Moving to Australia

I’ve decided to take everything about my life right now, and just chuck it! Because my life no longer makes sense to me. I’m 55 years old now, and last night I asked myself, is this how everything was supposed to work out? Is this the life I’m really supposed to be living? Or is the life that I find myself in now, just the end result of a long series of random accidents, strange coincidences and questionable decisions? Did I let life just happen to me, instead of steering in a clear direction towards well defined goals?

As I really think about it, my life is just a big random collection of things that happened to me, and the end result of how I reacted to all these events, instead following any kind of life plan. So here I sit, in the middle of a life not of my choosing, but the life that just happened to me.

I had the right idea back when I was 29, when I was serious about getting my PADI Dive Master & Instructor training and planning to move to Australia so I could become a guide for tourists diving the Great Barrier Reef. Get a second job and save up some money with the goal of eventually opening my own dive shop. Spend the rest of my life diving the warm and clear amazing tropical waters of the largest coral reef in all the world. Now there was a plan!

I was absolutely serious about doing all this… that is until I met my future wife on a New England shore dive. We fell in love and eventually got married. She had deep roots here, so the Australia plan was shelved… indefinitely and then permanently.

But just because I’m 55 doesn’t mean I can’t resurrect this plan. Hell NO!!! I really thought about all this last night and now I’ve come to a final decision. I’m giving two weeks notice at work, and putting the house on the market. My wife Jean? Well she has a decision of her own to make. She can either do this with me, or she can make other arrangements, legal and otherwise. It’s all up to her. But I hope she can decide soon, because I won’t wait for her very long.

This is really going to happen. It’s what I should have done back when I originally planned it, and now it’s what I’m going to do, without any further delay or distractions. This is a done deal.

It all became crystal clear for me in a dream last night… In my dream, I had just completed the most beautiful and amazing tropical dive of my life, and I was starting my ascent. But suddenly something big grabbed my leg really hard and wouldn’t let me go! It was pulling me down deep into the depths, as I watched my depth gauge read 100 feet… 150 feet… 250 feet! 350 feet!!! Everything was going dark as this relentless thing continued to pull my leg!





Just like I’m pulling yours right now…



The only thing going “down under” is on my A side, which is beneath my B side in this picture! LOL


About Chris Sheridan

I’m a 56 year old guy who is young (and immature) at heart, and I love humor and laughter. Married for 22 years, but still enjoy all the glories of womanhood everywhere, even while dedicated to one woman only - and I hope my wife never finds out about her!
This entry was posted in Adventure, Humor, Personal, Scuba Diving, Travel and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Moving to Australia

  1. greatmartin says:

    You should have only looked so good at 25 let alone 55!!!
    When I saw your headline I figured I better warn Maria and my friend Peter and his partner Hans so they could move to New Zealand!!!
    APRIL FOOL’S–but I’m not saying which is and which isn’t!!!! LOL

    • Martin, I’m going to take that as a sincere compliment coming from you. Taking a page out of your personal play book, I’m going to dispense with all modesty, and say that at least from this view, I look better now at 55 than I did at 25. When I was 25 I was a dedicated distance runner, and I was quite thin with much less muscle mass than I have now, since in my later years I’ve put much more effort into weight training and bulking up my upper body, and it shows. So no need to frighten your friends into moving to another country… Lol ;-)

  2. That water looks absolutely horrible, Chris! I really think you SHOULD move, if only to take better photos!

    • Thanks for saying it was the WATER that looks absolutely horrible… Lol ;-)

      Actually, it’s not as bad as it looks – again meaning the water. *smirk* This was taken in Olympic National Park in WA State after a heavy rain, and the normally crystal clear water of the river was clouded up with runoff sediment. Eight miles of backpacking in 98 degree heat (a record high for that day) made that water look like heaven to me!

  3. Uh, huh. The Hobbler got me today. No more. Plus, you have April Fools joke written all over your blog… silly boy.

    • Your right heel looks like it either has a big ol’ slice in it, or it is some mutated hoof.

      • A big ol’ “slice” in it…? Are you sure you are looking at my feet? ;-)

        I’ll deal with you later, or else my wife will deal with me right now, and it won’t be fun! Dinner is getting cold and I am in danger!

      • Now I wonder where WP will put this reply?
        Michelle: Concerning my right heel – well I could say “April Fools!!!” Or I could say that “I thought I already told you that I have cloven hooves for feet.” Lol ;-)

        Or I could say, “I don’t know why my right heel came out like that – some “exposures” *snicker* do weird things with light and shadow.”

        Or I could say “None of the above is true – and no further comment”

    • Michelle: For some reason, WP won’t let me put my reply under yours that says : “Plus, you have April Fools joke written all over your blog…”

      To which I say: Well, maybe so. But what is an April Fools Joke today, could be tomorrow’s reality… Not literally tomorrow, but possibly a tomorrow that becomes today in the not too distant future. The only thing that was overwritten in this post, was the implication that I’d consider leaving without my wife – because I’d never do that. The rest of it is dead on, more than you’d be able to know, without knowing a lot more…

  4. Summer says:

    You totally had me until you said you didn’t care if your wife came with you. Your readers know you better than that mister.
    Your dream of becoming a dive instructor in Australia reminds me of my dream of moving to the Florida Keys. I was actually offered a teaching position there. It seemed like a dream come true until I realized that a teacher’s salary there would have me living in a) a trailer or b) a roach filled studio apartment in a run-down motel. I had to decline – sometimes dreams are much better than the reality of it all.
    I’m sure you are still trying to figure out a way to make it to Australia with your wife as I’m still plotting an feasible way to make it to the Keys! It’s what keeps us going :)

    • *Smiles* It’s true that my writing has made no secret about how I really feel about my wife – even with all my goings on about Tina Fey. Lol

      You are a realist Summer, and you did well to recognize how the gap between your income and what you really wanted, would affect the reality of your life experience, as you tried to live your dream. A lot of people are unable to do that, and end up very unhappy as a result.

      And yep, I’m still trying to work out a way to make my Australian dream happen, and no, it won’t happen without my wife. ;-)
      Good luck with your feasibility study to make it to the Keys, and yes, I also know that the hope of working towards a better life, instead of settling for less than what we really want, is what makes it worth getting out of bed early on a monday morning to start another work week.
      Thanks for stopping by.

    • benzeknees says:

      This is where I caught on too – I knew darn well you would never leave your wife after the post you wrote at Valentines! If you want to fool us Chris, you gotta remember what you’ve told your readers already to make it believable! Ha, ha anyway.

      • You are absolutely right Lynda. Which is why, except for an occasional April Fools prank, that honesty is the best policy. Best in most cases to tell the truth, because it is easier to remember! :-)
        But it is still quite possible that I could leave for Australia for real, but entirely impossible that I would ever leave without my wife.
        Thanks as always for stopping by!

  5. RFL says:

    Jeeze I’m gullible. You had me until you released my trusting leg :)

    • I wouldn’t call you gullible at all – not after reading a fair amount of your posts, which I always enjoy, and I’m betting that the next time I pull your leg, your leg will be wise to me, and know that I’m being wise with you! ;-)

  6. PiedType says:

    You had me until you mentioned leaving your wife. You had me because I dreamed all my life of moving to Colorado and living in or near the mountains. Seven years ago, at age 62, I realized that I was retired and divorced and no longer had any restraints and I moved to Denver. You’ve got 7 years …

    • Thanks for sharing your experience. Good to know I’ve got 7 years, but it may be sooner than that. There’s that saying that “Many a truth is told in jest”. Well, ever since I wrote this exercise in jesting, the truth is that my mind has been repeatedly coming back to it, and I’m beginning to believe that I really want to do this. And of course my wife would be coming with me. This could be an interesting year…

  7. Elyse says:

    Hi Chris,
    I’m behind on my reading so I already knew this was a hoax from your comment on my post. But you may well have the right idea.

    Although in the picture you already are ready for the new Supreme Court precedent. It’s harder to drive that way, though.

    • It’s harder to drive that way? Well, actually I’ve done it before, but that was of my own free will, and NOT because 5 conservative judges with a right wing agenda, have taken away my right to wear clothing and given my rights to the police. Thanks for stopping by, Elyse.

  8. Nikita says:

    Silly Billy, first thought it can’t be true – what you said about your wife – then thought ok, maybe it’s a joke. You almost got me! :)

    • After reading through all the comments here, now including yours, I’m thinking that it’s a good thing that I don’t almost “have” my wife as many times as I almost had other women here with this prank. I’d be getting very frustrated by now, and I feel very fortunate that this is not really the case. ;-)
      Thanks for stopping by today frequently – you’re kinda fun and you’re starting to grow on me. :-D

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