Too HOT To Handle???

A blogging friend that I recently discovered, who has a fun loving personality as big as the state of Colorado where she lives, wrote a post today called I Am So Hot! and you should read it. You should read Susie’s other posts too, cause she’s fast becoming a favorite of mine, cause she’s fun and outrageous, but unlike me, she is this way in an amusingly humorous and classy kind of way that I admire, even though it is seldom my own style, which can be classy, but usually isn’t…

She’s also been patient with me, and with some of my comments on her posts, which have been potentially humorous, but also borderline… well, you know…

After reading a recent comment of mine on one of her posts, Susie was quick to reply “Hahahahahahaha! You are so sick and wrong Chris and I LOVE it!”

Any woman who has the ability to say this to me, and to really mean every word of it, will endear herself to me, but only in a matrimonially nonthreatening kind of way, of course. Lol

When I read Susie’s post for today, I Am So Hot! I thought that you should also read it, and yes there will be a test, cause I’ll be going back to her blog to look for proof that you read it, and those of you who pass the test, will have a very good chance of getting some public love of your own blogs posted here on mine, and soon. BTW, “likes” alone won’t cut it… I wanna see some comments.

But when I read Susie’s post for today, it also inspired me to write a long comment, and sometimes a comment is good enough to rise above being just a comment, and graduate to becoming a post. I think that the following is a good example…

How do I handle the heat? AC Baby… AC all the way. AC in my car, AC in my office, AC in my home office, and most of all, AC in my bedroom, cause it gets hot enough in there already, as it is…

If I go outside for any length of time at all, it’s only to go swimming. I’m a cold weather model, cause I’m hot blooded, and 99 to 100 degrees like we may hit during the peak of the heat here today, here in steaming Beantown, just ain’t my outdoor scene at all.

Some women have told me that a good looking guy sweating, is hot and sexy. Well, I’ve been a good looking guy sweating, and I didn’t feel hot and sexy at all! I just felt very hot, uncomfortable and sweaty, and NOT in the mood!

Swimming is where it’s at for me, for outdoor activities when it’s above 90 degrees.

This New England ocean water is about 56 degrees, and since our bodies lose heat in water many times faster than in the air, it feels ice cold beyond bearable for many folks. But during a high 90s heatwave, this feels like ‘home sweet home’ to me!

Cause I really AM hot blooded, and early in our relationship, my wife told me that she was very attracted to me, because of my warmth. But she didn’t mean my warm personality; no, she meant my hot body heat, cause she gets cold easily, and she liked to snuggle up close to the rising warmth from my high RPM high heat internal combustion engine. I’m a hard driving 12 cylinder model of a man, with a standard but exceptional transmission and 5 speeds, driven by a smooth handling big stick that will thrust you into overdrive in 3.5 seconds, but keep you there for much longer, and always for as long as you need…


I also drive this Mustang to work every day, and you know what I love the most about that? Hot babes casting admiring glances at me and my hot wheels? Well that’s always nice, but no, that’s not it… No, what I love the most about driving my Mustang… is the frustrated and pissed off looks that I get from male BMW drivers, who although they know that their BMWs cost them four times as much as my Mustang cost me – they are still forced to admit to themselves, that my car is much cooler than theirs, and it always will be… Eat it, Shitheads!!! (BMW drivers, who are almost exclusively male, have a very long and hostile history with me, across many years… Maybe someday I’ll explain it in a post.)


See all that steam in the background? Some people think that a Hawaiian volcano caused that hot steam to rise. But nah, it was really me…

When my wife first told me how attracted she was to my body heat, I smiled at her and said, “Well baby, you could save yourself a lot of trouble, by just buying yourself a man sized hot water bottle, and I hear that they have ‘em on sale at LL Bean right now… But I can tell that you’re the kinda woman who secretly craves my kind of trouble, so you just stick close to me, and you’re sure to find it…”

Cold morning out in the mountains – Hot tent inside… ;-)

Actually, I didn’t really tell her that, at least not that time, cause we weren’t married yet, and I was still doing my best to close the deal. I knew that soon after she said “I do.” and when it was too late, there would be time for that sort of talk, as well as all that would follow… after she put on my ring and the sale was final.

Done deal… Yes, that’s really her, and it’s one of my favorite photos of her, that I’ve taken. She had her head in my lap, and I thought my 35 mm lens SLR film camera was too close to get a clear focus, but it worked…

But to give credit where credit is definitely due, my wife also did quite a skillful job of closing the deal on me, too.

Before I first met my wife to be, my best friend and I were double dating the LeClaire twins on a regular basis. I was dating Monique, here on the left, and my buddy Steve was dating Claudine. There were some nights that they tried switching on us, but we never let on that we always knew… cause we didn’t want them to ever stop doing it. ;-) But soon after meeting my wife to be, I soon forgot all about the LeClaire sisters… and weep not for Monique, because she got over me real fast, and I was replaced in a heartbeat… and no one was very surprised.

So Jean and I got married… and soon after our wedding, she found out that she married a guy who did stuff like this, on a regular basis…

The tree that I’m about to smash hard into, is not in the frame… But things worked out very well for us anyway, in spite of many things like this…

But now back to the present, and back to my comment on Susie’s post…

I do like your very positive spin on playing 100 degree tennis, Susie… It’s kinda charming in a masochistic kinda way, and me and my buddy The Marquis Du Sade would enjoy watching you play… from our plushly upholstered seats in our luxuriously air conditioned sky box, of course.

Just one more thing… Just want you to know that this ain’t no “Fifty Shades of Grey” flash in the pan, mommy porn, ripped off from fan fiction here. No way! This is Chris Sheridan from “Word Play; A Place for Pleasurable Procrastination” and when I say that I don’t fool around, well I don’t mean it!


About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
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21 Responses to Too HOT To Handle???

  1. greatmartin says:

    Not that I would notice but what’s with all the sexy men–for a change!!! Who is that ‘steamy’ guy???

    • I guess that I was going for some balance, Martin. (and have fun with THAT comment! lol) But with the numerous photos of hot women appearing in my posts, I thought that maybe I should go the other way (lol again) and include some sexy men this time – both for my female readers, and for alternative life stylers too.

      No idea who the ‘steamy guy’ is… he just seemed appropriately steamed to make my point. Lol ;-)

  2. susielindau says:

    Oh My God! Thank you so much. Wow!
    First of all, I am going to print this out and frame it! Chris you are hilarious. I laughed all the way through. I am glad you understand my sense of humor. We are obviously on the same wavelength.
    Love the photos! I am impressed that you pulled this together so fast! Your spell check is working fine today…
    Thanks again for the shout out! Your check is in the mail. LOL!

    • “OMG!” Yeah, I get that a lot, but I still never get tired of hearing it. ;-) You are ever so welcome, and thank YOU for having a sense of humor that can live with mine, even after this! Lol :-) Yes, we must be on the same wavelength, but I’ll still try to respect your sensibilities, so that doesn’t suddenly change… (for real)

      Thanks for reading and thanks for your generously appreciative comment, and of course, thanks for following me too. This is a GOOD thing… cause women who follow me, are less likely to take out restraining orders on me, when I keep following them around. (kidding! never happened yet, and that’s a standard I’m proud to hang on to!)

      • susielindau says:

        It’s good to have standards… :)

        • Oh yes indeed! It’s very good to have standards, and especially for a guy like me, cause I WANT to know when I’m behaving like a swine, so I also know when to stop it… Cause it’s the human male pigs who are clueless about standards, who end up getting slaughtered… Lol

          • susielindau says:

            Hey! Do you have a Twitter account? I got you in the Paperli The WANA1011 Daily is out! ▸ Top stories today via @SusieLindau @KarenMcFarland_

            • Well Susie, you’re gonna think that I’m a 2012 form of primitive man, when I tell you that I don’t have a Twitter account, and my only defense is, well, you’ve seen the typical length of my blog comments, so I’m not sure how well only 140 characters and I would work out. Lol

              But thanks most kindly for the plug, and I’ll see if I can check out that link! :-)

              • susielindau says:

                140 would really hem you in! I think I figured out your … anyway! Hahaha!

              • You figured out my…? Why Susie, I thought that only my wife knew what my… is! Well, okay, so my ex-wife (since 1984) also knows what my… is, too. And then I guess there’s all those ex-girlfriends of mine, whom I know that however many years it’s been since we were last together, each and every one of them has never forgotten what my… is, either, since those kind of memories last a lifetime.

                Hey, which reminds me, I’m planning an ex-girlfriend reunion this coming September, and it will be held in Madison Square Garden, because I think the seating capacity there, is just under what will be needed if everyone shows up.

                And Susie, even though you are not one of my ex-girlfriends, you are invited! Why? Because you figured out what my… is! And just HOW did you manage to do that? Are you psychic? Or did somebody tell you on Twitter? LOL :-D

            • Ms. Susie Lindau, YOU are most amazing! And thank you! You can be sure that the one hand washing the other joke from yesterday; the one that I was too polite to finish with the crude but funny punch line, is still the way things will continue to work for us – even without the crude but funny punch line! :-)

  3. Some more of your wonderfully interesting past is revealed in your post. I’m loving that you swing from ropes on a regular basis. I try to do that as much as possible. Like your better half I also like a heat generating man (he’s coming in very handy right now in winter) and luckily found one!

    When you mentioned in your post that you were going to explain how you handle the heat, I thought it would be a metaphoric heat, not the physical kind. More along the lines of the banter heat from women, I was waiting to get some pointers from the pro. Oh well, there may be another blog post in that. I’m off to do the assignment you set and visit Susie’s blog. In the meantime, stay cool and sweat free :).

    • Yeah, I swing from ropes, and swing from tree branches, but NOT from chandeliers, cause those things are expensive, and people get angry when you swing on them at their parties, and cause one to come crashing down and take out the wine rack along with it… Just not worth all the chaos and bad vibes this usually causes, no matter how much fun it is… Sigh!

      Glad to hear that you and your guy are also internal thermostat compatible, and I don’t doubt that more than a few relationships got some extra chemistry of attraction in this particular way.

      How to handle the heat of banter with women? Well, tell me more about the women you are interested in, and I’ll tell you more about how to handle them… Fair enough? Lol ;-) Or just read more of my back pages, cause I’m sure you’ll find a wealth of information in there.

      Hey, just want you to know that I haven’t forgotten that you were very generous with me recently, with some awards, and thank you again. I also want to let you know that my awards post will be next on deck, and following this one. Thanks again for reading and for commenting! :-)

  4. Elyse says:

    If I say I Like it down here, does it count? Now I’m over to see this wild post you referenced. Because the 2,014 I have in my inbox can wait. :)

    • ONLY 2,014 unread posts in your inbox??? Elyse, you slacker! Lol :-) And yes, saying “I like it down here.” will always count here, all things considered, and considering the level of the source! Lol ;-) Hey, not sure if you noticed, Elyse, but there’s some blogger who just showed up on my blog roll the other day, and I think she’s trying to rip off your good name! I’ll definitely have a stern word with her, on your behalf!

      • Elyse says:

        Chris, are you saying that I just showed up there? Or do I have an evil twin. I am writing this comment in one of those evil Word Press bubbles, so I can see nothing else.

        • Not sure… but after my just recently mentioned history with twins, I find the possibility of you having an evil twin kinda exciting, Elyse… ;-) Unless she’s so evil that she’s into Fox News and Tea Partying… in which case, all bets are off!

  5. GOF says:

    I hope you visit here one day Chris….I’d really like one of those steaming hot springs in my backyard….it would add to the resale value, but just don’t stay too long….I’d hate for your hotness to precipitate volcanic action on a larger scale. :-)

    Very entertaining story.

  6. I hope that I visit where you are one day too, since it’s been a goal and a dream of mine for many years, due to my love for scuba diving and long fascination with The Great Barrier Reef. I don’t think we were reading each others blogs yet, this past April 1st, when my dream became an April Fools joke post, that first appeared to be absolutely serious and true, but then became a joke, but a joke that was still mainly the truth, and still is true now.

    Here’s the link if you want to check it out, but first, a fair warning – there’s a certain photo at the end, that you may not enjoy seeing, and I’m still not sure where my mind was, when I posted it. Viewing this photo may be more disturbing than any capability I have for causing a disturbingly large volcanic event in Queensland.

    • GOF says:

      Was it Seinfeld who said “there is good nudity and there is bad nudity”? or words to that effect. :-)
      I have a life principle of never submerging my head underwater, but I hear the Great Barrier Reef is still one of the best diving locations in the world.

      • Whether it was Seinfeld who said it or not, it is an eternal truth and a point well taken, so please accept my apology for the assault on your eyes and your mind, and know it will never be repeated. Lol

        Great Barrier Reef… Someday I’ll get there, and when I do, I’ll be strategically clothed and covering the places that must remain unseen at all times, unless hidden from public view inside our accommodations.

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