WARNING: This post is so boring that it’s a real snooze fest and should be read only by chronic insomniacs to help them get some sleep at night. I’d delete it, but some of my best blogging buddies were kind enough to congratulate me here on my first full year of blogging on WordPress, so however boring it is, the post will stay here. My sincere thanks again to those of you who took the time to offer me your congratulations here.
But for a much better blog read, move on over to my next post, Excessive Celebration! that I did have the time to write on my actual First Blogiversary on December 1st, and I think it’s worthy of the occasion!
Because almost just as much as I believe that no one should ever be stuck in a no-sex marriage, I also believe that no one should ever be stuck reading a boring blog post written by me!
As of this coming December 1st, I will have been blogging here on WordPress for a full year. But I’m writing about it now, because I’ve had so little time lately to be on WP at all, and today I have the time. So better for me to write about my first WordPress Anniversary now, than wait until December 1st, when I may not have any time to write anything at all. (12/1/12 -not true!)
My personal and professional life has been a blur for the entire month of November, and as a result, this will be only my third post for the month, making it my least productive month ever on WP. Which is very different from my first month here on WordPress, when in December of 2011, I wrote 26 posts. Someone asked me the other day if during the last month, I’ve been reading other WP blogs, even though I haven’t been posting on my own. The answer is that for almost all of November, except for work, I’ve hardly been online at all.
This is very disappointing, because I feel like I’ve lost touch with almost all of my fellow WP bloggers and friends, and if many of you feel like I’ve lost interest in you and your blog, please know that’s not true at all. I haven’t been reading and commenting on your posts, because my real life circumstances haven’t allowed me to, and that really bothers me.
But I’m now cautiously optimistic that this can change for the better. One of the reasons why, is that after today, I’m going to stop writing marathon comments and replies on other blogger’s posts. (12/1/12 -liar!) I’ve got my caffeine consumption down to more manageable levels, so I’ll be far less likely to ramble on forever, and I also have finally got it through my thick head that some of you don’t appreciate it when I show up on your blog, and write a 1,500 word comment on your posts. I get it… I also get that when I ramble on forever with my marathon comment on one blogger’s post, it leaves me with little to no time to read and comment on other bloggers’ posts, leaving them with the impression that I’m no longer interested in their blogs.
So some of you will be happier when you see less of me, in the form of less lengthy comments on your posts, and as a result, more of you might be happy to see me again after a long absence, because I’ll actually have the time to read your posts and then make a comment of reasonable length on what you have written. Enough said. For a change… Lol ;-)
Random Reflections on a Year’s Worth of WP Blogging:
I am still surprised and amazed at the ongoing weirdness of “Statomania” in relation to my blog. (12/1/12 – hopefully, for the very last time, or at least hopefully I’ll never post about it again! Because it’s BORING!!!)
As of today, I have 77,825 all-time views of my blog. BUT… (12/1/12 – OMG! what will he write next after that big ‘BUT…’?!!! The suspense is stultifying! Or maybe non existent! Or maybe he’ll post a video of grass growing and paint drying!)
If you click on the image above to enlarge it, (use your back arrow to return to my post) you’ll see that my top two most viewed posts account for 51,509 views, or over 66 percent of my total all-time views. (12/1/12 – Udderly fascinating, Chris!!!)
Why? Well, because as I’ve mentioned here before, my all time most viewed post, Staring at Her Elephant currently with 34,068 views since last February, in which I wrote about the husband of the former President of Finland supposedly being caught on camera staring very directly down the Princess of Denmark’s cleavage during a formal dinner… is proof that we really do live in a breast obsessed world.
(12/1/12 – Of course you are never overly impressed by a nice pair, now are you, Chris!)
Almost all these views are not from other WordPress bloggers, but from breast obsessed males all around the world, who have landed on my post because they were and still are using Google and other internet search engines to look for pics of female breasts on the internet. And most of all, they are looking for pics of breasts that belong to a Princess…
How do I know this? Because after many months of feverish viewing, the large daily number of hits for this post finally began to level off – Until Princess Kate Middleton’s breasts got visually violated by that scum bag paparazzi photographer, and suddenly the number of daily views for the post not only shot way back up again, but set a single day all time viewing record on my blog, of 538 views on September 28th, 2012. The worldwide online frenzy for viewing the breasts of a Princess raged out of control once again, and it didn’t level off again until just the last week or so.
This does not make me proud to be a man… and my only satisfaction is that any guys who land on my blog looking for the naked breasts of a Princess, are guaranteed to be disappointed, because they will never see them here. Except maybe, for a picture of Princess Cheyenne, because I know that she wouldn’t mind…
For those of you who don’t know, (and probably don’t care) Princess Cheyenne was a local legend here in Boston back in the mid to late 1970s, because she was without a doubt, the most incredibly hot and devastatingly sexy stripper to ever perform here, back in the days of Boston’s red light district known as the “Combat Zone” because it was frequented by lots of soldiers and sailors out for a good time on the town.
Princess Cheyenne brought pole dancing to the level of Art, and she had a variety of smoothly flowing and very provocatively sensuous moves that made many a strong man light headed and weak in the knees; this man included. There was no other stripper who could get the entire crowd at “The Naked Eye” up on their feet and cheering wildly, as soon as it was announced that she was about to appear, and before she even set one single foot on the stage. She was that good…
The last time I saw her perform I was 19 years old, but I remember watching her like it was only just last night. I do have one photo of her naked in all her astounding and amazing womanly glory, but I know better than to post it here.
So this one will have to do… even though it doesn’t even come close to doing her justice.
12/1/12 – Screw it! Since I’ve warned everyone not to read this post, I’m going to post the much better photo of Princess Cheyenne, that appeared in Playboy.
Still doesn’t do her justice, and the only way that anyone could fully appreciate her true talent, would be to have seen her perform live on stage. She wasn’t just a stripper – she was an erotic dance performance artist.
But I digress… So back to our originally scheduled programming here. Deep breath – Big Sigh… (12/1/12 – Insert audio of loud snoring here…)
My second all time most viewed post, Tina Fey, Naked Mole Rats, and Our Breast Obsessed World with 17,441 views, also does not make me feel very proud to be a man. This is because without ever intending to, I have discovered that there is a worldwide raging Tina Fey sexual fetish out there in cyberspace. Before I say another word, I do like and admire Tina Fey a lot, because I think she is highly intelligent, very talented, and also very funny, as well as being a very attractive woman.
Intelligence, talent, attractiveness, and the ability to make me laugh… Tina’s got all that I want in a woman, wrapped up in one very pretty package. Of course, my wife is also intelligent, talented and attractive, and she can also make me laugh. Even better, she’s actually available to me, which is a BIG advantage! (Hi Jean! Lol!)
Okay, I can hear some of you thinking… and what you are thinking is ‘Given a choice, would he take Tina Fey? Or Princess Cheyenne?’
And of course, the answer is… Neither! Because the only correct answer is, that I would take my wife – in a heartbeat, every single time. (What? Do you think you’re playing around with some inexperienced rookie here? I don’t think so!) Lol ;-)
But however much I like and admire her, I am NOT sexually obsessed with Tina Fey – in the way that apparently millions of nerd pervs out there in cyberspace are!
Check out this chart of my all time most frequent search terms that lead “people” (male nerd pervs!) to my blog. Click on the chart to see it larger and then use your back arrow to return to my post.
The all time most frequent search term that leads “people” (weirdos!) to my blog, is “cleavage” and this is because of the worldwide cyber-obsession with the International Princess Cleavage Ogling Incident described in my all time most viewed post.
(12/1/12 – The heartbreak and horror of cleavage!)
But check out what my second all time most frequent search term is, and you’ll see it is “tina fey naked”. Just positively charming… Aside from the fact that there really are millions of nerd pervs out there who are looking for pics of Tina Fey naked online, (there aren’t any pics of Tina Fey naked online, except for the fake photo-shopped ones) it took me many months to figure out why this has been my blog’s second most frequent search term.
I finally figured out that it was all because of something totally innocent that I had done, when I created the title of my second all time most viewed post, “Tina Fey, Naked Mole Rats, and Our Breast Obsessed World”. I realized that Google and other internet search engines were responding to millions of internet searches by finding the first three words of the title of my post, which are Tina Fey, Naked. Thanks a hell of a lot, Google! I wrote that post with nothing but the most honorable and respectable of intentions, and YOU turned my blog into Nerd Perv Porn Central!!!
12/1/12 – Some intentional humorous overstatement here, but here’s an example of why it doesn’t have to be that way…
Because true erotica can be quite beautiful – instead of lewd and down in the gutter.
A portrait of our cleavage and naked Princess breast obsessed world, populated by millions of nerd pervs who lust for pictures of Tina Fey naked… You guys have no shame! Except apparently for the guys in a few isolated countries in Africa, who probably don’t have the internet, and the guys in the South American country of Bolivia and also Kazakhstan, which is the large blank area south of Western Russia. I’m not sure what the deal is with the Bolivian guys, but I’m wise to what’s really going on with you Kazakhstani guys!
The only reason that you aren’t up on this wall of shame for lusting after Princess breasts and naked pics of Tina Fey, is that you guys made Borat your IT Dept Head, and your internet has been down for the last seven years!
What were you thinking?!?
(12/1/12 – And what were you thinking, Chris? That 2,000 words later, long after it was too late, that you should finally attempt some humor here???)
But thankfully, my third all time most viewed post, I Love Pets – But Maybe Not The Naked Mole Rats… has no association with any online sexual obsessions. (at least not any that I know of, and if there are any, well I don’t want to know!) Again, it’s the search terms that are bringing in almost all the views, but at least this time, the big draws are “naked mole rats” and I would have never guessed they’d be so popular with so many people online, and also “little green turtles”, which many people are also searching for on the internet, and again, I’m just really surprised!
I mean, I know those little green turtles are cute, but I never realized they are also a much sought after internet sensation. Go figure…
Here they are, everybody! Go wild!!! Lol :-)
I do have this theory that many of the people who are looking for Naked Mole Rats, are the same people who are sick to death of all those cute kitten pictures that are everywhere on the web, and causing a massive overdose of cuteness for many folks out there in cyberspace.
Has too much of this been causing you an internet cuteness overdose?
Well then suffer no more, because there is nothing cute about a Naked Mole Rat, and you’re welcome! Lol ;-)
As I said back in my original post, they look like an old man’s penis with feet and a nasty set of fangs. Which I guess, is why so many people online seem to love them, because they are the anti-kittens of the online world.
And this is where I stop, because I’m starting to feel like yes, it really has been a year… since I started writing this post! Sheesh!
(12/1/12 – And maybe this feeling should have been telling you something? Like how you ran right off the rails with the “Statomania” thing, and instead of briefly making your point and moving on, you rambled on into an all consuming 2,000 word deathly dull drone about it???)
Except to say just one more thing… Thanks so much to all of you out there, who have followed my blog, and who have taken the time to read and comment on a year’s worth of my blog posts – or even just one or two of them… Lol ;-) Many of you have often brightened my day in more ways than you’ll ever know, and I know that the best way to express my sincere gratitude to you, is for me to come over to your blog and do the same thing for you. But this time I’ll do it in only 1/20th of the word count for my more obnoxiously out of control comments of the past… No, really! I really do mean it this time! Lol ;-)
(12/1/12 – Liar! Ask Elyse, Susie Lindau, and a few others just how well that worked out for you, Chris…)
And here is where the self flagellation stops… Because I had a bad day, this is a new day, and now I’m moving on.