Adventures in Chat Part 4 – The Therapy Session

Another especially memorable online chat session with my Australian girlfriend, whom I have known and laughed with for over ten years.  See yesterday’s post if you’re curious about our “relationship” which has always been platonic, but still a very deep and wonderful ongoing friendship.

Warning: The following is a conversation between two adults, containing humorous sexual content and the occasional F -bomb. If you are likely to get offended, then don’t read any further here.

Jul 27 2:27 PM

Chris: You have no idea how much good you are doing me! I just fired my therapist this morning, because you have helped me more in just a few days, than she has in years!

Jul 27 2:28 PM

alongbine: lol Are you sure that you still don’t need her?

Jul 27 2:28 PM

Chris: Nah… she’s been gaining weight, and the thrill was fading for me.

Jul 27 2:29 PM

alongbine: lmao

Jul 27 2:29 PM

alongbine: Staring at her from the couch doesn’t do it for you anymore?

Jul 27 2:29 PM

alongbine: Is she crossing her legs less??

Jul 27 2:30 PM

alongbine: Or is it that her thighs have gotten to the point that when she does, the view is blocked?

Jul 27 2:30 PM

Chris: No, staring up at her from the couch, while she’s on top of me, has been losing it’s thrill.

Jul 27 2:30 PM

alongbine: lmao Getting harder for you to breathe…

Jul 27 2:30 PM

Chris: I always seduce my therapists. How else can we have a meaningful relationship?

Jul 27 2:31 PM

Chris: Plus, she charges just as much as a high class call girl, so why not?

Jul 27 2:31 PM

alongbine: lol How true!

Jul 27 2:31 PM

alongbine: I had a really fantastic therapist back in Texas. She changed my life and gave me the strength to do what I should have done a lot sooner – Leave my asshole husband!

Jul 27 2:32 PM

Chris: Did you have great sex with her?

Jul 27 2:32 PM

alongbine: lol No… I don’t seek professional help in the same way that you do.

Jul 27 2:32 PM

Chris: Oh, okay. I just thought that having great sex with her may have been what convinced you to leave your asshole husband.

Jul 27 2:33 PM

alongbine: No, I’m not into women, and you know that.

Jul 27 2:33 PM

Chris: Then why didn’t you find a hot male therapist? Great sex with him could have convinced you to leave even sooner.

Jul 27 2:33 PM

alongbine: lol You do realise that you are seriously fucked in the head, right?

Jul 27 2:33 PM

Chris: No, it was my therapist that was fucked in the head, and repeatedly.

Jul 27 2:33 PM

alongbine: lmao I don’t know why I even try to make sense with you!

Jul 27 2:34 PM

Chris:  I do – It’s because of my animal magnetism and charisma.

Jul 27 2:34 PM

alongbine: Or maybe you are just an animal. A very grotty and dirty barnyard animal! lmao

Jul 27 2:34 PM

Chris: Which is why you find me so irresistible.

Jul 27 2:34 PM

alongbine: No, It is why I would take a bull whip to you if you were within range! lmao

Jul 27 2:35 PM

Chris: Really? Now those some very intense feelings! I think that you should discuss this with your hot male therapist – after having great sex of course.

Jul 27 2:35 PM

alongbine: You’re impossible!!!

Jul 27 2:35 PM

Chris: Not really… I’m actually very approachable and frequently available too. ;-)

Jul 27 2:35 PM

alongbine: Poor Jean… I don’t know how she ever manages it – being married to you.

Jul 27 2:36 PM

Chris: What does Jean have to do with this convo? She’s not a therapist.

Jul 27 2:36 PM

alongbine: No, but I would wager that you have driven her to see one! lmao

Jul 27 2:36 PM

Chris: That is absolutely NOT true! I make her walk to her therapy sessions instead – It’s called tough love and just what she really needs!

Jul 27 2:37 PM

alongbine: LMAO!!! OMG whatever you are on, could you please send some to me?!

Jul 27 2:37 PM

alongbine: Ned to stop fr a ninute lauhng so hard I cannot breath Or evn type!

Jul 27 2:37 PM

Chris: Well I can see that, and stop calling me Ned! Are you OK? Maybe you better take several minutes and take it easy.

Jul 27 2:38 PM

Chris: Making people die laughing is just an expression and I’d never want it to really happen!

Jul 27 2:39 PM

Chris: Hey you! Talk to me! You’re starting to scare me… Say something.

Jul 27 2:39 PM

alongbine: If I ever do die laughing because of you, I swear I will come back to haunt you!

Jul 27 2:39 PM

Chris: Well we can’t have that happen. Because then I’d really need to see a therapist!

Jul 27 2:39 PM

Chris: But not unless she’s a really hot one and will have great sex with me…

Jul 27 2:40 PM

alongbine: Chris I think I need to go lie down. You have literally worn me out frm laughing. PML once again!

Jul 27 2:40 PM

Chris: You’re not the first woman that I’ve worn out, and you sure won’t be the last.

Jul 27 2:40 PM

alongbine: Is that because the women all laugh at you? No wonder you need to have sex with your therapist. lmao

Jul 27 2:41 PM

Chris: Hey you! Didn’t you say you needed to lie down?

Jul 27 2:41 PM

alongbine: Yes and now I am going to do it. But I had to break your balls first. After all this you deserve it! lmao Byeeeeeee

Jul 27 2:41 PM

Chris: Bye Bye! And I think very highly of you too! But get some rest cause you need more staying power to keep up with me.

Jul 27 2:42 PM

alongbine: Fuck off Rat bag! Signing off now… Byeeeeeee……

Jul 27 2:42 PM

Chris:  And she’s going… going… GONE!!! But not without our traditional farewell – it always brings a tear to my eye. Lol ;-)

 

About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
This entry was posted in Humor, Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Adventures in Chat Part 4 – The Therapy Session

  1. greatmartin says:

    ‘Warning: The following is a conversation between two adults, containing humorous sexual content and the occasional F -bomb. If you are likely to get offended, then don’t read any further here.’
    Guess I can’t read it–2 adults talking????? How boring!!!!!

    • Well excuse me, but if you DO read it, you’ll find that the two adults talking are very young at heart, and not at all boring. At least not for each other… or for most people with a sense of humor.

      And I do know that you do have a sense of humor, Martin, as well as being young at heart yourself – so you might want to give this one a try… Lol :-)

      • greatmartin says:

        I didn’t say I DIDN’T read it–see 2 negatives make a positive (or something like that!)

        • Now it sounds like you are getting into physics, which was a subject that I always struggled with in my days of higher (while often high) education. What you said reminds me of that physics exam question asking me to “explain why a body that is in motion stays in motion.” My answer of “Because it feels really good!” cost me a passing grade! And to this day, I STILL think I had the right answer!!!

          But thanks for reading my post – even if you did confuse me with your fancy science jargon, Show Off! LOL :-D

  2. GOF says:

    I’ve had a wonderful 10-year strictly platonic email friendship with a lady in Canada.
    We share so many thoughts and emotions that we would never do in a face-to-face situation.
    It’s been a rewarding addition to my life.

    • I think that there’s probably more than a few of us out there in cyberspace with these kinds of friendships, which is a paradox to me, because online communication creates a buffer zone that isn’t there when people interact face to face. This online buffer zone can be a double edged sword, because if people use it excessively in their interaction with others, face to face interpersonal skills can become stunted and insensitive as a result.

      And yet, as you and I both know, that same online buffer zone can bring people much closer together and more likely to express their real feelings, because the buffer zone helps them to feel less inhibited and insecure about deeply personal revelations of who they really are, assuming that the people involved are both being honest with each other.

      As an online friendship becomes more long term, a genuine compassion for each other grows stronger, as a deep level of mutual trust and acceptance develops. Then as each reveals even more of themselves to the other, over an increasingly longer period of time, online friendships can become much deeper and far closer than our closest face to face friendships.

      I’m happy for you, that you have also had a deep and meaningful online friendship for ten years, and that you also feel as I do, that it has been a rewarding addition to your life. Thank you for sharing your experience.

      • greatmartin says:

        And I can call you names and you can’t do a thing about it—that’s why there are longer lasting relationships on the Internet than in real life–Chris, I know this will shock you but this is NOT real life!!!!!

        • Well, I can also call you a name, and just watch me do it right now! I can call you a presumptuous fool, who is foolish enough to think he understands the reality or unreality of a ten year long relationship that he has no knowledge of whatsoever. And just as the fool is blind to his own great gaping gulf of ignorance, he is also blind enough to think that he can pass an accurate judgment on circumstances of which he knows absolutely nothing about.

          It is YOU who is not real in this situation, because YOU are completely out of your depth, and out of touch with our reality. This is absolutely a variation of my real life and part of her real life as well, and you have no credibility here when you write words that are bankrupt of any true understanding. Your words only serve to broadcast to all who can read them, the blatantly obvious arrogance of your own state of ignorance.

  3. Karen H. says:

    LOL Thank you for pointing me to your blog. I loved reading this post and now I am off to read more. I enjoy people who are wordsmiths and truly enjoy a good obfuscation!! I totally agree and understand that online relationships can be as real online and they are in RL, if not more. There is something about the anonymity of the internet that leads to baring of souls in a way that perhaps cannot be achieved face to face, even with a therapist, hot or not!! :) Keep writing, know that there are many others out there like you who have carried on relationships online for years and are perfectly well balanced. I play an online game Second Life, where I have met many friends across the country and around the world — from Australia and Germany, for example. It is a virtual world where meeting each other would have been impossible otherwise and it is a delight and a thrill to meet people of both genders. Some of us are planning a meeting soon in real life and it will be so much fun! Enjoy your relationship and I’m so glad I saw your comment on the Mental Ward blog. I’ll be back! Check out my blog too, if you’ve of a mind. :)

    • Glad that you showed up, and thanks for reading and enjoying! The internet is like many tools available for our use, in that we can use it in a positive or destructive way, depending upon how we use it. I know that there are, as you say, many others with long term online relationships that are healthy additions to their lives in RL. There are other online involvements that are not so positive, but again, that is specific to the people involved, and to make an indictment of all online relationships because some of them are bad, is narrow minded and stupid.

      Like you, I also think that it is very cool to have fun with people from other countries via online, that would have been impossible without online contact. I also know that online friends often meet in real life and have a great time together, because I’ve had that experience, and I know that you’ll also have lots of fun when you get to meet with your online friends face to face.

      Thanks again for stopping by, and I’ll be headed over to your blog soon. :-)

  4. Ahhhhh brilliant, lmao! I still avidly read your blog young man so I am well aware of your antics but just have less time these days to post cheeky comments .. wanted to say hi tho since it’s been forever since I last did.. She sounds as cool as I imagined her to be, for an Ocker, that is ;)

    • Well I’m glad to know that you are still lurking around here, and feel free to lurk as much as you like. :-) But I do appreciate you saying “Hi” all the same.

      Yes, I think that she is quite cool, and that she also has great endurance as well as patience to be able to put up with me for over ten years! Lol ;-)

      Oh, and she sends her regards to you as well… Lol

  5. benzeknees says:

    You sure jumped on your soapbox with one commenter! I think being anonymous helps friendships develop on the web. Knowing what I know about you, I doubt if we would be friends in real life because you would wear me out with your humor. But when I can limit your humor to when I have time to read your posts & comments, I enjoy our friendship very much. Keep it up Chris! (your comments I mean, as if you didn’t just jump right to an inappropriate conclusion)

    • greatmartin says:

      Sadly he can’t–jump to that conclusion–I know him–I can say that LOL
      Glad to see someone else can pick on him–I was tired of being the only one!!!

      • Martin my friend… (and yes, I do mean that) I am sorry for my massive overreaction to your 2nd to last comment here on May 7th, and please accept my sincere appology.

    • Lynda, that comment was way over the top, and an example of a response in which the intensity was seriously out of proportion to the content of the comment I reacted to. The appropriate apologies will soon be made…

      As far as how I am with friends in real life, I do have the ability to dial down my sense of humor to the appropriate level when I know that this would be appreciated by others. I like to be entertaining, but I don’t enjoy being obnoxious to people with humor that they don’t enjoy.

      Thanks for your comments and thanks for your ongoing friendship – It is mutual. :-)

  6. Muhammad says:

    cool i love it ……….

  7. Pingback: Adventures in Chat Part 5 – The Naked Truth! | Word Play

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