Hi, I’m not feeling myself today. Because my wife told me it’s a rude thing to do in public, and to just stop it right now! But now, not feeling myself has put me in a bad mood!
And if that isn’t bad enough, I just stopped at my favorite Starbucks, and the power went down and they can’t make any coffee!!! But I’m stuck here, and can’t leave, because I’m supposed to meet a friend here, and she is LATE! This is the sort of thing that can just really bring out the beast in me!!!
Just found out that the power went out, because some idiot in a moving truck just hit and knocked down the corner traffic light! He didn’t suffer any injuries from the accident, but he’s now in serious condition because I just badly mauled him. I may have to leave soon, because I’m sure that the police will soon arrive… I hate days like this!!!
Oh, too late – the police are already here. Those cops better be packin’ silver bullets, or I’m gonna make ’em all wish they kept their fat asses parked at Dunkin’ Donuts!
Well this day just keeps going from bad, to much worse!!!
I never DID get any coffee! When the police showed up, I had to run off. But just before that, one of them got me very angry by telling me that I was a shiftless bum who needed a shower and a shave, so I ran all the way to the Dunkin Donuts next to the police station, and knocked down the traffic light on the corner, (did it without being in a vehicle) which shut down their power, and now they can’t have any coffee either!
When I’m feeling seriously decaffeinated and in my current state, no one , not even the police, should go out of their way to PISS ME OFF!!! GRRRR!!!
I’m feeling much better now! I finally got my coffee, and although I’m still a werewolf, I’m no longer a seriously caffeine deprived werewolf in an exceptionally bad mood!
I ran to the Starbucks in the next town, charged through the door (didn’t bother to open it) and bellowed “GIVE ME A VENTI BOLD RED EYE RIGHT NOW, AND NOBODY GETS HURT!!!” I’ve never seen the people behind the counter at Starbucks move so fast! Lol
I guess I forgot that you folks here don’t know that I’m a werewolf and when the moon is full, the beast in me comes raging out. Normally, I don’t turn into a werewolf until well after dark, at the stroke of midnight. But being cruelly deprived of coffee earlier, caused the beast in me to come raging out in broad daylight and 10 hrs ahead of schedule, which was the cause of much chaos, public property damage and mayhem!
But I doubt that any of my friends here have anything to fear from me, since I think it’s very rude to maul and dismember your friends, just because you have werewolf issues. I learned a long time ago to only maul and dismember people that I genuinely don’t like, and stay far away from my friends when I get like this.
Although I do tend to run long distances when I’m a werewolf, and one night I ranged all the way from Boston Ma, to a small rural town in Southern Ohio, covering a distance of over 700 miles!
But no one there was harmed – in fact, quite the opposite… All the women woke up the next morning with fur on their pillows and smiles on their faces… even though they couldn’t quite remember why… Lol
So tonight ladies, if you hear me howling around your kitchen door, well you might want to take a chance and let me in. It could be a night that you’ll never forget, except that I will use my supernatural werewolf charm to make sure you don’t remember the details – leaving you only with just how good you’ll feel, when you wake up in the morning.
PS – For any readers who are disappointed that this isn’t a post about Rock band Creedence Clearwater Revival, (it’s happened before) look for my upcoming post called “There’s A Bathroom On The Right”.