – Was the “id” in your comment just a typo? Or are you just feeling Freudian this morning? :-)

      In any case, it IS true, that my “id” does think of sex all the time, and I’m glad, because it makes me happy!

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  19. leekirs1 says:

    Yes, quite humorous! I like your work and will keep reading. Thank you for visiting my blog (?) and checking out my amazingly hilarious posts. A lot of them are on low- carb eating, but I have many others which are not about diet and fitness, thankfully. Naked mole rats are disgusting but strangely interesting nonetheless.

    • Thanks very much, and please do. :-) I’m glad that I visited your blog! Hey I’m even proud of it! And if I had the chance to do it all over again, well I’d go right ahead and do it, and I wouldn’t change a single thing. Except maybe for not reading it… LOL (this will change soon – trust me!)

      Low- carb eating? LMAO! :-) That’s easily the funniest thing I’ve seen all day, and thanks so much for stopping by and sharing it with me! Low- carb eating! Nice try there, but I saw right through it! You know you’re hilarious, and I know your hilarious, so you might as well just stop trying to deny it right now, because all resistance is futile!

      Yes, Naked mole rats are disgusting, with the way that they shamelessly and wantonly flaunt their bodies for just anyone at all who wants to watch them. But yes, it’s true… they are strangely interesting, and someday they might just come to their senses, get dressed and become respectable rats again. Change IS possible, and I will never give up hope…

      • leekirs1 says:

        No, absolutely serious about low-carb eating. I lost 17 pounds and it’s still going. It’s a better way to eat, and live. I do have a very serious side.
        Too serious, some say.

        • Okay, now that I’m in a more serious mood, I can tell you that I knew you were absolutely serious about low-carb eating, and congrats on losing 17 pounds!

          I also have a more serious side, and it showed up big time in my posts today. But after reading a few of your posts on your blog last night, I can see that you have a variety of sides, and I doubt that you are too serious, whatever some may say.

          Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for your reply. :-)

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