Once again today, another one of my favorite bloggers, Sheena, on her blog Facehookin’ wrote a hilarious as well as educational post called Facts About The Penes Sheena is one of the very first bloggers I followed early last December, when I first started blogging on WordPress. While Sheena is a sarcastically funny and very original writer of humor, who has been making me laugh for over seven months now, she’s also got range and her more serious posts make for some very riveting reading as well.
When I read Sheena’s post for today, which she begins with the subject of Diphallia, a very rare medical condition that results in a male being born with not one, but two penises, I couldn’t resist dredging up a certain memory of mine, from when I was 13 years old and in 8th grade while in Junior High School.
Here is my comment on Sheena’s post, and Sheena, I hope that you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me. I also hope that the rest of my readers here, especially the women, since I know the guys won’t have a problem with it, will also forgive me for taking my comment and turning it into a post, since this may be an ill advised and massive over-share on my part.
But since when has that ever stopped me before?
So here goes!
I feel very fortunate to say that the closest I ever came to “penile duplication” was when in 8th grade, they forced the boys and girls gym classes to combine, in order to teach us “Ballroom Dancing” together.
Knowing all too well at the time, I had an unpredictable member that would often rise to the occasion in public and at the worst possible time, I tried to prepare in advance for an unwanted appearance of that all too obvious diagonal and upward bulge in the left side of my pants.
And how did I prepare? By bringing along a roll of quarters in my back pocket, that I could quickly move into my right front pocket, so if one eyed willie got obvious by making me look unbalanced on my left side, I could use the roll of quarters on my right side, and then at least I’d look symmetrical, and my true condition would look less obvious. Or so I thought…
But on “Ball Room Dancing” day in the gym, my plan turned into a humiliating disaster when I actually tried it. When the girl who was to be my dancing partner approached me close enough to see, her eyes instantly grew wide as she screamed “OH MY GAWD! HE’S GOT TWO OF ‘EM!!!” and she ran screaming away in terror!
The next 4-1/2 years of high school were very hard for me, and there’s still some people laughing even to this day, whenever they remember my hilarious for them, but humiliating for me, “Ball Room Dancing” day disaster! :-(
There have been times in my life when I’ve thought that the message here, has been my life’s true purpose…