I’ve developed this curious habit during the last several days… I keep blogging on other people’s blogs here on WordPress. If you happen to be one of those WP bloggers who’s blog I’ve been blogging on, and I’m starting to really bug ya with it, to the point you start thinking ‘Why doesn’t he just post on his own goddamn blog?!?!’ well I am sincerely sorry, and I’ll try not to do it again.
If you happen to be one of those WP bloggers who’s blog I haven’t been blogging on, and you feel resentful and hurt about it, well drop me an e-mail and we’ll work something out. Other bloggers will think very highly of you for wanting me to blog on your blog, because you will help keep me from blogging on their blogs, and stop bothering them by doing it. Instead of feeling resentful and hurt, you can feel the satisfaction of performing a valuable WP community service; namely that of keeping me away from the other bloggers who are getting sick of me, and my 1,500 word “comments”.
It’s not like I’m a premeditated “blog on other people’s blog” blogger, because I never plan to do it in advance – it just happens… I read a blog that I enjoy, and I go to make a comment, and a thousand or more words later, I’m like ‘Oh shit! I did it again.’ Lately for me, commenting on other folks’ blogs is like lighting a match and getting distracted, then dropping the match into a field of tall dry grass, and soon the whole thing’s on fire! Again. Somebody call the WP Fire Dept so they can put Chris’s out of control comment out!
Another Chris Sheridan blog comment burning out of control!
I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t smoke… I gave up smoking in 1980. Maybe I should give up typing for a while too.
Now I know what a lot of you are thinking. (besides ‘what a self absorbed asshole!’) You are thinking ‘Why don’t you just edit the comment to a more reasonable length, or just delete it altogether, if it gets too long and out of control?’
I think my self editing gene is missing, and I was born without it, or this wouldn’t keep happening. Or maybe I used to have it, but my mind is going and I lost it. Meaning that I lost my editing gene because I’m losing my mind, but maybe I’ve already lost my mind too. I dunno… It does seem to be getting worse, so maybe it is some sort of creeping “serial commenting out of control” dementia. Oh well, I think sanity is overrated anyway. I just don’t want to be a chronic pain in the ass for my fellow bloggers.
Which is why at least I do try to stay on topic with my comments, and I think that I manage to succeed in doing that. I just do it for WAY too long. The content of my comments is not rude or abusive, and sometimes even entertaining, but I think it’s also bad form if I write a comment that is more amusing and entertaining than the blog that I’m commenting on. And it’s really bad form when my comment is longer than the blog I’m commenting on!
But I’m probably just imagining how amusing and entertaining my comments are, in a delusional sort of way. If I substitute the words “annoying and irritating” for “amusing and entertaining” well then I probably just had a brief encounter with reality, and I should try to do that more often.
As far as the idea of just deleting a ridiculously long comment, well why don’t you just ask me to shoot my dog too! Sorry… that was uncalled for. I do put a lot of thought and effort into what I write, and it’s just very hard for me to think about it all just suddenly ceasing to exist. Sorry, but if you think that my marathon comments should just be euthanized, you’ll have to be the one to shoot the dog, and if you do, well I don’t know how you sleep at night!
What kind of monster are you?!
Sorry… again, that was uncalled for. This is my problem and not yours, and I need to keep my emotions in control and right sized. I also need to keep my comments on your blog in control and right sized, or about 1,000 words less than some of them have been lately.
But I do sincerely want to change, and I’m going to work on it. Really work on it and try to do so much more by doing so much less, when I comment on your blog. I don’t want to be forever known as ‘that f*cking guy who keeps blogging on my blog!!!’ So I am going to change by making the changes I need to make, starting right now.
The first change I’m going to make, is that I’m going to stop hanging out so much with Bill Clinton. I mean, I really like the guy, he’s really fun to be around, and Bill and I have a lot of laughs together. But the guy makes my wife nervous when he’s around, and she’s on the edge of an anxiety attack when Bill and I go out for a night on the town.
The guy just makes my wife anxious…
I try to reassure my wife that just cause I’m goin’ out with Clinton, I would never, ever “Monica” her… and maybe I should use a better choice of words to calm her fears, but with a guy like Bill and his reputation, I know that no matter what I say, she just isn’t gonna be okay with me n’ Willy hanging out.
But the real reason that I need to spend far less time with Bill Clinton, is that I know he’s a bad influence on me in another way, that not only affects my wife, but all of you as well. I mean let’s face it – the guy is the King of Long winded! Did you read his book? I mean, I may be bad, but I’ll never be that bad!
Your life may not be long enough to read this book.
As much as I really like Bill, I still gotta remember that this is the guy, who when he gave that ridiculously long key note address at the 1988 Democratic National Convention, he nearly caused the delegates to riot in revolt from having to listen to him go on forever. The biggest and loudest cheer he got during that speech, was when he spoke the words “In closing…”
Bill drives ’em wild in 1988
So in closing, I think that I need some time away from Bill… And hopefully as a result, my comments on your blogs will get shorter, and we’ll all be happier.
Thank you my fellow bloggers! God bless you all, and God bless WordPress!